Are guys supposed to approach girls?

  • Yes, they are
    Vote A
  • No, they're not
    Vote B
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|0
2055

Most Helpful Girl

  • I tried approaching guys I like just to not miss any opportunity that may have turned something great. Whenever I approached, and showed my interest, they treated me like an easy lay even though I didn't get laid with them so quickly or early as "sex is for someone you love and you're in a relationship with, not for one night stands" for me. So i think guys think women who are strong and know what they want and go for it are kind of intimidating, or turn off, or easy lay sluts, and so they dont want relationships with them. But i still cannot refrain myself from approaching guys to show my interest in a friendly cute way, not really slutty way as I was never a slut anyways.

    2|5
    1|0
    • I like your style..

    • Show All
    • @ovixs90 I am not Christian, in fact, I am not religious, so church is a no-no for me. I did this back in college, and I am a very selective person. Not to sound arrogant, I am not into all-looks-and muscles girl. I checked the school, major, how hardworking he is, how strong ethics he has (because I dont like cheaters or copiers of homework etc.) average looking, kind, respectful, and not curses. That's enough. Then I invite them out for coffee, or studying together and try to do things with them... Not happening. They always find someone who studies exercise science, and dances around poles, and sleeps with 5 people in a month. Maybe that was because of the age (18-23). But now I am almost 29, and I have a good job, I find myself average looking as Im not apparently Behati Prinsloo, but I am self-confident and have self esteem. I met a guy and dated for four months, I initiated etc. And I told i wanna get to know him better. He got scared, and he went to find 21 year old (he is 29)

    • @somewheresomeway
      True. That explains a lot

Most Helpful Guy

  • I mean, there's no law that forces you to do so, but if you're a guy and you wanna get some, then yeah, go with the mindset that you have to approach, because you're not often gonna be approached.
    Girls rarely will approach you when they have to talk, meaning in the street, coffee shop, lounge... they will be more prone to approaching in places like clubs, when you're dancing and they just get close to you so you can dance together. They don't have to talk, so it avoids them being embarrassed if they're rejected. Also, they probably have some drinks in them that makes them a little bit bolder.

    In the end, most women do want to approach guys, because most aren't conceited bitches who think it's not their job to do that. Problem is, they're too scared to approach. You gotta keep in mind that women care way too much what others think about them, so they wanna avoid being in a situation that may embarrass them.

    0|4
    0|0
    • That is correct. Though because of this, many women also know that men won't reject them, and that makes some women more initiative or dominate. They're either more dominant or more submissive than the average man.

    • Thanks for the MHO

    • 👍🏽👍🏽👌🏽

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 19

  • My opinion is, whoever wants to approach should do it. Whether you're a guy or girl, I always say "if you choose not to make the move, then you have no one to blame but yourself when nothing happens."

    I'm not a fan of sitting around waiting for someone to come to me. It's better to be proactive.

    5|4
    0|0
    • Would you consider yourself a shy girl, or more outgoing?

    • Show All
    • Amen to that quote girl

    • Agreed. I was always the one to initiate a relationship but I really didn't do the cold approach thing either. I have to know someone a bit before I even want more.

  • Both genders should be approaching each other.

    My girl friends are always going on about equality, but they still refuse to make the first move. That's hypocritical.

    2|17
    1|0
  • I'd like to say no, it should be whoever is interested.
    However, I recognize that as a female, it's easy for me to say as men are still largely the ones who pursue relationships.

    So no, but if you don't, be prepared for a really long time of possible solitude as it's still uncommon for women to ask men out.

    1|7
    0|0
  • I prefer when guys approach me, but I can also approach. There shouldn't be a rule about it. You like someone? Go and tell them.

    1|7
    0|0
  • Yes. We're too chicken to approach them

    3|3
    1|0
  • I prefer when guys approach me. I will not approach a guy first.

    2|2
    1|3
    • Why? That's stupid. Let me guess if the guy you like doesn't ask you out you lose interest in him.

    • Show All
    • He is right, it is not about gender role anymore, it is about fighting for what you want. With that kind of personality, you will not succeed in life if you expect everything should be handed to you with no effort.

    • Really? Who are you to tell me whether I will succeed or not? I am for gender roles to a certain extent. Now kindly fuck off as I block you.

  • I think it's being brave and showing respect when a guy asks a girl out in person. You may be turned down, but that just shows that they don't see that you're so worth it. Girls can ask a guy out, but as a girl I think it's kinda scary since in most fairy tales the prince goes to the princess.

    3|1
    1|7
  • not supposed to but i think they have a lot more pressure to do so. I'm not afraid to approach a guy I'm interested in but a lot of them dont seem to like it lol

    0|1
    1|0
  • i can start a conversation with a guy if i want to, i approached to my boyfriend when i first met him, but... then i let him take the lead, i want him to chase me.. i want him to text me first, ask me out.. i would never do that..

    0|0
    0|2
  • I don't think they are supposed to approach girls per we, but it seems the have better results if they do. So unless they are willing to settle for what they get they have to approach. B

    0|0
    1|0
  • yah we kind of used to it and it feels good and i think they look a lot cooler that way

    1|0
    1|1
  • Supposed? Yes.

    1|1
    0|4
  • How do you get guys to approach you?

    0|0
    1|0
  • I've tried approaching guys a lot, but it always fails. It really ticks me off, but I've come to realize most men are primitive and prefer the old ways of pursual and are turned off by girls who approach. I mean I love when a guy hits on me, rare as it is, but I really wish it wasn't so hard to ask a guy out without getting dirty looks and constant rejection. So I have made myself a promise to only go out with a guy I like who pursues/confesses to me. It's hard, but I try and make him see me well when I see a guy I want.

    0|0
    0|9
    • Hate to say it, but I feel the same; maybe I'm just doing it wrong, but when I finally muster up the guts to approach a guy, it often ends pretty awkwardly. And no guys ask me out (the ones who do are my guy friends who are gay), so...

    • Show All
    • I said an attractive girl, not a pawn.

    • @applesandoranges22 I agree, I wouldn't call all guys dumb, but I will definitely call them complex, just as complex as girls.

  • Suppose to? No, I suppose not. They could sit there and wait to be approached but they have far less of a chance of that happening... as long as they get that and are okay with that then wait... why not.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Yes, but girls should also approach guys too. Low key can't stand when girls insist guys make the first move and then complain when they don't.. if you want something put on your big girl pants and go for it.

    0|9
    0|0
  • I don't think they're SUPPOSED to do this, it's just what most girls expect because the guys are the ones who generally do this, and you already know why

    I just don't approach guys because I'm shy af but I acknowledge if I was a guy I would've overcome my shyness several years ago or I'd have to wait for girls to approach me and... you know

    0|4
    1|0
    • So wait, do you not approach girls either?

    • Show All
    • "and you already know why"... hmm why?

    • @blazerock44 Tradition. Due to some differences between men and women men are traditionally expected to be more active and the conquerors and women more passive and the ones to be conquered. I'm not saying they have to be like this though. I'm not even saying I like this.

  • Politely and appropriately, yes. And women can approach potential partners as well. It's 2017.

    0|1
    0|0
  • There's no law saying you have to. But good luck finding girls who will ask YOU out.

    0|5
    0|1
    • You got it! Spot on!

    • No luck. I've been shy all my life and all of my girlfriends but one asked me out first high school college and after. The only time I asked a girl out was through using liquid courage

What Guys Said 54

  • Guys approach girls. It has been that way forever and don't see it changing anytime soon.

    3|1
    0|7
    • Not always the case. I've had good luck getting girls to approach me. I ignore them and they come to me most girls are used to guys throwing themselves at them.

    • Show All
    • @somewheresomeway sorry forgot to tag ya!

    • its not necessarily women calling themselves "feminists" but it's a small, but very loud and very twisted group activists that have influenced Hollywood, public education and the media that are making men ashamed of their masculinity.

      I grew up in the late PC 90s where this crap was really starting to take hold. Back then I think men didn't realize how serious of a threat feminism was to male/female relationships. Many guys thought being ashamed of being a mans man was "progressive". Nowadays there is a great divide. Some millennial male betas are completely brainwashed into thinking being "pro feminist" will help them get laid because it's what women "say" they want. On the flip side other guys (and girls) are recognizing feminism for what it is really is: a hate group. We are now seeing all these pansy guys that women DONT want.

      This is coming from a recovering "sensitive" guy by the way. For last 10 years I feel like I'm questioning all the bs taught to me earlier in life.

  • Supposed to?

    No, men are not supposed to approach women if they don't want to. A guy doesn't have to do anything if they don't want too.

    Why only men? Even women don't have to do anything if they don't want too. It goes both ways.

    Yes, however I would say, it is still expected ( even in today's world) that men take the first step and ask a woman out, but then that is just an expectation of society and peers etc, but individually and subjectively speaking it's still upto the guy if he wants to approach a woman or not, he doesn't have to do it if he doesn't want too.

    0|4
    0|0
  • No one's supposed to do shit. That's like saying women are supposed to just sit there and keep their mouths shut because they're women. Its sexist and I can't imagine women being the first to endorse sexism. The fact is though, women have this idea stuck in their collective minds so they'll use that as an excuse for sitting on their asses. Sure, some of them will try to approach once or twice but as soon as they're rejected they'll throw their hands up in the air and say "see, this is what happens when women approach guys" and then they never try again.

    This all being said, fact is, just like anything in life, if you want something you gotta go out and get it yourself. No ones gonna hand you shit, whether that be a job, a house, or a woman. Guys aren't "supposed" to approach but you'll be waiting a long ass time for a woman to approach you. Go out and get what you want.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Women inherently assume we're creeps. So why should we?

    1|5
    0|0
  • I don't think there should be a "way" or rules for dating. If there's one thing on this Earth that is unstable, uncontrollable, unpredictable, and absolutely unique to everyone it is love. So if you want it, regardless of gender, you better go for it.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Definitely, 100% of the time no exceptions.
    Men are meant to approach the woman, ask her out, pay for her, constantly give gifts to show affection, ask her hand in marriage, provide for her and die and leave all the money you earned over the years.
    Cause men are men. Women deserve more for being born female

    0|2
    1|0
  • It really should be the girls as entering into a relationship/hooking up, "Usually" comes down to her saying yes or no.

    I personally got so feed up with the mixed/vague signals women give and started only seeing aggressive girls that come onto me.

    In the past you really only dated people you meet face to face/people you know, so girls could be pickier and wait for the guy to ask.

    In today's world, with all the online/dating apps it's easy to find someone new so girls can't sit by and wait. Younger women are also more inclined to date older men than young guys older women, along with the fact that there are more females than males in the USA, guys have a bigger selection.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It is the social convention that the male is supposed to approach the female.
    This has worked reasonably well for tens of thousands of years.
    Feminists, however, have extended their misanthropic hatred to the very idea that any form of heterosexual mating might occur.
    I point to a law that was introduced in Nottinghamshire, England, last year, which made it a crime to approach a woman, if the woman decided (after the event) that she did not enjoy the way that she was approached.
    See:
    www.theguardian.com/.../nottinghamshire-police-count-wolf-whistling-hate-crime
    The pretext upon which the law was introduced was that it was supposed to discourage whistling and cat calling. The reality was that the legislation was worded so broadly that any form of approach that displeased the female became a crime.
    So, for the simple act of saying hello to a woman, or asking a girl on a date, men in Nottinghamshire can be charged with an Orwellian thought crime and face time in prison.
    The man does not even have to speak to the woman. She can decide that she did not like the way that he looked in her direction. The male gaze, therefore, becomes a hate crime.
    You can be certain that this is a beta test for a law that the Feminist sisterhood will seek to have rolled out throughout the Western world.
    The effect (and intent) will be that any attempt to initiate a heterosexual relationship will become a criminal act.
    When this happens, it will become a rarity for any woman to be approached by any man. If a woman approaches a man, she will likely be rejected, because the man will have in the back of his mind the knowledge that she might be a Feminist who wants to set him up for a hate crime charge, or a false rape allegation.

    0|0
    0|0
  • So many entitled princesses :o

    No thanks. I don't want a princess.
    My opinion? Nobody is supposed to do anything. Just do your thing.

    0|2
    0|0
    • Also if I do not get approached, then it's their loss, not mine.
      I will approach when I want to. I expect the same from the opposite sex. If it doesn't happen, then it wasn't worth to begin with.

  • Girls don't approach guys because they don't NEED to. Guys approach them anyway, so why would they bother doing the approaching?

    0|1
    0|0
  • Well girls sure as hell won't approach guys. They rather sit back, wait and give impossible "clues" that she is interested in said guy. If the guy doesn't pick up on these "clues" he's clueless ( pun intended.) never really liked her, or any asshole. Blah blah blah blah. Because it a mans job to know if you're interested or just being friendly

    0|2
    0|0
    • Yeah. That is so fucked up in my opinion. How are we supposed to know that they wanted us to ask them out if all they'll do is stare at us?

    • Show All
    • You have just now explained why you have full control over whether or not you fall into the friend zone.

    • Yep! Just telling it like it is. Rather than complaining about girls signals, I'd rather go talk to women and find out where it goes.

  • It's the most likely to happen but no, there's no "should". Men have no obligation to even date to begin with, same with women.

    0|2
    0|0
  • I won't stand for ANYBODY setting the rules in this case. "That's the way it's always been"? Yeah, right... a hundred and sixty years ago, that's what a lot of people said about slavery. Four hundred years ago, that's what people said about the divine right of kings. Whatever your insecurities as a human being might be, don't unload them on me. The world's not that small anymore, and you shouldn't be, either.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Guys don't have to do anything they don't want to do.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I think by the time i hit 30, feminism will make the next generation of feminazis realize why they are single and start approaching guys. I say this because its already happening to me where i get women in their 30s showing their sexual interest in me.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Well, nobody is supposed to approach and at the same time everyone is supposed to approach. It's not only for guys.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sure. If he wants to get laid. LOL

    1|2
    0|0
  • I know guys are supposed to approach but signals like eye contact isn't going to make me get up and talk to you. lol I don't understand tbh like compliment my eyes or shirt something, be a bitch so something can happen geez. I know men have to pop it off with confidence but come on b

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think the guy is SUPPOSED to. If a girl is interested in a guy, she should approach him herself instead of waiting for him to

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yes, if a guy wants a girl he shouldn't be sitting around waiting for a girl to approach HIM!

    1|1
    0|1
    • The problem is, too many women in my age range think it's "creepy" when a guy approaches them, yet, they don't approach guys either.

  • these days, most girls still expect it. just expect that you might get it thrown back in your face when you do.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Oh, well this question is only asked every 15 seconds

    0|0
    0|1
  • No but women are cowards who are too afraid to approach men so they just whine about how men are too afraid to approach women. Of course, not every woman is a coward but a whole lot of them are.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Traditionally, yes. But now anyone can approach anyone

    1|1
    0|0
  • Well if you find a girl who approaches you then she is a keeper but they usually don't

    0|2
    0|0
  • no 😡 its against the law

    0|2
    0|0
  • It really doesn't matter. When I set my eyes on my first love for the first time, she approached me. She hugged me before I could even say hello! I didn't even vote.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I want to say No - but it does somehow take away the magic. There's a reason Veronica is more popular and desirable compared to Betty.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Approaching isn't a gender specific duty or obligation. If you're attracted to someone, go for it instead of being a dummy.

    0|1
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    24
Loading...