He doesn't want to commit, but I have to see him twice a week. How do I do this?

I recently had the talk with this guy I've been dating for over a month now and he said that he wants to give me a lot, but he can't give me a relationship right now (and then he went on about why not).

I felt like he was trying to convince me to go on dating him on his terms, but that's not gonna happen. The way I see it, if he can't give me what I want, there's no point in continuing. The problem is we take the same classes and I have to see him at least twice a week.

I know I don't want to treat him badly, I also know I don't want to pretend like nothing happened. I know it's unlikely that he'll change his mind, but I don't want to shut the door and lock it too just yet, because right now I'm like: if you don't want a relationship we're done, but if you change your mind I might try again. How does one go about showing this through one's actions/behaviour?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think trying to show him through your actions/behaviour leaves too much open for misinterpretation. There's no substitute for face to face verbal communication and if he won't meet you half way then you said it yourself "if you don't want a relationship we're done". That sounds pretty clear to me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am assuming that you have told him that it's over and done, but if he change his mind you may attempt a relationship again. If not, tell him, guys don't always pick up subtle things, so let him know clearly to prevent any misunderstandings.

    Now that he knows, in class, don't seek him out, if you happen to cross paths with him, say Hi, be polite. Essentially, you are moving on (because it's ended), so you don't treat him as if he's any different from any other acquaintance, you don't seek out a seat next to him in class, but if he changes his mind, he can seek you out since he knows you're not pissed off at him because you've been polite.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Tell him to let you know when he's ready for a relationship otherwise you don't want him its that simple. he's using you. I hate saying this.

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  • End it on your terms. If he decides to accept them, he'll tell you.

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  • Why do you want him to commit after only a month of dating? Sounds pretty pushy.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well, I think you already know what you are doing, and you don't need our advice as you seem smart enough.
    Honestly, you don't deserve to be treated that way, and to me, this screams "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS" and I think that's what he is looking for.

    Be careful there, try to distance yourself, and see what happens, at the same time tease him a little ;) while you are in class, it always works, and if he is into you he will definitely run after you.

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