Should I give him a second chance?

Dated for 4 months. Broke up mutually. I had to cut contact though and wished him well. He was not set in life and had too many issues with drugs and partying.
This is whats happening:

1 month after no contact:
•his added my sister on facebook
•chatted to her and asked about me
•i asked him to meet up but he said no
•asked him to be friends he said no

4 months after no contact:
•i took him off my socials because i was dating another guy.
•he contacts my best friend and asks to have coffee with her, asks all about me

8 months no contact:
•i bump into him he is frozen where my feelings are gone so im fine
•Told him best wishes and that my still dating

Present Day:
•He bumped into my mum saying how much his changed himself
•his asking if im still dating that guy
• asked her if im still at the same work and doing the same things
• misses her cooking and complimented her hair
• told her he had no valentine on valentines day
•told her his been dating
• i also bumped into him and he was being really flirty, i wasn't and cut the convo short.

Does he want a second chance? Should i give him one?

  • Yes
    25%(1)38%(3)Vote50%(2)
  • No
    75%(3)62%(5)Vote50%(2)
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't give him a second chance and see if he learns his lesson

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    • I do genuinely miss him. But his ways when we dated were so toxic it was damaging my well being. Finding out that his possibly changed his ways has made me curious.

      So you think i should not give him a second chance?

What Guys Said 1

  • From a relationship coaches perspective, some thoughts and questions for you:

    1) Why would you give him a second chance? Meaning, what is it that you really liked about him that makes him worthy of giving him that second chance?

    2) When you were dating other people, was he on your mind? Meaning, did you genuinely miss him?

    3) If you give him a second chance, how short or long or a rope does he have? I ask this because I'm trying to understand if it's a thin line.

    Bottom line is, if you truly cared about him and his big hang-up was irresponsible behavior and he demonstrates that he's changed that, AND you genuinely miss other aspects of him than sure, give him another chance. But have your guard up.

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    • This is awesome. Quick question, do you feel like he is being this persistent with making such contact because he wants a second chance?

      Why i ask this is because i have not done the same to him. I haven't asked his mates about him, i haven't tried to bump into him and i am the one that thought it was best to move forward.

      Do you think he is wanting me to reach out?

    • Show All
    • But why do you think he needs this validation? If i reach out and he doesn't respond it won't totally bother me. I think what does bother me is that he keeps re-appearing and im trying to move on.

    • He needs the validation because he knows he screwed up the first time around so he's trying to repair his image with you and the validation of people close to you and then to you is important for his self-esteem. You say you're 'trying' to move on and I believe that you are but why would him continually coming around prevent or hinder you from moving on?

What Girls Said 1

  • Has he sorted out all the issues he has when you both initially broke up? If not, the same thing may just happen again. It does sound like he wants a second chance but I think you need to make sure the issues that were there before have been sorted before you think about giving him another chance.

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    • So do you think i need to contact him now and ask to hang out?

    • Not unless he has his issues sorted it out. It's just going to be history repeating itself if he doesn't.

    • But i need to reach out to make him stop passing info right? I feel like he won't fade away

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