It didn't work out with this guy and now I don't find anyone as great as him. What happened?

I've never been like this before. I've dated plenty of guys but a relationship never worked out. I got used to it so bouncing to the next guy wasn't really hard for me. Then I met my last fwbs and no one compares to him. From the first day we met we just clicked. There was no awkwardness, it was always fun, I didn't care about being myself around him. I could go on and on. I never felt or thought anything negative when I was with him. I'd already be in a good mood and he'd lift it up even higher.

Of course he wasn't looking for a relationship. He said before he kind of wanted to with me because he hadn't expected to like me so much and he felt the same way I did. Still he thought it was the wrong time and things just fizzled out.

Guys have approached me and I've talked to a few but it's all boring now. No one is exciting anymore. I hate the first meeting awkwardness now that I know it doesn't have to be a thing. If I don't feel comfortable being myself around someone in the beginning I'm over it in a heart beat. If I don't get excited to see them every time I'm not gonna continue with it.

I'm at the point where I don't want to date anyone at all because I feel like I'm not being fair. I don't know what happened but it's really getting me down.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • What happened is you found a great guy and you clicked. Doing friends with benefits is foolish if you know you are into the guy. It doesn't work very well for the reasons you describe. Did the guy say when the right time would be? If not, you have learned a huge lesson. You will change if you allow some time to pass. You are mourning a loss, even though you never had him. It's a loss to you. It takes time to get past that. You will meet other men you like when you are past comparing them to him. That will come with time. I wish you the best in getting over this.

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    • I never intended to like this much. I wasn't looking for anything serious in the beginning and he wasn't either. Ugh

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    • Yeah we still talk but we don't see each other much. He lives 30 mins away, across the border

    • It's good that you still talk. That keeps you in his mind. Don't wait for it to happen though because it might not. He may be doing the right thing for both of you if he knows he's not ready for a committed relationship even if he wants to have one.

Most Helpful Girl

  • sounds like he has another girl. did you ever have sex with him or refuse his advance towards having sex with him? did he say why he was opposed to a relationship with you?

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What Guys Said 3

  • Yeah, it is tough I know how it feels once you meet someone you can be completely yourself around. It is probably best if you just do your best to do away with pride and be yourself around people. I know it is hard but if you keep suppressing yourself around people it's going to wear you out like it has. I think the reason you haven't connected with someone after is because you haven't truly been yourself. Don't be afraid, that right person will resonate with you. hang in there.

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    • I'm usually myself around friends and coworkers. Around guys it's different, because my weirdness has scared some off haha. But I get what you're saying.

    • I know it is easier said than done, no one wants to get rejected for who they are. we all want to find someone who we can be ourselves around. You just have to just hang out with more weird guys haha.

  • You'll get over him and meet another guy. It's not the end of the world. You're comparing him to everyone with those rose pedal glasses. You're only seeing his positive traits because that's what you miss. Stop comparing everyone to him would be a good starting point.

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    • Yeah I know. This was the first guy I've ever felt this way before, that's why I'm upset

    • Lol it sucks dude, I know. You'll get over it though. You're sexually active and putting yourself out there which is a good thing.

  • you loved him, get over him first. Heal first

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