I stay in a bad relationship because I don't wanna be alone?

I'm 26 living with my boyfriend of 2 years. Things are not going well, we fight, he is emotionally abusive, and physically breaks & throws things. Although I am unhappy, I can't break up with him, because the moment he is gone for a few days I become sad and alone. I hate eating alone, waking up alone, being in my own home alone. I don't know what to do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Get some friends. The best way to do that is to break up and try to go out. Shit is reeeeeeally tough when you're in that mindstate because new people won't want to be around you as much. But you really just gotta play the numbers game and talk to EVERYONE. Not obviously to get a rebound, but just to settle those horrible feelings.

    Hope you get out and it works out for you, sorry to hear you're going through this *hugs* :)

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    • Thanks so much :)

    • Ty for MH, I truly hopes this actually helps and you get through this.
      If you ever wanna talk, I've been through similar-ish and I know how shitty it can get, im happy to be there if you just need someone to talk to :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • You have to ask yourself why you become sad and alone, it probably has a lot to do with how you feel in your relationship, it just sounds like you can't be alone and thats shitty, we all are alone at a time in our lives, before you even had a boyfriend you were single.. so you really have to be comfortable with being yourself and then being alone won't be so bad because then you'll realize that its important to be alone too, you learn about yourself a lot better. because in relationships.. you can lose a sense of yourself.

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What Guys Said 4

  • From a relationship coaching lens, you're asking the right question. If I were to be blunt, I'd say that the worst thing that you could do is stay with someone purely out of a need to be with someone. We teach people how to treat us by virtue of what we expect (respect, civility) and what we accept (emotional abuse, physical breaks, etc.). He will never feel a need or reason to change if there is no real consequence to his actions.

    Now, the deeper rooted question that you MUST explore is why you fear being alone. Without exploring and getting to the root of this, you will never have an equal and authentic relationship with someone. Why? Because you will always make the relationship about them out of fear of losing them since losing them would mean you were alone. Do you see the vicious cycle?

    To answer your last question very directly. Leave him and find yourself. Sincerely. If you'd like more thoughts, let me know. Here to help.

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  • endure the shitstorm cause there is a rainbow afterwards.

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  • Stop fucking others so much. That should tone him down some.

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  • He will escalate his abuse and begin beating you... up to and including putting you in the hospital. It is best to dump him and find someone else. You are in danger.

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    • Thank you. I have had bruises on me before, thanks to him

    • Get yourself someplace safe! Maybe family so you aren't alone.

What Girls Said 3

  • Leave him. You're better off being alone than in a bad relationship. You'll be much happier and safer if you leave.

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  • what you do is spending a week crying and being a baby about it. then stop put on bling bling by jungle pussy and turn into the kick ass independent needs no man grown ass woman you were destined to be.

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  • Leave him no need to stay in a relationship if it is toxic. You said the relationship is bad. It is better to be alone than to be in a toxic relationship. You deserve better and you should know that. If he isn't treating you right, leave.

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