I'm lost! Who should I pursue?

I'm lost! Who should I pursue?

Guy 1: Became my best friend for about half a year. Got extremely close with me but claimed to be gay with rare exceptions and I truly believed that I was one of them. He flirted with me all
the time (and knew it he's the smartest person I've ever met) but could never come to terms with it. That strained the relationship a bit but I think that I truly fell in love with him. I left (for important reasons) and haven't really talked to him in about 6 months but he still crosses my mind.

Guy 2: Totally shows obvious signs of interest and is smoking hot. (That's just a plus.) Super nice, sweet and funny and has a great sense of humor and personality. Definitely a tough guy (but secretly really sensitive!!) I'm the least close with this person (since he's just so shy and never approaches and also partially because he's always so busy). I do like him though and it appears that he likes me too. I could and would, give him a shot.

Guy 3: Currently one of my best friend and I'm one of his best friends. Known him for about half a year now and we clicked right away when we met. We found out that our pasts are actually intertwined. We were on the same soccer team when we were both 5. Super cute and sweet guy. Has a great sense of humor and is extremely fun to hang out with. I'm definitely the MOST comfortable with him (guy #1 behind 2nd in comfort levels). And we hang out pretty often. He's kinda weird though. Sometimes I feel like he's interested in me, and other times I feel like he only sees me as a friend. He gives off mixed signals and it's super confusing. I'm starting to think that we might just be better off as friends? I'm not sure.
  • Guy #1
    Vote A
  • Guy #2
    Vote B
  • Guy #3
    Vote C
  • Comment/See Results/Other
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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I actually asked THIS question not too long ago! It has more specific details on guy 3! This might help you decide!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Be friends with guy one don't throw that away, guy 2 sounds like an adorable softie consider going after him with a strong move but once you got him relax. Maybe consider his looks a factor like being so hot are women to nervous to approach him? Guy 3, For me dating a friend is a way of dating I suggest that person knows you better than a random stranger, though beware if it doesn't work out can you two go back to being friends? Oh that sounds like a soul mate with destiny. Definitely ask guy 3 how he feels about you, you need to know that for certain which may prevent you from seeking him out instead of the other 2 immediately. Either go out for coffee muster up your courage and ask him or ask via text message. Good luck.

    • Oh coarse! Even though my firendship with guy 1 has faded a bit, I still make the effort of sending a text every so often. He's still a dear friend to me even if we don't talk much and have hardly seen eachother this past half year. Yeah! I've considered that strategy for guy 2 actually! For guy 3, I've tried working up the courage to do that this past week actually! On Wednesday and Thursday we drove and got some Starbucks and sat in his car and chatted. I kept trying to find some way to just up and ask, but I never got the chance. I feel comfortable enough to ask him, I'm just a bit nervous about the answer and what might happen after that. But I'm definitely going to try it!

    • Hopefully it works out

    • Yeah! Hopefully! Thanks for all of the helpful input! ☺️☺️

Most Helpful Girl

  • When it comes to these dilemmas, I often ask myself whether I like a realistic approach or an ideal approach.

    I'd say Guy #3 would be the most ideal to pursue. It helps when you're genuinely comfortable with someone's company instead of focusing on the superficial aspects like looks (as you took notice of Guy #2). The fact that you wrote Guy #3's definition compared to the two other guys implies that you speak so highly of him. 😊

    Realistically speaking, Guy #2 is worth the shot. I mean, some relationships start with curiosity and eventually, attraction. Why am I saying that Guy #2 is more realistic? Because pursuing Guy #3 can break a friendship (if he doesn't feel the same way). If you happen to be the least close with Guy #2, then you can start a whole new friendship and craft your intentions clearer without the need of second-guessing.

    • Very well put Gala-Bae!! This was extremely helpful! I've thought of this and considered it actually! (I think I've thought about every possible outcome HAHA! I think so much!!) but yeah! I've taken that into consideration for sure! I think that in the very least, I should at least attempt getting closer to guy 2 and seeing if I feel comfortable enough to go out on a bit of a limb and leave my comfort zone. Since that's kinda what it is now if you look at it that way. I'm comfortable enough with guy 1 and 3, and don't know a terrible lot about guy 2 simply because I haven't made much of an effort. However, I included him because he's definitely still valid as I AM attracted to him and he definitely seems interested in me too. I think that we could get along quite fine if I just took the time to build a closer relationship with him.

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    • That's what I'm talking about! ❀❀ You two definitely have an empathy link!

      Are you planning to tell him how you feel? It'd be great if you do! 😊

    • Ahaha! I guess I sorta have one of those with guy 3, but I can just say right now that the level of "link" (LOL that sounds weird) is like, level 1 compared to what I had/have (idek I haven't been around him) with guy 1! And guy 1 would probably be like ifk 15 or something! It's some crazy stuff haha.

      I've wanted to try and tell him how I feel though! But I think what I'll try doing instead is asking him how HE feels and depending on the answer, also explaining my curiosity for his answer as important to me since I like him. Soo I guess I'll see which I have the confidence to do first! Ahaha

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • Guy #4 who left this answer on your question on gag who has a cat pic as an avatar and you're compl they smitten with πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

  • My feeling says, guy 3 offers the best long term perspective... with guy 1 as runner up.
    Guy 2 is probably fine as well but there's more work to it since you're not close so who knows if it will still work when you get closer?
    Hopefully you'll soon be happy with one of them :D

    • Yeah, not going to lie, I've gotten similar feelings! Very well put! I've gotta say that I agree with this! And yeah, I've sure got to get a bit closer to guy 2.
      Awe! Thank you very much! ☺️ I sure hope so too!

    • Thumbs up!
      And you can of course simply be in touch with the other two, no need to screw up the bond you have with them and you'll have a plan B and C :D
      Just don't tell them they're plan B and C otherwise you're doomed hahahaha :D

    • Ahahhaha!!! Yes okay πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚βœŒπŸΌοΈ Thanks so much for all the help!

  • 1|0
  • Maybe guy 3... Not sure, I'm not good at this shit XD

  • 1. Gay guy keep him for a very good friend. Problem?
    2. Shy guy might be difficult.
    3. Stay friend with him...
    You are in school now. Someday when, you leave and in few years or so y'all will drift apart and lost in touch. It happened to me and everybody.

    • So you're basically saying to not pursue any of them and just stay put?

    • Its a difficult to answer... Its your choice.

    • Yeah I get what you mean. For sure! I just wanted a bit of assistance in deciding where to go from here since I was just really stuck in what to do.

  • Neither. You're asking strangers online who you should date, that's something that comes from within, not from strangers. So don't choose any of them.

    • Not exactly. I'm pretty good with handeling these types of things and have thought of probably every potential solution at this point, but everything had its pros and cons. I didn't include what I thought because I didn't want my opinions to skew anyone else's. I wanted some of my intellectual friends to confide in and others as well to see what they could make of the situation. I've decided that I have this website, so why not ask for a bit of help when I need it? Ya know? I realize that it "comes from within," but like I just said, everything had some pros and cons so I'm pretty stuck on where to go from here. Also! This has been helpful because there's been a couple of perspectives that I hadn't realized it thought about yet, and some brought up that I've thought about but am more convinced of. If that makes any sense haha

  • Totally not gana read all that.. Il just say "fallow your heart" okay hope that was helpful...

    • Tbh it wasn't πŸ˜… I've tried that and it was unreliable. They all have their pros and cons etc. And normally I'd just figure this kinda personal situation on my own, but I was really stuck this time 😞

  • Probably Guy 2 for you.


What Girls Said 6

  • Wassup, Ebs.

    I'll cut straight to it. I say go for #2. Why not #3? Because I value the hell out of having a good friend, and your #3 seems really special. Romance can easily complicate things. That's why I wouldn't want to risk losing #2.

    Plus, personally, I'm pretty good at getting shy people to open up, so #2 is essentially a challenge I'd love to pursue. My reward for succeeding? A wonderful, open-hearted man.

    • Howdy! Been a while!

      Yeah that's true and a very good point! I've thought about that for sure! Because I really don't want to potentially murk up my relationship with #3, so I have indeed been leaning a bit more towards #2. Thanks so much! This was valuable input! :)

    • Thank you, thank you. I hope it goes well for you.

    • Thanks so much! :)

  • Aw! How nice that you have so many cool guys in your life. I'd say look into two and maybe one. Keep an open mind though.

    • Ahaha! Yeah it's kinda magical! Not gunna lie! This has never happened to me before, and while it's great and all, it's still kinda stressful. But ya know? I go with the flow lol. I'm kinda thinking about that actually. I just need to really work on my bonding with the two of them. And most definitely! That's how I've gotten this far haha

  • Guy 1- Although I know you really fell hard for him if he's 100% gay I'd say it's better to keep him as a friend than wait in the hope he might that he might change his mind.

    Guy 2- It could work out with this one by the sounds of it however I think in this case you'd need to be the one doing the pursuing.

    Guy 3- He sounds like the most promising because you are most comfortable with him and I've always found that to be a good sign. It's difficult because you are best mates and you don't want to destroy that by pursuing something romantic. I'd say maybe try and get some more information just through general conversation. Ask in passing how his dating life is going, then you might get a better idea of how he views you.

    In the end just go with how you feel! I've had situations like this myself, in the end I didn't end up dating any of them haha. You can really feel it when you're sure about someone and no one else even compares to that person when it happens 😊

    • First off! Huge thanks for giving a really in-depth and helpful answer! I really really appreciate it!!

      Guy 1- He's not 100% gay, more like 97%. He's told me that there are extremely rare cases where he'll be attracted to a female. I honestly think that he was attracted to me. I'm rather gifted in reading body language etc. And his body was giving me all the info I needed, but to top THAT off even MORE... He would flirt with me! And not a sort of "accidental" flirting. He knew what he was doing lol. He might finally just come to terms with the fact that he's at least interested in me (or I hope so).

      Guy 2- Yeah that's pretty accurate actually! He's just pretty shy and a bit awkward. I don't have a problem with doing the work. I probably would be much closer with him by now but I wasn't working much in our relationship since I had started liking and becoming closer to guy 3.

      Guy 3- Very true and good point! And yeah, I haven't told him how I feel because I don't want to make

    • things awkward between us. Although! I'm starting to suspect that he might be developing an interest towards me. He's started to slightly change his behavior and he's gotten noticeably more... "Rowdy" I guess haha. Maybe it's because he feels more comfortable in expressing himself and is just opening up more, but I don't know haha.

      Actually! That's what I really wanted to do! But I'm honestly just so torn right now! I don't usually ask for advice on these kinda of personal things, but I really needed it this time since it's really important to me and frankly, I don't have much experience with these things ahaha.

  • It's really not as hard as you're making it. Which one always comes to your mind first? That's the one. But if you have doubts about any of them, are they really doubts, or just excuses because you like one the others better?

    Forget "traditional", or "normal". Forget what others will think, and for the love of all that makes you happy, forget what you parent's will think! Friends and family always want what's best for us, and will notice things that we don't want to see, but parent's have a tendency to shun whatever is not traditional, whatever is new or different.

    You're still so young, you have plenty of time to make mistakes, and have fun before you settle down, so this time, just choose the one you want most, regardless of what you think might be "wrong" with him. Who knows, maybe you're wrong about him ;-)

    by the way, bad boys are ALWAYS "secretly" sensitive. Why do you think they act so tough to begin with? To protect themselves.

    • Well, I guess that lately guy 3 comes to my mind the most. But that's kinda an unfair perspective to look at it from, (although I totally understand where you're coming from and your train of thought here) since me and guy 2 aren't that close and I haven't been around guy 1 in half a year. Hmm.. That's a very good point though! I guess when I really think about it, guy 1 is the answer... But that's partially skewed by the fact that I fell really hard for him from the start. He just seemed like my perfect match and honestly I think it was love. So, I'm thinking that part of the problem is that I was looking for something similar to guy 1. But! I was aware of this and tried my best to not go that way and keep an open mind. So guy 2 is completely different from guy 1 and guy 3 is kinda similar in a way to guy 1.

      Haha! Thanks so much! That's really sweet of you to say and very reassuring! And yeah ahaha! I like when he shows his sensitive side! It's just so cute haha!

  • I picked number 2 I mean he shows interest in you a lot. Plus being shy is only in the beginning I think ones you spend more time together he won't be

    • Yeah! That's a good point. He shows rather obvious interest in me actually haha. And yeah, I think if I got to working on getting to know him more we could become much closer.

    • Yes exactly

  • I don t get it 100%
    Did those guys ask you out bluntly?
    Or younre just drawing conclusions from their act?

    • Hmm well, it's a combination of what they've said to me, how they act, and their body language. It's also on my own personal opinions about them etc and our relationships. I'm just kinda stuck on where to go from here lol

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    • Yup! That's very true! Thanks for your input! :)

    • Waste**&

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