Is there a way for a person to distinguish between losing interest and just being busy?

So I've been on 7 dates with this guy, we've been seeing each other for just over a month. I have not slept with him. We've kissed, held hands and cuddled on our dates.

Last week we planned on meeting up on Tuesday of this week. However, on Monday he let me know that he misread his work schedule and was working later than expected. It was too late for me, as I have to drive 40 minutes to see him and work early, so we decided to change our date to Friday (today).

So just a couple hours ago he said he fell and hurt his foot (he injured his foot on our first date). Said that it's really sore and he wants to rest it. We had also agreed to meet up on Sunday as well, but apparently he has a family dinner now on that day.

He did apologize for cancelling so much lately, blamed his work schedule. He also just posted on FB that he was Sorry to his friends for cancelling so much lately, that he will find out what's going on with his foot next week hopefully.

What do you guys make of this? I like this guy, but I'm worried I might be getting led on.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like the foot thing is legitimate. If it was me, I would tell you I fucked up my foot, so we cannot go out, but we can stay in if you wanted to come over. I would still give you that option. Unless he is worried you might think he is trying to trick you into sex or something.

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    • Thanks! Yea, I kind of wondered why he didn't invite me over. I get being sore sucks. But maybe it has to do with him living with his dad? He moved back home to help his dad out, his dad suffers from a medical issue and requires some care.

    • For sure, could be.

Most Helpful Girl

  • 7 dates isn't enough time to get attached. He's going to have priorities that come first. That doesn't mean he's not interested, it just means he has stuff going on that currently comes before you.
    Plus he clearly posted it for all his friends to see. You really have to be an ass to go through all that trouble publicly just to blow someone off. I'd say he's telling the truth and it's just unfortunate timing.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Hang in there and see what happens. Forewarned is forearmed. You have suspicions, so look, and listen to what he does. ... and how he says it.

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    • "Forewarned is forearmed" I like that! :) pay attention to the signs, and go from there. That I'll do :)

    • That also applies to other things. Always read between the lines. Not so much what is said, but the way it's said.

  • You are just over-thinking it.

    He sounds like a really good guy. Don't be afraid to communicate more with him and express your feelings.

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    • Thank you :) I was worried I might be overthinking it. I tend to do that. I guess it's just that I do really like this guy. He's apologized and it seems legit. I just have to keep aware of the signs. If things start to go south, follow my instincts.

    • Le'ts be frank. And you've been on this site for a while so you can see: The dating world sucks.

      There are shitty men and there are shitty women.

      If you really like this man, be SO GOOD that he won't have a chance to look or even think about anyone else.

      Now this doesn't mean give up your vagina and bang him, but it does mean that you show him that you care about him with other things. Look pretty. Cook. Surprise him with little things. Don't be too over-bearing but embrace your femininity.

  • Wait a minute, you've only been on 7 dates and you are already thinking like this? Are you sure you are doing enough other stuff in your life? Even though he may not know you are thinking this, it can come across anyway.

    There are so many lessons hidden in this take that I could write a book on it.

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    • I have lots of stuff going on in my life. It's just disappointing when someone cancels 2 dates in one shot. I have no issues finding other things to do. But I am getting attached. Laugh at that all you want, but I'm definitely a sensitive person who cares deeply for people I spend time with.

  • If someone is "too busy" that means they're losing or have completely lost interest. It's just that simple. They go hand in hand. When a person wants something they go after it. "7 dates and no sex" was the key phrase. He's lost interest.

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  • 7 dates no sex? Holy fuck.
    he's interested still I don't know y tho

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    • So I'm supposed to bang every guy I go on a few dates with? I am not one to hook up. I have no issue with sex as long as I'm in a relationship.

    • Bang at will idgaf. Im saying i wouldn't stick around even if i did like you so him sticking around despite the sex means he likes you a lot

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