My grandparents raised me and I have been taking care of them since I met my wife, my wife doesn't like that, at first she was okay with it but after we got married her demeanor changed totally towards my grandparents, I have been as kind as I can with the way she talks about them, and she is my wife too so I can't ignore her frustrations, it has now gotten to the point where in her words, "if you don't dump your grandparents, I want a divorce", straight to the point, I don't know what to do and I haven't gotten that much sleep because I'm really stressed out about this, I know taking Care of elders is a big deal but I feel like it is an honor to take care of someone who is older, I notice in America, people just freaking hate old people which is weird to me because everybody gets old and most of my girlfriends here have expressed some negativity towards this issue or dumped me because of this or told me that, "this is what old folks homes are for, they stay there and then they die", which to be honest disturbed me but never the less those were ex girlfriends, anyways in reference to this issue, what do I do, I just need some advice really badly.
Wife doesn't like my grandparents that I take care of and wants me to dump them in a home, if not she wants a divorce, help?
What Girls Said 1
Honestly she's being really uncompassionate. Think about it. Those are now her relatives too.
But I understand her frustrations. You guys can't start a family when you're invested in your grandparents.
Please don't dump them in a home. They'll likely suffer depression and it bothers me she can be that cruel to them.
What I suggest is find a bigger house. Your grandparents and wife can coexist in it without having to constantly see each other, and you'll have room for a family. This also would be about as expensive as providing around the clock care for your grandparents.
If they're severely ill tho a medical professional should take care of them. Not you0
What Guys Said 1
If your grandparents raised you and you feel a sense of honor in returning the favor by taking care of them, then do that.
Her attitude is completely shitty. One of the benefits to having children (and grandchildren) is that you have this sense of mutual unconditional love and that all of those parties will be there for each other through thick and thin. This is what the cornerstone of a family should be built upon.
The apathy shown by your wife is pretty alarming. Also, if she's willing to throw down an ultimatum such as this, what's stopping her from doing so again for the next issue that bugs her?
My advice would be to have a serious, heart to heart conversation with your wife and put everything on the table with how you feel. If she doesn't budge, then I would say that you should seriously consider divorcing her.0
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