Why am I still single like seriously?

I'm finding myself become more and more self conscious , more insecure and more sad by the day. I honestly want to know what is wrong with me that guys consider other girls over me? I'm not ugly I have a great body I'm cute and short, I'm nice and understanding.. I have a really freaky side to me.. I'm goofy and I'm extremely loyal. What is it like seriously! I'm becoming worried am I gonna die alone. I'm honestly starting to just give up on love! I'm tired of trying to make somebody see why I'm a good fit for the consideration of being a girlfriend. What do I do that my friends don't. I think I'll just let it go and just take it for what it is.


Most Helpful Guy

  • From a relationship coaching perspective, here are a few things to think about:

    You may very well have a freaky side to you and you may be very loyal but no one knows that unless they're dating you.

    When you say guys consider other girls over you and that you are 'tired of trying to make somebody see' why you're a good fit, is this to say that you actively pursue guys? I ask this question because depending on how actively you pursue them, that could be an issue. Which leads to my next question.

    Are you confident and do you exude confidence and good, positive energy around other people? The reason this matters is because if your day-to-day vibe is similar to what you've captured in this post (insecure, more sad by the day) than that could be an issue.

    It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. You feel sad and insecure, you wear it on your sleeve and others can see it--they don't 'consider' you. You try and make others see why you're a good for them but they see you trying too hard-they don't 'consider' you.

    It truly is about confidence and how you carry yourself. One other element to think about is what situations you put yourself into to meet the right kind of guys--guys that would meet your needs.

    • That's is very much true, I only expose my true self to those I'm in a relationship with. I don't Persue guys they come to me wich I think I make it to easy to have me. I sometimes get in my moods to where I cut everybody off and isolate myself but then I find myself right back talking to the same guys. I'm also not really resourceful which makes it hard to be reliable.

Most Helpful Girl

  • it depends on what situations you put yourself in/avoid. Are you social?

    I gave up the whole "dating" thing after I had my daughter. There have been a couple of guys that I saw briefly, but both times my daughter's dad ruined it for me... yet he doesn't think I'm good enough for him either.
    Everytime I have been involved with a guy, it's been sex based. I'm not THAT girl for guys. I'm good for one thing and that's it.
    Now I know that for sure, I don't have to think about dating anymore. I was sad about it for a while, but it's actually nice to just be able to concentrate on more important things

    Have you tried asking a guy out yourself? Maybe the ones you've met are just not sure of how interested you are?

    • I'm very social, and no I don't ask them out lol my pride is too wide. I think I might be to easy to get smh

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What Guys Said 12

  • Come back here and tell me about it if you're still single by the time when you're 30 years old, or when you're 40 years old, or even 50 years old. Because right now, you've got nothing to really worry about at being 23. Unless you didn't use a real birthday when you signed up here or something and you're actually in your 30s or 40s in real life?

    Unless you're worried about the whole "biological clock" thing, but even then you have until your mid-30s and late 30s to actually even worry about unable to marry and start a family by that time frame (in your mid-30s and late-30s) or if you can afford to, you can always freeze your eggs for later use.

    • I'm not worried I'm sad and lonely, most people have that one person they call theirs if not together or that one person in their life me.. I don't have anybody, I have a lot of guy friends but I don't believe they care for me. I just want to be told that I'm cared about following with directions

  • Since you appear to be attractive and with the body you said you have, I would think it's that you are trying too hard. Do not try to be someone other than you are. If you try to be different, it comes back to haunt you because the likelihood of being able to keep the fake you for very long is pretty much undo-able. Also you are playing games when you do it and you don't start a relationship by playing games. The real you comes out and you've lost their trust or worse. If I had more info, I could give a much better answer. Quit trying. I'd like to know what you mean by saying "I'm tired of trying to make somebody see why I'm a good fit for the consideration of being a girlfriend". What do you do when you say that. Try what? If you go too fast, that scares a lot of people away. You are only 23. Give yourself a break.

    • I don't persue them or try to sell myself, I ask questions to show my interest. I'm a easy person to talk to !!

    • At what point do you feel you lose them? It really sounds like this problem shouldn't exist. Has anyone told you why? From what I know, I would have had no problem with you when I was younger. What kind of questions do you ask? I'm thinking that maybe some could be too bold for starting off a relationship.

    • the relationship end before it's a relationship because I either cut them off or they start acting funny wich will eventually result in me cutting them off; but the main reason I cut them off is because I'd feel used, as far as sex wise. I'd feel like you only talk to me to get sex. Even if we hadn't had sex yet like if you mention it too much I'd feel like that's all a guy wants and they'll throw me away like some trash

  • You're having sex too early. Don't give up your sex, that's the most important asset that women have.

    If you are looking for a serious relationship a guy how pressures you to have sex in the first 3-5 dates is not the type of guy you want to be in a LTR with.

    Here is a secret that the (((media))) lies to you about: Men want a woman who is feminine. We don't want a Mary Sue 'gyrl power' woman. If you want to attract a man, starting acting and embracing your traditional femininity.

    Also you need to accept that the type of guy you want to be in a Long term relationship with, is not a 'bad boy'. That's also a hollywood created concept.

    The same applies to men, we have women we want to 'bang' and women we want to 'marry'. Be the later not the former.

    Also, if you have colored hair. Stop it, men don't like colored hair it's trashy and a warning sign.


    • I haven't had sex since January of last year and yet I'm still lonely af!! I just recently had sex in January of this year, but I think that's all I need and I'll be fine

  • you never had a boyfriend. ?
    it's okay it's happen.
    same happen with me too.
    i want something serious and very Long.
    age race and much dosent matter.
    the thing matter loyalty and trustworthiness towards me. that's it.
    i know it will take time to find the correct and good person. but in last we know we will much happier than other.

    just wait for the right guy.
    do not get in a relationship. just becuase you think you aré single.
    being single is better than being in a relationship with a wrong person.

  • Someones time clock is ticking... how many moves have you made?

  • Are your standards high?

    • I don't know.. I don't talk to guys that are underneath me!! So I guess they are

  • Do you have RBF?

  • be yourself, i believe u will find the one, u are still young.

  • I'm in the same situation, I'm cute, nice, funny, have a nice body, but yeah I still can't seem to get a girlfriend, I have no idea what to do, I also am really sad and scared that I'm going to die alone

    • age 20, u are still young, dude.

    • Show All
    • ... Yet people that are in long term relationships or marriages are still lonely so that should tell you that it is not necessarily about other people or external factors, but about the relationship you have with yourself.

      We are the only ones that can make or break our loneliness, just as we are the only ones that can make or break our happiness. If one thinks those things are solved by external factors or by others, then they are mistaken and distracted from the inner problem.

      This is part of why there are so many unhealthy relationships and why so many go from one person to the next, they are trying to fill a void they don't understand. It's more difficult at your age because you have not had a great deal of time to really get to know your inner depths, and forge a long term relationship with yourself.

    • Yeah man I absolutely agree

  • talk to guys be out going and let them know u want love

  • The Moments always come when you dont think about them. :)

  • What's wrong with being single?

    • Nothing but when you never been a relationship shit gets hard

    • @Capricornation I think that's true especially if someone's been single chronically long term and had never been in any relationships prior, eventually they might become to accustomed to it, get too comfortable and used to it, that tit becomes a comfort zone that they're stuck in like quicksand and can't get themselves out of and it gets really hard from there. And they might just lose all of their motivation, will, desire, incentives, or even hope or even care anymore about how they had been single for so long. It happened to me, been single for more than 30 years already, as my age displayed here isn't my age in real life in case if you're wondering.

    • @JudgmentDay I wasn't going to check lol, but yeah I feel as thou I'm just so used to being single I don't know how to to display my emotionsoe be a girlfriend. I express my feeling more so like a man verses feminin. It's a pride thing. I think that I'm just gonna give up and let it go thou. Obviously it's not for me ! Maybe I'll be that girl that can't keep a man :( that makes me sad

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