Girls, do you ever wish you were as unfeeling as men are?

I do. Their ability to just not care about women baffles me and sometimes I wish I could feel that way after a break up or during a relationship, but I just get a rush of emotion. I kinda envy their ability to feel nothing and move on like the relationship meant nothing.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not that we don't feel anything. We feel - more than you realize. But we MANAGE those feelings differently, because our brains work differently and the societal expectations of men are VERY, VERY different than those of women - and most women are VERY quick to judge us harshly if they perceive us as "weak."

    The other thing is: women can't move on from something until they've FELT every last feeling, from every possible angle and perspective, and processed those feelings in every conceivable way. Men are more like surgeons - we find the problem and we cut it out. There's still pain and loss of those things that get cut out, but by taking ACTION and separating ourselves from the source of the pain, we are able to recover much faster - which we HAVE to do, because we can't be seen being upset or hurt, or we'll be labeled "weak, whiny little bitches."

    That's a completely different pressure that you don't think a lot about because, as women, you're ALLOWED to be emotional and to cry and feel hurt and upset around other people. It's socially acceptable - even encouraged. Imagine the pressure you'd feel if you had to contain all of that and never let anyone else see it - that's a man's daily life and exactly what we're expected to do.

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    • Props for this answer, one really couldn't have explained it better. And it bugs me too. Everyone has a right to feel like sh*t sometimes and I really don't know how the he'll you manage to control the emotions so that you're never seen crying or very down.. It's sad.. Being forced to act okay just because of society 'rules'.

    • Wow. Couldn't have said it better bro

Most Helpful Girl

  • Men have feelings, what a ridiculous statement. I'm sorry that you've obviously come across some that don't have feelings towards YOU but to say that they are all unfeeling is just unfounded and reeks of bitterness.
    If anything it's more difficult for men to openly express their feelings due to the masculine stigma against having softer/gentler emotional tendencies. Many men I know show them once they know they can trust you - just as I'm ok to ask for help once I know they won't take advantage of that weakness.

    Instead of wondering what's wrong with them I'd be working on my own shortcomings and accepting that sometimes relationships just don't mean as much to some people - that doesn't mean all of that gender are unfeeling

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    • Lol, who said this post was about me? I have friends and family you know, who says it's not about them? Triggered lol, you shouldn't assume things boo.

      And it's not more difficult for men lol

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    • Lmao "waaah who said this post was about me but I have real life experience with men treating me like dirt so I'll blame them instead of working on myself and my selection criteria"
      media0.giphy.com/media/l3vRbyZfZkTv1GzbG/giphy.gif
      When everyone is telling you the same thing, chances are you're wrong "boo"

    • Because they're making assumptions just like you, duh lol,

      Bye girl lol

What Guys Said 19

  • Ok, I know that there are a lot of Male DBAGS out there, that take great pride in just using women for their own joy, but there are also, A LOT of really good guys that could really love, and care about you!! Sounds like you know a lot of the DBAGS, and maybe are a little 'jaded' from bad experiences with A$$holes!!
    As a guy, I apologize for those, of my gender that are nothing more than Knuckle-dragging monkeys that just want to 'Hit it and Quit it'!
    Don't envy them for being uncaring, cold DBAGS!! Seriously, they are not 'Right in the head'!! That is not how a man should be!! Or just a caring, sane PERSON, for that matter.
    Using another, for your own personal joy, and not caring about them, like they were some toy, or object, is just FCKED UP!!
    Normal people don't treat others that way!!
    Find a better kind of guy, and don't sell out, and become someone like them, just because you were hurt by them!

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  • so I know this is for girls but I had to answer anyway, and you're pretty wrong on the fact that men don't have feelings, It's a fact that men feel hurt LONG after a breakup occurs, whereas a girl feels it very shortly after. and by the time a guy feels like the girl does, she's already moved on.

    and guys really do have feelings, but they express them very differently. see men express their emotion through action, and sometimes violence, because there are more neural connections between the parts of the brain that deal with emotions, and action, it's a larger, stronger connection. but with females it's hardwired into communication, and speech. so you can see why we appear "heartless" It's because we don't express our feelings the same way as you might.

    Hope whatever caused you to feel this way gets resolved; all the best!

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  • i think this is a rather sexist thing to say. first, to presume men as unfeeling is false. two, you imply that a man who is "feeling" is then somehow less of a man

    it may be nice to not be able to allow your emotions to play so much into relationships and what not. but i've seen this trait in both men and women

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  • What? Who said we're unfeeling? Who says we move on easily? I say that if a man feels nothing after a break up and/or doesn't care about the woman during the relationship, he doesn't care and love her at all, he never felt anything. When we care, we do feel hurt when things end, moving on ain't an easy process many times.

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  • Here's a hint, if he felt nothing, he probably didn't like you.

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  • Oh boy, you need to learn sooooo much about men XD

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  • Who says men don't have feelings. Just because society expects men not to have feelings, so they don't show the doesn't mean they are not there. The hiding of their feelings leads to more suicide in men.

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    • I don't believe men have feelings.

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    • @Qwertsy So which is it? The OP said men have feelings and you're saying their emotionless lol

    • Sorry, what I'm meaning is they have been brought up to be emotionless, meaning if we show emotions, we are viewed as weak, and not a man.
      As a result, men are forced to pretend as though they don't have them. Most men will sorrow alone at home without the emotional support of friends or family after a breakup. An unhealthy, yet nessesary act in order to prove their worth in society. Men are NOT emotionless. They are just taught to appear that way.

  • That's not true. You'd have to know every man to conclusively land on that statement. Some men move on faster than others but is that necessarily healthy to suppress your emotions by ignoring the last relationship. Ignorant people do that, men/women. By bottling up and telling yourself "that wasn't no thang" you digress in learning more about yourself.

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    • Lol, healthy or unhealthy, they still on average move on faster than women and act like they don't care.

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    • Thus why I wish I was as unfeeling lol

    • OK I see what you mean. You should study some meditation techniques. breathing exercises and stretching, very beneficial. Sets the mind at ease, probably because I drink loads of coffee but to each his own

  • I'm a man and I wish I was even more unfeeling.

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  • What the fuck?
    I have strong feelings I wish I didn't have... Makes me feel like a complete pussy admitting it

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  • We feel too we just hide it or as a therapist once told me bottle up emotions

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  • We do have emotions but generally we either oppress them or not show them. We would be perceived as weak as men showing lots of emotion is generally not sociably accepted

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  • Hasty generalization. You've been hanging around with the wrong men.

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  • Some guys have mental breakdowns after breakups and about relationships so I don't know what you're talking about

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  • To be fair, women make it very easy not to care.

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  • guys aren't unfeeling :(

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  • I sometimes wish I could be unfeeling as unfeeling people are :)

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  • Men are not unfeeling, that's a urban myth, did something you do upset him, where you stressing him out?

    if somebody can break up with you and not feel anything then you have to ask, did he like you that much in the first place? Did you make yourself easy for this guy or did you make him chase you? The reason I ask this is because guys have strong feelings of lust and will sometimes use women for sex.

    The best way to filter between the boys and the men is to make yourself difficult to obtain, that way if the guy really wants you he will work hard for you and put himself out,

    as a guy my advice for the future would be to make sure he wants you more then you want him. It's a mans job to put himself out and to be thick skinned not a women's.

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  • Tasty bait

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What Girls Said 19

  • Guys do feel. They do get torn up inside, just many times they don't show it because it is not acceptable in society for a man to cry or show attachment. (It's okay to cry and be sad guys!) I've been there for my guy friends when their girlfriends break up with them and they feel really awful. Many times their exes move on faster than they do.

    I think you should specify and say, do you ever wish you were as unfeeling as players are. Players don't care about the individual they are seeing. A guy in a relationship where he cares about her, he will be torn up. A player who doesn't care and is only there for sex, doesn't care so no wonder why he is "unfeeling". That said, there are girls who play the field too. Please don't try to generalize all guys as "unfeeling" because that is certainly not true.

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  • I HIGHLY doubt that every single man walking this Earth feels "nothing" or "doesn't care" about their relationships. I know I'm merely a child compared to most of the people here, but even I know not all guys are like that. If there are guys out there that can move on like their relationship meant nothing, that just proves how much of an asshole they were. Why would you want to become an asshole? I'd rather care so much, than feel nothing. I'm human, I feel shit. So imma do me, and imma feel shit. Fuck those guys that feel nothing. You just focus on you girl.

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  • 2 things:

    1. If he's "unfeeling" after the breakup, I'm sorry then that means he just didn't love YOU. Not that he can't love or feel anything, just that he didn't feel it towards YOU.

    2. Lack of SHOWING emotion is not the same as not having emotions. Many men are taught that their feelings either don't matter or that they're "effeminate" for having them. So many, unfortunately, take the unhealthy route and bottle them up, appearing callous and emotion less

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  • there are women out there like that. i have a boyfriend now but when i was single guys i was just hooking up with i had no feelings for, they weren't allowed to sleep over, i didn't cuddle, it was sex and then out the door. i have a friend who's also a successful educate woman but she's still single and she is the same way.

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  • Men do feel though... They are usually less expressive. Not feeling and not emoting are very different things,

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  • Woah sore bitch on the loose. Guys do have emotions, guys do care. They can just control their feelings better.

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  • I think they just hide it better or it doesn't hit them as hard until later than we feel it.

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  • I notice more men moping around after breaking up than I see women. Men that really liked the girl, that is.

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  • I'm much worse than any man who's ever tried to wrangle my heart. It's not fun.

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  • Men have feelings too. They prefer not to show it. They feel sad, hurt, happy, etc. They prefer not to show it because they think it is less manly and it will make them weak. If a young boy falls and cries, his other friends will laugh and make fun of him. He learns that if he's going to cry, people will make fun of him. He will be considered weak. People will see him as a weakling and he doesn't want that. So, he prevents himself from crying every time. If men don't show any emotions, it doesn't mean they don't have any.

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  • yeah.. i know what you mean. I'd rather be a guy in my next life.

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  • Men have feelings.

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    • No they don't.

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    • Then stop talking to me lol, triggered lol

    • You know what they say about 'assume' lol

  • I doubt they are unfeeling.

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    • Why is your name Autism?

  • Most of the guys I date are more emotional then I, but I feel emotions I just only express them when I feel like it. Maybe it's the same for them?

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  • I do feel like that at times. I'm very kind , caring and compassionate. I try to never intentionally hurt people , but most people I come across are not like that. Being too compassionate and caring attracts manipulative selfish people

    I envy people who are hard hearted and have little regard for other people's feelings , because they are less sensitive so don't get hurt as easily

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  • ı am happy with my feelings.

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  • No no no at least you feel something. If you didn't feel anything at all would your relationships be worth it? It sucks to be sad but that's what makes you human. That's what makes your relationships real.

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  • Men commit 3x more suicides. WHO is unfeeling?

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  • I'm a walking robot, so I don't really care about much. i don't see the emotional baggage people really talk about, and by the way, men have feeling too, they just wait until they're alone to show them

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