How to win over a guy?

I've tried everything except directly asking him out (which I can't do for the life of me, believe me I wanted to). I've been super friendly and bubbly, taken interest on the things he does, showed I remember and was interested on things he told me, showed skin, been to a lot of the same parties as him, liked his shit on social media, I'm TRYING.

Yet he still shows absolutely no signs of interest. I don't know if I'm just stupid or not picking them up cause he's sorta shy or if there really is absolutely none. The most I've ever gotten from him was a cute birthday message on Facebook, he saying 'hey + my nickname' whenever we cross each other at uni, a laugh over some jokes I told in class and a quick look at my butt which frankly everyone else takes.

At the risk of sounding like a narcissist I'm definitely conventionally attractive and we bond well over the things we talk about. He's single, we see each other often, I don't know what else I can do besides directly making a move, and I can't bring myself to do that unless I know I'm not getting rejected.

How can I win him over? What would work for you?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Now you know what guys have to deal with, as we are the ones who are expected to ask the girl out the vast majority of the time.

    You're gonna have to ask him out, even if it's over something casual, like coffee or lunch. Believe me, I know it's scary as fuck, but you just have to do it. Just last week, I asked out a girl in my lecture. I made an ass of myself, because I didn't notice that she had a promise ring (whoops!). It's been a week, and I still feel like a total dumbass, but it's what happened. I still sit next to her everyday in biochem, and yeah, it's awkward. But I think that awkwardness is mostly in my head, because she is still really friendly and nice towards me.

    Honestly, rejection is better than sitting in a state of limbo, wondering if he'd say "yes." At least if you get rejected, you KNOW he isn't interested, and you can move on.

    • You're so right. This limbo is the worst because I can't move on and honestly I've tried. But even when I met awesome guys and actually had a good time with them, I'd just go back to thinking about him and ruining things with everybody else every time. I wish I wasn't so insecure about asking him out

    • It's okay and totally normal to be nervous. It took me a solid two weeks to build up the courage to ask that girl in my biochem lecture out to lunch. But believe me, the sooner you can do it, the better.

      Just ask him to something casual like a coffee. He'll get the hint that you like him, but it's nothing over-the-top serious. Good luck!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Since making a move is not an option I'd say you should get even closer to him until it feels less awkward. If you're conventionally attractive and he's single and feels comfortable around you there's a good chance he won't say no.


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What Guys Said 6

  • Hi, I think you should make your move, Rejection is Hard for everyone, maybe He is just shy as you say to act and might also like you as friends. If you don't know where you stand with him, why not ask him? Because as much as Rejection might hurt so is Loving someone who doesn't seem to show interest & not knowing where u stand. Hope this is helpful

    • You're absolutely right, man does that hurt hahahah. I guess I'm just scared of making a fool of myself and then having to handle the awkwardness later. I wouldn't be able to avoid him and I'm really emotional so that would get to me. I guess I'll just accept and try to move on. Thank you though

    • And If He Finds Someone right after you try to move on? It's gonna also get to you,😏.
      But If You pulled out all Cards except the Joker Card and he doesn't see that then Try to move on, Stop talking to him even, Ignore Him

  • Make a move or nothing will happen. he's either extremely shy or just not interested, trust.

    • I know for a fact he's not extremely shy. This is why I don't want to make a move, mostly because I

    • ... am too proud to handle rejection well and wouldn't be able to avoid him in case he did reject me. I'm a mess I know. Thank you though!

  • You CANNOT negotiate attraction or desire. It's either there or it isn't.
    He IS NOT the one.

    • I disagree, there have been times before where I wasn't interested at all and they changed my mind -- and yes I actually started to be physically attracted to them. But yeah he's most likely just not interested, thank you for your opinion!!

    • You could flash him your tits - maybe that would perk him up. LOL

  • Tell him you like him. A lot of guys won't make a move until they are certain.

  • Is he shy?

    • He is but he isn't lol. I mean he's admitted to being shy to me before and he's a little awkward when you first meet him, but he's definitely not quiet or introverted. He's very sociable, has a lot of friends and he's experienced when it comes to women (he's 21 and had a girlfriend for 4 years until last year). Which is why I'm like 100% sure he's just not interested

    • Maybe you're not being direct enough

  • Just ask him out directly.. if guys can handle being rejected 100's of times, then you should be able to handle 1 rejection if it happens.

    • I wish I could. The thing is if he did say no I wouldn't be able to avoid him, we attend to a class that is literally only the two of us and the teacher so it'd be impossible to escape the awkward. And that makes the whole idea of approaching him 10000x more off putting. Thanks though!!

    • Then you're going to lose him, and you're going to regret that you didn't make a move later in life. I hope you realize that.

      Ask him if he wants to study over at his or your place, it should be less awkward than asking him out directly.

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