Should I tell him about my history with cutting and depression?

I've suffered from severe depression since I was a little girl because of stuff that happened to me when I was little. (I'd prefer to not say here). And I ended up being put n foster care for a while and finally got adopted when I was 13, I'm currently 17 now. Well I still suffer from depression and have cut for many years, and about a year and a half ago I attempted suicide by slitting my wrist. My mom ended up finding me in the bathtub and rushed me to the hospital and I got released after awhile. Because of this I've been homeschooled almost my whole life. And this year was the first year I was able to attend school as a junior. And I ended up falling for this boy in my year. He's really cute and we've hung out a lot and he's even taken me on my first date and is kinda like my first boyfriend. I really really like him and we've gotten serious about each other in the last month or so. And I think soon we'll probably progress n2 being more intimate together. But the problem is as I've already said I have a history with cutting and the suicide attempt. So I have scars on my arms and legs. Particularly from trying to slit my wrist. I normally wear lots of bracelets or something to cover them up. So I've kept them hidden and the students don't know about it. But because of how I feel about him and that we've started getting more intimate together and I think we'll end up having sex soon I want him to know about it so he isn't just blindsided about it. But I'm scared of how he'll react and how to honestly tell him. I haven't hurt myself since I tried that but I know it would still worry some people and I don't wanna make him worry about me. But I think it's something he needs to know about me


Most Helpful Guy

  • he for sure deserves to know! and if he cares for you like I know he does, he will be so grateful that you opened up to him.

    talking about you're experiences will really bring you two closer together and allow you two to be able to support one another.

    the best way to go about it is to sit him down and talk about your past and to slowly share whatever you're comfortable telling him. once you start I know it'll get easier and easier!

    I really wish you two the best of luck and know that by telling him you'll gain a strong ally to provide you unconditional love and support :)

    • you don't think he'll b creeped out by the cuts do u?

    • definitely not! if my love told me something like that my first reaction would be to hold her and show her that I understand and am here to support her 100%!

    • seeing your emotions and your honesty should do nothing but bring you two closer together.
      it's healthy to rely on and be a primary source of social support for one another in a relationship.

Most Helpful Girl

  • probably you should wait till you are sure that he is with you because of the person who you are

    • we've been together since the beginning of the school year

    • This is my opinion you have to decide what is the best for you

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What Guys Said 1

  • "he's even taken me on my first date and is kinda like my first boyfriend." He IS your first boyfriend and it's okay to say that.

    Tell him. Tell him that you need to talk. Explain about your past. Intimacy is not just about sex. It is about sharing your secrets and fears, your heartaches and your dreams. If you want a relationship and not just a sexual experience, tell him.

    • I'm ok with if we end up having sex and that becomes part of our relationship. I'm just not sure how to tell him about the cuts and me trying to kill myself before

    • Show All
    • I think the best way is to say as you know my past wasn't the easiest (because of X, Y and Z) and he will offer you support and you can share details about your struggles. Then when the moment is right and he's showing you lots of support you could show him your wrists and tell him how you've gotten a lot better but really wanted him to know because he means the world to you :)

    • I'll try

What Girls Said 1

  • Oh damn, please don't. That might scare him away.

    • he's going to find out eventually. it's not like I can hide them forever

    • Show All
    • Why are you scared? I mean, if you're certain that he cares about you and respects you, what stops you?

    • Because I've never told anyone before. I've never had a boyfriend or someone who I care this much about, and I don't know how to tell anyone what happened and about me hurting myself

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