Girls, Is this girl worth it?

This is a very long story. I have been dating this girl off and on and have gone out about 3 times. Really deep conversations with her. Her personal life is a disaster. She drinks a lot and has been separated from a serious lover for three years. She goes to a corner bar about 5 times a week to drink. That's where I met her. We became very close friends over the 7 months I have known her. I just finished talking with her a week ago when I invited her to dinner and she told me she wants to change her life. She meant it. She never went to the bar again. She enrolled in college. She started exercising again. I really do consider her a friend. I told her I wanted more. I wanted to know her more intimately. We kissed very passionately. Then, she texts me and says that she cares for me a lot but she doesn't want anything to do with men right now and wants to focus on herself. She said she doesn't want to see me anymore. It hurt my feelings and called her. I said that while yes, I want to be loose lovers, I am still her friend and want to help her grow in a positive way. We agreed to go out again and talk about us. What should I do ladies? I want to show her that there are still good men and I can help her accomplish her goals. And if being lovers doesn't work, I am still and always will be a close friend. I want responses from real women about this. It is bothering me a lot and see value in her. I don't want to continue dealing with whores and want something a little more real. What do I do?


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What Girls Said 1

  • If you really love her, make sure to make her feel comfortable again but take your time. I don't have the same past as her but I can understand her since I have been through a lot of difficult situations, to the point that I tried to kill myself and am still visiting my psychologist to maintain my mental health. You sound like a genuine man who cares for her, but don't push your romantic feelings on her because that will make her feel uncomfortable and probably pressured, since she now knows you have feelings for her. It's up to your gut feeling if you think it's worth to continue it, you know the your feelings and the situation best. But try be too shocked or heartbroken if you still won't work out with her romantically, since she need to find herself first and spend some time to recover.

    • You know your own feelings and the situation best*, try not to be too shocked*. My bad.

    • I don't know if you'll read this or not, but I guess it doesn't matter. I never post anything online. Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate this input. Love is something that takes a very long time to ascertain. I care for her and want to help help her. She needs to be the one willing to keep that door open. If not, well I can't do anything for her. Romantically or otherwise. I suppose I will just have to talk to her and say I am more than willing to be her friend and grow our friendship. She will be the one who says if she at least wants that or not. Only time will tell. Thanks again for your input. If you have any questions about this situation I have, please ask.

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