Is it possible to be "too hot"?

I went out to dinner with a very close and trusted guy friend of mine. We started talking about life, relationships, etc just catching up on life. I was telling him about my most recent breakup... this guy and I talked for two months and then he broke up with me a week and a half after making it "official" and has been completely ignoring me. I told my friend how I was so sure that I had done everything perfect and how the boyfriend had even told me exactly that.
My guy friend then looks me in the eye and tells me straight up...
I don't want to come off as an asshole, but I feel like I have to tell you this. You're too hot for your own good. You're a trophy. Guys will pursue you with one thing in mind and only be worried about that. Not very many of them will actually take the time to get to know you.

Is this actually true? I have never heard of any such thing in my life. And this kind of scares me. Am I never going to find someone that actually sees my good heart? That sees how much I have to offer beyond my appearance?


0|2
911

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's mostly bullshit. I say "mostly".

    It is true that if you're perceived to be attractive to a very wide range of males, some immature types are going to be interested in parading you around as a trophy. But to conclude that the majority of guys who are interested in you are interested for that purpose is a stretch. Besides, it doesn't take long to figure out the types who would use you in this way.

    There is something annoying about having a really hot girlfriend though. The hottest I managed to date was a swimsuit model and I wasn't interested in parading her around as a trophy, far from it. I liked her because obviously I find her very physically attractive, but also because we had similar interests -- same taste in large part in music, films, and activities to do together.

    Yet she was so popular with guys that everywhere we went, guys were trying to pick her up. I couldn't even leave her alone in a restaurant for 5 minutes to go to the bathroom before I came out finding another guy trying to talk to her. And I'm not the insecure type, but after the thousandth time of getting in the middle of this, it gets tiring and annoying. Worse is that she was a sweet type who didn't reject these guys upfront, so I usually had to step in. Even when I left her alone to reject the guys herself, I had friends urging me to step up and get in the middle.

    So that's really annoying and I actually sometimes wished she wasn't that hot. That said, I'm not the type of person who would conclude that every other guy who approached her was just trying to get in her pants or just wanted to parade her around as a trophy. That's a very broad generalization. It was just annoying that so many males were interested in her.

    1|0
    0|0
    • >> That said, I'm not the type of person who would conclude that every other guy who approached her was just trying to get in her pants or just wanted to parade her around as a trophy.

      This type of generalization is something I attribute to what I want to call a "reject mentality". It's this idea a guy or girl can hold that she is the only one in the world who really cares about someone else, and that typically every other guy/girl who approaches must therefore typically be interested for other, far less noble reasons.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel like if you're a beautiful woman it's gonna be harder to find a good guy because you have to weed out a lot of the shallow assholes who only want u because of your looks. You are a trophy to a lot of men and you have to really vet them to see if he is a genuine guy who actually sees more than that and isn't insecure or shallow. it's not you its them!

    1|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • If your guy friend think you're just a trophy, you might just be one. Like an empty shell. It depends on what you believe. Stop letting the thought get into you. Be good on what you do. Take on the offense and be a strong woman that everyone can respect. Then they'll stop seeing you as just an empty shell.

    1|0
    0|0
  • No, obviously that's not true.
    But there's insecure people everywhere. You've probably heard people using the "you're too good for me" as an excuse when breaking up with their partner. Assuming this is true, it's because of insecurity.

    So no, you're not too hot, that's never gonna happen, BUT, you may be too attractive for some insecure men who think you will cheat because you have more options than a regular girl, or maybe they don't consider themselves as attractive as you, so they may think you're either using them, or will eventually lose interest.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yes it does exist

    Which is a reason why I don't like overly sexual assets on a women. I rather not think about doing it with her every second of the day cause her ass is too fat and her body is smoking

    Attraction yes but not necessarily smoking hot. A little toned down is nice

    0|0
    0|0
  • No there's no such thing.. LOL.. There are a guys out there who would want to pursue a relationship with a nice looking girl. I know don't want to have sex with a girl just because she is pretty.. LOL.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hummmm one you have a good guy friend, two you have a good guy friend thats NOT attracted to you. Guys are blinded by lust and this is very sad and true. You could try online dating with eharmony they compare people based on personality, just dont post what you look like as a picture otherwise guys will only go for your looks, maybe post the pic with your nose on up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nope. This is weird. Girls who are 10s are not considered too hot. Fuck, not even guys who are 10s are considered too hot. Because there are so many people willing to DATE them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • that's his opinion.
    But, the more attractive purple are the more superficial they tend to be.
    (including the people perusing them)

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's complete trash bullshit hahaha.

    0|1
    0|0
  • He's trying to neg you so he can swipe in and take you LOLLLL

    0|0
    0|0
  • send your pic then maybe I can help you with some good opinions..

    0|0
    0|1

What Girls Said 8

  • that's weird. i see plenty of hot and sane girls with good guys. i think your friend is being a bit dramatic. sure, guys will want to sleep with you-they want to sleep with everyone. that's no reason to think that that's all they want from you.

    2|0
    0|0
    • Totally agree

    • No, there are some people who guys only want one thing from.
      I'm not saying I'm hot or too hot, but guys have only ever wanted sex from me. Every single guy. I haven't had sex with every single guy who's approached me, but that's all I've ever been approached for.

      I'm not saying that it's the same for this girl, I'm sure she has a lot going for her and guys are going to start seeing that if they give her a chance, but it does happen.

  • Your friend could be on to something. You may be attracting shallow men who seek beautiful women. Either that or your friend is trying to win you over. In fact, it's highly likely. If you are attractive, it would be difficult for guys to see you as "just a friend."

    1|0
    0|0
  • Im a girl and I've had guy friends coach me on the way the male brain works. I feel as if he is telling the truth. Obviously this guy has some feelings for you. Maybe he sees you as a trophy in a more romantic sense rather than just sex.

    1|0
    0|0
  • He's trying to sabotage you. He's into you and doesn't think he has a a chance in hell unless he can break you down a bit.

    0|1
    0|0
  • If it worries you, just shave your head. Guys tend to avoid trying to bang girls with no hair. At least you'll figure out if he's interested in you.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I often wonder that too. As a mixed race attractive woman I always find it really hard to be just friends with guys, they always ended up having feelings for me. I've had guy best friends 'breaking up' with me when I'm in a relationship. Even being married now, I still feel like a trophy when he keeps telling me how hot I am every other day. I wonder if people will ever see that I'm also smart with a high IQ and highly sensitive.
    Whenever I have a guy best friend, because I'm attractive people always assume we're having an affair when its never like that.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm glad someone relates lol

    • To answer your question. Yes I think there is such a thing as too hot, there are pro and cons to good looks :(

  • I don't view anyone as " too hot" but those who do have low self-. esteem and assume hot people are out of their league

    0|1
    0|0
  • Lol, this troll... always the same type of question

    0|1
    0|0
Loading...