Do opposites actually attract?

i was introduced to this guy online, we've been talking for a while and so far from what i can tell he seems like the really outgoing type of guy. He parties a lot and his idea of fun seems like social events where there's drinking involved. For me, I'm pretty shy, never been the outgoing one with a big group of friends. I never go to parties due to my parent's restrictions. Would we work together? we haven't even met in person yet so i'm pretty worried it's gonna be awkward and weird


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From a relationship coaches lens, I do believe that opposites attract initially but don't end up working out in the long run. It's easy to have good initial conversation, banter, flirtation, chemistry, etc. but when a couple stays together and begins experiencing day-to-day life and the problems that are thrown at them, things get painful. Why? Because when we get right down to it, we're not talking about opposites in terms of musical preferences or food likes. Instead, it's about opposite temperaments, opposite views on life and politics and religions--all things that shape how we think, converse, response to challenges, etc.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have never ever been attracted to someone who was the complete opposite of me. I prefer dating people similar to me. It makes me feel more comfortable and it terrifies me less. I wish I would be able to date the guy version of myself.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • its really a type of thing, are you introverted because that is you as a character, or because of restrictions? If its the latter it would probably be fine, if its the first then no it won't. I like to do things the smart way (even though im not smart), so I'm attracted to intelligent girls, so opposites attract in a sense but you guys need to share common ground

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  • I'd say yes and it worked for me that far unless the opposites are not too grave.
    If you are all the same you are ending up clinching together 24/7 and this might get a bit too much over time

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  • I think yes.
    Not most of the time. but opposites attracts.
    Sometime some people come in our life who are completely opposite than us. But still we like them. Just becuase they taking us out from our confort zone and much. Things be new and adventurers.

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  • In some ways it is true but overall it's about how well you mesh
    I'm not very outgoing and I've had exs that were and sometimes I would get very annoyed when we would go places and they would run into people they knew because one it can sometimes feel like you're not even there and two it can get old really quick when they talk to them for around an hour.

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  • Chips and coke
    Salt and sweet
    P and j sandwichs

    You betcha but to a certain extent. They should be opposites NOT different if that makes sense

    Such as sweet and salty is opposites but sour and sweet is not. Thats just random shit

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    • Lol, are you hungry? All food analogies ☺ and, hey... sweet and sour chicken/pork works out kinda well.

    • @HaveQuestions yea sweet and sour does work well BUT not without spicy and salty lol to balance it out

      Yes im hungry hahaa always. Why you busting down my door lol you get what I mean right?

    • Just giving you shit, lmao. Yes, I got what you meant. Now go eat before you get hangry 😝 thanks to you, I'm now craving chips and coke...

  • According to psychology no

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  • They can but it isn't a rule. Any relationship can work if you have 2 people willing to work things out.

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  • In some cases yes in some cases no there really isn't a defiant answer for it.

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  • Yes, all protons are attracted to electrons.

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  • In physics yes in relationships no

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  • Sometimes, but not complete opposite
    Like there's this one time with this girl and

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  • it depends.

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  • Somethings yes, but for the most part, no

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What Girls Said 12

  • True opposites will likely fail spectacularly. If it is true opposites, there is no meeting in the middle, and your qualities will eventually become divides in how to live your lives that most likely neither of you will really be able to change.

    Now that I said that, though. It's is complimentary partners that last. When one is more outgoing, theyes can draw out their partner and help expand their world, have new experiences, all that, as long as they are also willing to try some of the more introverted stuff that the other partner may like. Movie marathons on the couch, etc.

    It's abiut being compatible, and complimentary. Not identical, that'll drive you fucking nuts too. And not opposite.

    Best way to find out? Try it. Meet him. Explore it. Express your needs, listen to his. You'll never know if you'll be able to find middle ground and be compatible until you try it. Worst thing that could happen? You learn.

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    • Apologies for all the typos, lmao. Autocorrect and I are apparently having a battle of wills

  • "Opposites attract" is substantially true. It's also substantially false.
    Because...
    Given any 2 random people on planet earth, you will ALWAYS be able to cherry-pick enough traits to argue that they're "alike", and you will ALSO ALWAYS be able to cherry-pick enough traits to argue that they're "opposites".

    Literally ANY two people. Try it yourself!
    Pick 2 people you know. Construct an argument that they're "like each other". Now construct an argument that they're "unlike each other".
    You'll NEVER have ANY trouble doing either of these (... provided you know them both more than passingly).

    In this way, "opposites attract" -- and other, similar banalities with which anyone could agree or disagree at will -- is just like a horoscope.
    Horoscopes are conveniently ambiguous, and their writers are VERY good at writing broad generalities that... don't sound like broad generalities.
    So, ALL horoscopes will ALWAYS contain enough "true" items to placate people who like to believe in horoscopes.
    ALL horoscopes will ALSO always contain enough "false" items to placate people who like to "disprove" them.
    (A lot of the time, the "true" and "false" items don't even have to be different items... because the individual items themselves are just *that* ambiguous.)

    __

    You get the REAL purpose of these kinds of cutesy statements, right? Actually purposes, plural -- 2 of them.

    1)
    These kinds of things BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER, and HELP START CONVERSATIONS... and, by so doing, they foster NEW RELATIONSHIPS.
    In other words... They're "ice-breakers".
    Statements like "opposites attract" are spectacularly good conversation starters, because EVERYONE can ALWAYS (to some extent) agree with them (and no one needs any special knowledge to do so) -- so, thereby, everyone can start to FIND COMMON GROUND with one another.
    "Common ground" is step #1 to building ANY new social bond, be it a friendship, a romantic rl, or a business contact. **Incredibly** important... and lots of people just aren't that great at starting conversations. So... that's what statements like these are for.
    (They also get people to open up -- because, inevitably, tons of people will have funny personal stories to tell about their "opposites" or their "twins". And, really, how many people can completely resist talking about themselves?)

    And

    2)
    Another thing these statements have in common with horoscopes: They help people make apparent sense of the world -- especially at times when everything seems

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    • confusing, counterintuitive, unfair, or just plain weird.

      Astrology/horoscopes can help people bounce back from failure, tragedy, or heartbreak -- if they're inclined to believe in those things -- by fostering the idea that "everything happens for a reason" even if that reason is the cosmos itself.

      Similarly, statements like "opposites attract" -- for which can be found evidence in ANY relationship AT ALL -- can also help people rationalize the stuff that happens in their lives and/or the lives of their loved ones.

      In either case, even if you think the "justification" is bullshit... Helping people emotionally come to grips with things is definitely for the better.

  • Opposites can attract and I've heard people say they do but for me personally I don't think so. If I was with someone the opposite of me I'd just get annoyed

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  • I think you should be a bit opposite, but not complete polar opposites... he should be able to make u do stuff outside your comfort zone but not be completely different

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  • Well you could work out, but if he likes to go out a lot and you don't then there will have to be compromise... don't worry about it just go with the flow.

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  • You don't really know unless you wait it out a bit longer. Really, it can go either way. If you're similar in other ways, yes. If not, conflicts somewhere down the line are very possible.

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  • There should be some common things so that you guys have conversation materials, but sure it could work out.

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  • Yes... They do

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  • It won't work. He sounds like a pot smoker.

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  • Sometimes

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  • At times, yes.

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  • Not ugly and attractive

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