Is overuse of social media a turn-off?

Hi,

A girl I'm dating is everything I want in a woman.

The only thing is, on Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram, she is quite the poster. Mostly of herself and there has been quite a bit of skin showing in a number of photos.. Like she wants guys to look.

I'm not looking for a one night stand, I'm looking for a respectable relationship. As is she, but I'm worried if we can't agree on a middle ground here, her and I can't work out..

While she posts a lot on social media, uses it as a necessity and has 1800 facebook friends...
I have under 400, never take myself seriously on any platform and don't even have instagram.

^^We could not be any more opposite in that regard.

So, as per the poll:
Is it a turn off for your partner to post a lot of pictures to gain attention? Or not?

And how do I tell her to tone the "craving attention" side of it down a bit?

I feel like I'm almost on the edge of being "controlling", which is not what I want to be. I want someone with self-respect on social media...

... 🙁

Tl;dr - Girl I'm dating posts lots of photos, I'm scared she values social media too much, when I am the complete opposite. Will it work out? How can I fix things?

  • Yep, I can't stand attention cravers.
    94%(15)96%(23)Vote100%(8)
  • No, you're overthinking it/being controlling
    6%(1)4%(1)Vote0%(0)
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Is it the volume she posts or the skin shots that irk you most?

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    • It would be more the skin shots. She has become more confident in her body recently, so, yeah..

      And she has no filter in what others tag her in, so she just keeps it all on her profile.

    • I don't think its controlling behaviour to share your concerns with her, afterall, she's dating you and not her SM.
      Too often people like to appear single online whilst in a relationship & if she's believing her own hype, then it will only get worse unless you say it makes you feel uncomfortable.
      I think people compete too much on SM & those accounts with huge followings often have a lot of skin shots or even naked shots. Even everyday girls without famous parents or another media platform, are using Instagram to get "famous" by posting pix in their underwear or swimwear. Hence the term Instagram Models. And then there is the sliding into the DMs to consider.
      Its reasonable that there are boundaries set between you about what you share of your relationship as well as what she shares about herself. She can untag herself from Insta photos or stop anyone tagging her.
      Explain that not all of her posts are Kryptonite but a little moderation goes a long wth you.

    • Alright yeah that sounds like the way to go!! Thank you!!

What Girls Said 3

  • Personally, I dont like guys who post a lot of pics online. And something else that bothers me is when a guy on a dating site has ALL his other social media sites listed on his page. Thats to much for me. I avoid men like that, not my type.

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    • Yes! Exactly, it's like an invitation to have a perve, or an invitation to do much more with him. You're right to avoid those guys!

  • One of the reasons I don't have any social media accounts is this - almost all people on there are starving for attention... and I don't want nor need that in my life.

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    • Exactly!
      That's why I keep anything serious and attention seeking to a minimum. I genuinely can't be bothered using social media as a "look at me" method..

  • She could create a lot of drama for you, as she seems to like the attention... 🤔

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well see it can work, but I think you might be thinking about it a little to hard. see if a girl wants attention she'll post a pic (as long as it's not a nude of course) than you will be fine. Let her do her own thing, and if you think you can't date her than its your loss.

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    • That's the thing, though. She'll have me to give her the attention.. Shouldn't that be enough?

      Ah well, I'll let it slide for a bit, I guess..

    • Show All
    • Go for it and see how it goes, also don't be to controlling girls in general don't like that.

    • I'm avoiding controlling at all costs..

  • YES... unless it's a job

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    • I wouldn't be dating her if it's a job 😅

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