Why does the guy I'm dating joke about me seeing other people/cheating?

I've been seeing this guy for a month. We go out on dates once a week, don't really text between meetings except to make plans. He isn't the best conversationalist but he's passionate about his work and I love seeing how he lights up. We haven't talked about exclusivity yet or attempted to define the relationship.

On our recent dates, I've noticed him joking more and more frequently about me seeing other guys. Ex: I was walking fast and he joked, "What's the rush? Got a hot date to get to?" Then another time a notification appeared on my phone with an extremely long text from one of my male friends and he joked, "Breakup text from your boyfriend?" I really don't know what to make of this. I can't tell if he's (1) insecure or (2) has a guilty conscience (is seeing other people). He hasn't tried to kiss me yet either, and we've been on four dates! What gives? (Note - I have no problem making the first move if it comes down to it, but I'm hesitant because of the mixed signals).

Other details: He knows I receive a lot of male attention, but he's never appeared openly upset about it before and I always politely turn men down. I even offered to show him the long text my male friend sent, but he turned it down. My friends describe him as a "dick"/"aloof" (not because he's mean, but because when we're all together he focuses all of his attention on me and does the bare minimum to keep the conversation going with my friends) but he treats me extremely well; he definitely has a soft spot for me. He can be closed off - he'll avoid questions by joking or deflecting - but he has opened up to me.


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  • He is insecure

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