I refuse to settle for less and I've been single for a few years. Am I doing this wrong?

I had a boyfriend in h. s. but I was pressured into that. I refused to do that again and I was single until I was 20. I just didn't meet anyone I wanted to commit my time to. I dates a man for a few months before I turned 21, and he was my first, but I refused to call him my boyfriend because was a liar. I eventually got rid of him for good.
I've had a few guys I've dated after him but still, didn't find anyone I wanted. I'm dating someone now who I think is absolutely great but he doesn't want a relationship right now. I'm getting ready to disappear on him because I don't feel like waiting for someone to be ready; that would be settling.

I just don't like anybody. Many times I'll catch someone in a lie or they're just boring and I'm over it. I like this one guy, and he says he likes me, doesn't want me to go, but I'm not waiting on anyone nor am I letting anyone use me. With this attitude I have no idea what a serious relationship is and I don't know how to be in one. Do I need to change the way I view dating?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Patience is the answer, If you think the guy is great but doesn't want a relationship, give him that time don't just disappear. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with him, but he may have his reasons. A relationship is a commitment it isn't just perfect yellow brick road. There are bumps and holes along the way. As long as you are both willing to support each other and be willing to overcome anything, that is what will build the relationship and not running away at the first sign of flaws. No one is perfect.

    • How long gone would you wait?

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    • Nooo. See that's what I don't want. You loved her but she definitely didn't love you. You wasted your life on her!!

    • That is a matter of perspective, she did love me but she went to college across the country and long distance took its toll. If I had to do all over again, I would. It isn't easy, it isn't something that will just fall into place on its own. The honeymoon phase always ends at some point. That is when the real work begins. Long distance just made it that much harder. Good luck though

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What Guys Said 5

  • It is really simple. If you look for your ex in another guy, you will never find him.

    Instead, you can freshen up and try loving a person for who he is. That way, you dont have to play a waiting game. You will know who is the right person.

    • I do like this guy for who he is. He just doesn't know what he wants right now. That's fine, he's just not going to get anything from me until he figures it out. I'm not going to let him use me while he takes all the time in the world to decide.

      I don't look for my ex in guys actually. I just don't like anyone I've met, save for the last one.

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    • I talked to him. He's nervous about a relationship ship because he feels that he isn't in the right state of mind since his last one.

      I think I'll wait for him a little bit. Establish some trust there, if he wants that.

    • good call 😊

  • Most guys at this age only want casual sex or short-term relationships. You're gonna have to date older guys or have patience.

    • I need people to mature lol.

  • You're way too serious way too early. That's fine but your success rate will very very low

    • It has been very low. I like having fun and stuff but I don't like mindless flings or people just using me. I've dated and it's been cool but after a while I get bored. I guess I don't understand dating for months with no end goal.

    • Relationships need to be natural, not forced.

  • Nice. ...
    are you opportunist or hard worker?

  • Depends what you want. If you care more about finding the perfect guy then don't settle. But yeah maybe if it's a small thing like the guy is boring, maybe learn to be fine with it.
    Also remember that when we hide things from others, sometimes even small things, we usually end up getting annoyed with them and leave.


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