My girlfriend is angry that I don't want her talking to a guy who likes her?

He liked her before I did, tried to kiss her and tried to finger her before I even met her. She didn't like him so it never happened. I started dating her and it was calm until he got back into her life. He makes comments of a sexual nature which got me upset. I shouldn't have ranted at her, which she got angry for. She also ditched me for him multiple times for him. After two weeks of arguing over him, he told her he liked her and he knows she likes him. she eventually blocks him. After a day his friend contacted her to ask why she blocked him. During our fighting she has been telling him everything and he said he would kiss, which she accidentally let slip out. I got angry and mad the mistake of yelling and being hurtful. Her friends say I am controlling and to break up with me. So does the guy and his friends. She suddenly got angry again and says she wishes she never dated me and I'm controlling and emotionally abusive. I just didn't want her talking to a guy who likes her and doesn't respect our relationship. She doesn't wanna be that "girl who says I have a boyfriend." What do I do? Am I wrong? She says she doesn't care if he makes comments like that. I know I shouldn't have yelled but she's so angry and I'm worried.
I don't wanna be controlling but I don't want their relationship to continue. She says I don't trust her.
Her friends say I'm being controlling (all females besides him and his buddies) and I feel like most guys would agree w me that they would feel uncomfortable. Is this a gender difference


Most Helpful Girl

  • Your girlfriend is being an unreasonable attention whore. She obviously enjoys the attention of the other dude without minding your feelings about that. If I were you, I'd either break up with her or I'd start talking to a girl who I knew she fancies me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok, for the record, I totally agree with you. She should not be talking to him. All he wants is take her, and she should not be talking to him because of that. The problem is how you handled it. Yes, you were too controlling and too aggressive about it. You need to do some damage control. You need to apologize to her and romance her as much as you can. You need to be the best boyfriend you can be. You need to sweep her off her feet so she totally cannot get you off her mind and totally forgets that girlfriend stealing douchebag!

    • He's a jehovas witness so he says he can't date, but he tried to finger her after he said that lol. I told her I would never yell like that again and since she stopped ignoring me I've been perfect. His friend contacted her asking why she blocked him, and she got angry w me and said she realized she lost friends because of me. I stayed calm and she hasn't responded after a short exchanging of words. She said she'd be happier talking to him right now but I don't know if that was jsut to get me mad

    • HA tell her to go ahead and not to let the door hit her on the way out. She's checked out of the relationship already, there's no coming back from this.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 6

  • That's because you're coming off as insecure and controlling. Women generally want a strong and confident man. Also this may be a way of testing your 'commitment' to Her. As if the 'bidding process' is starting again.

    All you can really do is to show and tell Her what She means to you and be indifferent to Her actions. Also you must, in a certain subtle way, convey the idea that you're the one She might lose.

    • wouldn't being indifferent allow her to talk to the guy friend as much as she wants despite me being uncomfortable? Should I just ignore my feelings and let him be all over her cause she says she doesn't care if he does

    • Yeah.. So?
      What else are you going to do.. Put her in a jihab and lock her in a room with 24 video surveillance?

      Her behavior seems like a "shit test" (Google it)

      Women are catty creatures. Believe me, if She wanted to cheat around you'd be the last to know

    • I went down that road... it doesn't end well. OP is better off putting his cards on the line and if she doesn't accept it to leave her because she simply isn't committed enough to make it work.

  • You are not being SMART dude. Listen, I'm going to expalin psychology and human behavior.

    In nature all women have a filter system to choose what men to be attracted to and who to filter out. Because of this all women perform congruence tests and compliance tests. All of this is done through a girls subconcious mind which INCLUDES attraction. This means that women sometimes are attracted to guys from some type of body language the dude puts out and she isn't aware why she thinks he's hot.

    In the beginning of a relationship and if there is a bump in a relationship a woman will throw tests to see if her guy likes her "too much" therefore this converts to the opposite of confidence. this is also why you may notice that woman are more prone to starting fights about nothing. Mainly their brain wants to see if you will respond like a crybaby, a total jerk, a smooth operator that she should respect, or a dumbass.

    You girl is pulling a test. Of COURSE she knew from the beginning you wouldn't like that. She doesn't care about that guy but the real question her sub-conscious mind is asking is "what are you gonna do about it?".
    OK, so you understand the test. NOW LISTEN.
    Sometimes there is no way to win these tests but you just need to not totally lose and screw things up. You are doing ALL of the wrong things. YOUR ACTIONS are telling her brain "I should like this other guy better" and she will if you keep at it.
    -He makes sexual comments. She knows it's unacceptable but she likes the compliments. Let me take a wild guess. SHE TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT THOSE COMMENTS and her ears perked up to see what you would say.
    The problem is you were not a "cool cat" with your response.

    You are all bent about it and what happens is you fuss and she makes you look horrible. You gotta understand that the other dude is just a pretty tool but you got the girl.

    Now when a woman plays you do see if you are going to be like "Please don't leave me, I need you more than you need me" or "YOU shall DO what I SAY NOW" think twice buddy.

    Have a calm talk with her. Be a COOL CAT bro. You are getting uptight and losing points with your girl. I understand she's being unacceptable. guys need to understand.
    Women just want to chase butterflies and run around catching positivity. As a guy you NEVER should hold them from running around but just make sure they don't fall off of a cliff.

    Instead of fighting you should focus on using this situation to allow her to see you are a good boyfriend.

    • I think he's lost it with her. Totally failed the test multiple times. Best thing he can do now is break up with her , tell her and her friends to go fuck themselves and be single for a bit and date other women.

    • @pas666 It has gone pretty far now... fighting for weeks. yikes.

    • I've been in this situation before and kept my cool, the only time she got mad at me was when she first came to me and asked me for advice and I told her if it was me I would just stop talking with him and that that's what I've done with some females friends too because they were being too forward. She flipped out on me and told me I was being controlling like her other ex's... I didn't even tell her to stop talking to him just that the best way to handle it is to keep your distance. She still ended up cheating but with another guy. Sorry but this ain't no test, it's over. The only way you can win this is get out with some dignity left because when girls are like this it means they're on the hunt for someone else and that they're already mentally checked out.

  • Leave her dude. She ain't worth puttin' up with that for

  • Pretty soon she'll accidentally slip and fall on his cock and somehow She'll tell you she magically got naked and started riding him, and then when you dump her, her friends will start calling you an asshole for not taking her back when your not even the one that was trying to break up a relationship, it was the other guy, but you are the bad guy anyways, dump her, I already know the routine, been there done that, one of the most important rules when dating is that you don't become emotionally attached, many women come back at me and say I'm being an asshole for giving this advice or I sound like a sexist but in the end of the day, females have more sexual value than males do, a man shouts who wants to have sex with me and the authorities will probably be called, a female goes into a club wearing a sexy outfit etc and says who wants to have sex literally and you'll have guys fighting each other just to take her home, the reason why I'm saying this is because contrary to what girls say, when you start getting emotionally involved women start feeling you are smothering them or they'll get bored of you because they know you are emotionally attached and then you become in their eyes, "needy", that's why you never take a woman's advice to showing a lot of affection, take it from me just date women, don't fall for them, break up with this chick and take my advice when you start dating again, remember females can jump into relationships faster than males can if they really wanted to, it's what people call the power of the puzz, good luck.

  • you're not wrong dude, this girl is a manipulative bitch and sounds a lot like my ex. She's getting mad at you and so defensive because you're right. You're so much better off finding another girl with less drama and actually respects you and the relationship.

    When my ex got a new job this guy started texting her and snap chatting her all the time. She told me about this within the first few days of him doing this and asked me for advice because she thinks he likes her and was worried that she could develop feelings as well so I told her she shouldn't give him much attention, remember SHE came to ME and asked for advice and that's what I did. She accused me of beinrg controlling and jealous like all her other ex's (huge red flag that I missed... EVERY single one of her ex's was controlling according to her, maybe she was the common denominator hhhmmmm). Anyway they still kept in contact and I let my guard down since the dude was in a very serious 3 year relationship himself. My cheated on me, not with that guy but another one. We spoke a couple months after the breakup and she told me that work was hell because there were so many rumours that she and that coworker were hooking up...

    Some girls are just way too immature for a serious relationship and your girlfriend is one of them. Sorry man.

    • Thanks for MHO... Update? after reading the comments u der truthbeknown I relaly hope you've dumped her.

  • Just leave her alone... not worth your time...


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