I love her but I'm not attracted to her physically?

I met this girl online back in November but we haven't been able to meet up until recently because she moved to a city several hours away the day after we met online.

We've been talking nearly daily since November and quite unexpectedly, we both fell in love with each other. I've seen pictures of her before and I wasn't extremely attracted to her physically but I love her for who she is and I told myself I could figure it out later on. After spending the last couple days with her, I still love her as much as I always do but I have 0 attraction for her physically.

I feel terrible saying this and although right now, I'm telling myself that I can be okay with it, I'm scared that down the road, things might change. I've always been a very shallow person and although she has changed that and I love her more and more everyday despite not being attracted to her physically, I'm scared that it won't last forever.

My apologies if I am coming off like a huge asshole. If I could have it my way, I wouldn't feel this way but I honestly cannot control how I feel about things.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You are not shallow for not being physically attracted to someone. It is what it is.

    And since you are a man and not a woman, my advice to you is you need to end it with her. Unlike a female, I do not think physical attraction can grow for a male if it is not there visually.

    I think a female can grow to find a man physically attractive even if she did not find him physically attractive initially since I believe our physical attraction to a man is made up of all kinds of non-physical things. I do not think this is true for a man.

    So, be kind, end it.

    I know it sucks. It sucks for you and it sucks for her. But it is better than continuing on only to end it later down the line which is where I think you will be since I do not think physical attraction will grow for you with time. It is better to end it sooner than later.

    And you aren't shallow. It is what it is... a shame since she is a good one... but nonetheless, it is what it is. (Or more aptly put, what it isn't.)

    Sorry. :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Could you describe what the issues are regarding her attractiveness? Is she top fat, too tall, too short, not muscular enough, too curvy, not curvy enough, bad facial structure, etc.


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What Girls Said 2

  • more details on her appearance

    but my take:
    you dont love her truly i think
    because if you love someone, you will find her attractive no matter what and you will appreciate her appearance and highlights those good ones and make her believe that she is.

  • Looks are not everything but attraction still plays a role in a relationship. I mean, you are going to have sex with her one day if you guys get serious with one another. If you're not attracted to her then it's gonna cause problems later on.


What Guys Said 0

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