I went out to dinner with a very close and trusted guy friend of mine. We started talking about life, relationships, etc just catching up on life. I was telling him about my most recent breakup... this guy and I talked for two months and then he broke up with me a week and a half after making it "official" and has been completely ignoring me. I told my friend how I was so sure that I had done everything perfect and how the boyfriend had even told me exactly that.
My guy friend then looks me in the eye and tells me straight up...
I don't want to come off as an asshole, but I feel like I have to tell you this. You're too hot for your own good. You're a trophy. Guys will pursue you with one thing in mind and only be worried about that. Not very many of them will actually take the time to get to know you.
Is this actually true? I have never heard of any such thing in my life. And this kind of scares me. Am I never going to find someone that actually sees my good heart? That sees how much I have to offer beyond my appearance?
Most Helpful Guy
I think it's mostly bullshit. I say "mostly".
It is true that if you're perceived to be attractive to a very wide range of males, some immature types are going to be interested in parading you around as a trophy. But to conclude that the majority of guys who are interested in you are interested for that purpose is a stretch. Besides, it doesn't take long to figure out the types who would use you in this way.
There is something annoying about having a really hot girlfriend though. The hottest I managed to date was a swimsuit model and I wasn't interested in parading her around as a trophy, far from it. I liked her because obviously I find her very physically attractive, but also because we had similar interests -- same taste in large part in music, films, and activities to do together.
Yet she was so popular with guys that everywhere we went, guys were trying to pick her up. I couldn't even leave her alone in a restaurant for 5 minutes to go to the bathroom before I came out finding another guy trying to talk to her. And I'm not the insecure type, but after the thousandth time of getting in the middle of this, it gets tiring and annoying. Worse is that she was a sweet type who didn't reject these guys upfront, so I usually had to step in. Even when I left her alone to reject the guys herself, I had friends urging me to step up and get in the middle.
So that's really annoying and I actually sometimes wished she wasn't that hot. That said, I'm not the type of person who would conclude that every other guy who approached her was just trying to get in her pants or just wanted to parade her around as a trophy. That's a very broad generalization. It was just annoying that so many males were interested in her.1
Most Helpful Girl
I feel like if you're a beautiful woman it's gonna be harder to find a good guy because you have to weed out a lot of the shallow assholes who only want u because of your looks. You are a trophy to a lot of men and you have to really vet them to see if he is a genuine guy who actually sees more than that and isn't insecure or shallow. it's not you its them!1