Need advice does he love me?

So I am dating a man that is 10 years younger (not a big deal just putting it out there) trying to be open and honest. We meet on a dating site like how pretty much everyone seems to meet. We did go on a date which seemed to shock him because all the other women just wanted to hook up with him and seemed to use him for only that. Where I wanted to meet and go from there. So date went great! We started texting every day last April and haven't stopped and we see each other 4-5 times a week and I have met all of his friends. He isn't very good with words or communication, but all my friends say actions speak louder than words. We both live about 30 minutes apart and I will drive to him or vice versa. We have been exclusive for about 7 months now but still no "I love you" yet. So should I come out and tell him that I've falling in love with him? I'm a little terrified because I don't know if he'll say it back or if it will make him run for the hills? Please give me your thoughts and ask questions if you need to know more.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think 7 months is enough time to safely drop the "L-Bomb". You said he isn't very good with words, most men aren't. I think how you worded it, "Starting to fall in love", is perfect. It is not nearly as powerful as "I Love You" but it is a good way to test the water. I would approach the situation like this... Have a few drinks to soften the mood while doing something you both enjoy. Start by talking about some great memories you guys have created and then just drop it on him. Tell him that he doesn't need to tell you how he feels right away and he can think about it and stuff but you would like to know eventually if he feels the same to know if you guys have something serious or not. That is a pretty good way to approach it. One thing I definitely do not recommend is having the conversation after sex. Guys are not like women in the sense that where women seem to be swell with emotion, men are more lacking than usual.

    I hope this helped :)

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    • Well said.

      But relationships do move at different paces. Living apart, things do tend to move much slower. I agree that 7 months and the unclear "falling in love" not creating the same awkwardness.

      My main concern would be whether his response indicates his true feelings for you. (Might he not say anything even if he has feelings for you, or vise-versa , still feel pressured?)
      Regardless I think you have to increase your communication. Make sure he feels at ease when he talks to you. Is his written skills better than verbal? Many people can write 100X better than they can talk. Especially if the talking is with a woman they are into. If so: Might see if you can find some ways for him to write "what he feels."

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    • Any time. Feel free to follow me and invite me to provide opinions on your future questions.

    • Thank you for MHO! Did I help?

What Guys Said 1

  • I see nothing wrong with the female admitting her love first. If he's not a big talker like you say, he may be afraid to say it. He may say he feels the same way. Seven months is a reasonable enough time to admit your feelings.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe you can start by saying you care about him. I don't know whether he loves you or not but he seems to like you a lot if he's hanging around after 7 months. Personally I wouldn't say I love you first to a guy!

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