Is being a 'good' girl the worst thing I could be?

Im a junior in high school. I'm instantly put into the 'cute' category or even worse... 'little sister' zoned at school by my girl and guy friends alike. I get good grades, don't use bad language, have never ditched school, have never had sex (or even a boyfriend really), dress modestly, wear little to no makeup, am about 5'4, 110 pounds, and am Christian. I always look at the bright side of things, and I try really hard to take care of the people around me.

I get so discouraged. A guy starts talking to me but then it's never long before I feel like I get out into the little sister zone. I've asked my older brother what in the world is wrong with me? All he says is that I'm doing the right thing not to worry, I'll find the right guy eventually. My dad tells me I'm beautiful, and that I just have to wait until I'm out of high school to start meeting 'real' men (whatever that means). Sometimes I feel like they have to encourage me because they are family and I don't hav my mom anymore to look up to.

Is is there any hope for me? Will it get easier as I get older? I'm not too interested in changing, because I feel truly happy with the person I am, and I don't know any different... my brother and dad raised me to be this way... but it is discouraging how guys seem interested at first, but they never end up making a move it's like they are scared or something and move on. But I'm like the least intimidating person I know! It's so frustrating.

Please help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sadly your experiencing what almost everyone who is looking for a relationship feel. Your doing your part where are all of the dates at? Sadly when your a person looking for a relationship and a meaning full date. They are really hard to come by. However when you do find a guy that wants to date you he will be a great one, or just a bad one that will try to use you.
    Like your dad says your looking for a real man. Who wants a real Christian woman. Those that are your freindzones are not looking for what you have to offer. They want well what they usually want in high school which they realize is not you and back off. The best thing that you can do is to network. Get out there looking for your man who is worthy of you. Sadly dating is a numbers game, and a long one at that.
    Honestly being a Christian myself, and a "good boyscout" I also have a really hard time with well what you do. I'm the one they keep as a guy freind and tell me that I will find a great wife and she will be extremely lucky to have me. I just have to find her. Sadly after I find a girl and we have chemistry, she is my type, and I get to know her enough to want to ask her out. She has come to only see me as a trusted freind. I will tell you that seeing who your real friends are is easier after high school.
    Keep looking for someone worthy of you who wants to wait also if you want to wait for sex. Honestly that is the best way to scare off a faker. Just stick to what you said and don't let him try anything.
    If you want to talk some more message me. I'd be happy to talk with you about anything you want to know. :)

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    • Thank you for your thoughts, I really appreciate it 😊 Good luck to you too! I hope you find a wonderful girl soon!

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    • The timing thing is a really good point - but patience is hard!

    • I definitely agree with you having patience is hard and we don't know how long we need to be patient for.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You are still a junior in High School. I mean, what the hell? When I was your age all I cared about was playing video games. I started dating when I was close to 18. It's way too soon to be worrying about that

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • First off, as a Christian, you should only marry Christians, right?
    That probably eliminates more than 50% of the boys you are around at school.

    Secondly, sex before marriage is a no-no, so you really can't do anything until you're married anyway. You need to ask yourself, "What kind of "move" do I want guys to make anyway?"

    If you go to college, it's unlikely you will marry for about 5 years. Do you really want to have the temptation that dating can present for the next 5 years?

    Trust me, at your height/weight, unless your face is majorly disfigured, guys WILL find you attractive.

    Cool it, get to know guys as people and not just some prize.

    Your dad knows how the mind of a teenage boy works.
    (He was a teenage guy at one time, right?)

    Be patient... Trust in the Lord... Do not fret
    Read Psalms 37

    Gal. 6:9
    And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

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  • they might be intimidated by your apperance, they may think you are out of their league

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    • That's what my dad and brother say.
      I don't know if it's true, but if it is then that's really a bummer. People at school think I'm really sweet, and they shouldn't be intimidated... I would never say anything mean, especially if a guy was putting himself out there for me.

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    • you should pm me 😋

    • or follow

  • Guys your age, most of them, are looking for a sexual relationship. Some want just sex. Some want a girlfriend who they are sexual with. If they sense that's not a possibility, they'll move on. There are some guys who want just a girlfriend and would let her set whatever pace - even 'waiting'.

    That won't change when you get older, in fact, there will be less guys okay with waiting.

    Traditionally girls waited for marriage but got married very young. So if you're on that path, well, probably once you're even in college, you'd be looking at marriage oriented young men. And yes, for those guys, you'd likely have perfect 'wife' qualities.

    It will be up to you to decide how you want to live. Right now your family is happy with you on the 'wife' path which is why guys aren't pursuing you as a hookup... or a girlfriend.

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