I'm dating an old man?

I'm 26 and I met a 52 year old divorced man, with a 10 year old son. He is attractive, and such a sweet soul. The way he cares about me and is so thoughtful, is making me fall for him. My parents are SUPER upset because he is the same age as them! Should I pursue? Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I won't say absolutely no. But that is a big age difference and I think you need to proceed with caution and go very slowly. I think you need to think hard about what it really means to be with someone that much older.

    The two of you are in very different places in your life. At your age, you are really only just getting started. At his age, he's completely established in his life and is probably thinking about retirement in a serious way.

    Physically he's at a point in his life where he will start going down hill very quickly, and maybe already is. He'll need reading glasses. He is starting to lose muscle mass. So before long he'll be handing you the jar to open instead of the other way around. His stamina is dropping rapidly. His motivation, ambition, drive, and energy will be dropping.

    He's not going to want to go out with the "kids" your age. Do you want to hang out with a bunch of old farts? Will you end up looking at what others your age are doing, the high energy fun stuff, and a part of you misses it? Will you pass by groups of people your age out having fun on a Friday night, while you are on your way to the grocery store to get a gallon of milk, then go home and sit around doing nothing?

    His life is established. You will join his life. It would not be an equitable joining. You will not go out as a couple to buy your first furniture, your first set of dishes, decorations for your home, etc. You will not even pick a home together, at least not starting out. You'd probably move into his. Will you really feel at home in his house, or will you always feel like an outsider in HIS house?

    Will you just skip past entire phases of your life, because you will not experience them in the same way as others your age?

    I've thought about all these things, because when I was 50 I accidentally fell for someone your age online. In her case, she was someone who was unlikely to find someone else. Maybe I would have been the best thing for her. Ten years later, nothing happened, but we are still close, and she is still single and wishing she wasn't. In her case, it probably would have been a good thing if we had gotten together. She would probably have been happy.

    That all happened completely by accident. But it gave me time to think about what it really meant for her. For me, it's easy. But for her, at her age she didn't have the same perspective about it as I did. She had not experienced those phases in life like I had.

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    • You're so intelligent and such valid points... I just don't know what to do. I have dated so many people my age and even a bit older and they are just so immature and don't treat me like a woman. It's like the first time I met a mature guy that knows how to speak to women and show them respect.

    • Well it's a trade-off. As I said, I wouldn't say absolutely no. But I tired to give you some things to think about.

      The people your age might seem immature. You could still date someone a little older, but not 25+ years older. Also, remember that you are getting older yourself, and so are others your age.

      The idea of maturity is ambiguous and hard to define. What is mature? Being responsible and paying your bills on time? Taking life "seriously" and not goofing around? Not taking risks? Settling down into a career?

      Around your age tends to be a time of fast transition. Depending on just exactly when a person hits that point of fast change might make it seem like one person is more mature than another, when in reality it might be a change that happens in a short time span of just a few years.

    • Love can be a wonderful thing, that in many ways transcends age. But there can be a price. Just know what you are getting into. You need to know yourself as well. You need to be honest with yourself. Part of being honest with yourself is knowing that you probably have no idea who you will be and what you will want in life 10, 20, 30 years down the road. Almost nobody does.

      Of course, you can just throw caution to the wind and say, "Hey, I love this guy and run with it." Maybe that would be romantic as hell and you can deal with whatever consequences there are when the time comes. I mean, why not?

      I'm very spontaneous myself, so I know that side very well.

      Just try to see the bigger picture and be honest with yourself. Also consider that you will almost NEVER in your life know for sure if you are making the right decision.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If You love him than go for it. Of course they will be against it. They worry he'll hurt you.
    And yeah everyone will talk about him being in diapers later on but not all old people end up that way lol not everyone get stuck to there beds. Yes You have to be prepared for that but no it's not something that HAS to happen.
    This is Your decision, it's Your life Your talking about don't let other people decide...

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What Guys Said 7

  • i don't recommend it... having a sweet soul is one thing but putting him in diapers when he gets old and sick and you are only in your 30's is a whole other ball game! Don't do it... find someone your own age that you can grow old with.

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  • Think about this... When you are 46, he will be 72. Are you sure you want to be stuck taking care of an old man when you are in your prime? I understand him wanting a 26 year old. That's a fantasy to a lot of men. I don't understand a 26 year old woman who want's a man twice her age. How much do you and he have in common. That is very important for a great relationship. Go in with eyes wide open. There are consequences for our decisions. The consequences don't have to come immediately. They can pop up anytime. I wish you the best if you do get with this man.

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  • if he makes you happy then go for it

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  • should you pursue? nope. my thoughts; this is an old man with a pink account.

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    • whats a pink account?

    • female account on gag.

    • haha nice try, but the last time i checked i have a vagina

  • Your happy he happy

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  • My thoughts are you are weird af

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  • I'm 50 and went out with a 22 year old and it wasn't that bad because she was very mature, I'm surprised his son isn't older so at least you're much older than his kid. It is possible to work out and you're old enough to not let your parents to decide for you so it really depends how you get along

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What Girls Said 8

  • EwEwEwEwEw!!! What, has the world run out of guys under 40 for you to date? You're practically dating your own FATHER!!! O are guys your age not rich enough (yet)?

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    • Nothing to do with money. I have had 3 boyfriends, each ranged from 2-4 years in duration.
      1 was my age, and the other two were a few years older. They were completely immature and it was hell. This guy at the very least knows how to treat a woman with respect.

    • Yeah sure. Probably cause you're his daughter he never had...

  • Your parents are not dating him you are. If he makes you happy and you both happy together and he treats you right then there's nothing wrong.

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  • Same age as them!!! Holy smokes. Well you do whatever is best

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  • Do whatever makes you happy but don't forget in the long run looks won't last forever. He will be getting older and something to keep in mind.

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  • i'm not into older guys myself, but if you're happy then you shouldn't care what other people think/say :)

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  • If you're in love, then so be it! But expect a lot of shit from people after you pursue him

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  • I would go for it. if u really like the guy u go for it and don't let nothing stop you

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  • I don't see a problem go for it!

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