Why does he continue to ask me on dates if he seems to have lost interest?

I recently went on a date with this guy, & it went very well. Prior to the date, we texted almost every day for one month & it was always substantial conversation.

Before meeting, he told me he was a tad bit shy. But when we met for dinner he didn't seem shy at all. We talked all through dinner & he asked me to get coffee after. I had to decline the offer for coffee since I had to work the next day & it was getting late. He didn't try to kiss me, which was fine (and refreshing since most guys try very hard on date one), but told me he'd message me to set up another date. I texted him after & told him I had a great time. He said the same & told me I looked pretty. But that was it.

We set the second date for the following Wednesday (3 days ago). We met for dinner after work. (We live & work in separate cities, about 30-45 mins apart.) Again, it was great! Within 15 minutes of that date, he asked for a third. We talked for 3 hours. He paid for dinner & walked me to my car & gave me a one armed hug goodbye. I didn't receive a message from him until the next day, but there was absolutely no reference to the previous night's date. (No "Thanks for meeting me" or "I enjoyed dinner" etc.) We haven't set the third date, yet, but since we've met, it seems our communication has lessened (on his part) & responses are often hours apart. I don't need to communicate ALL the time, & I'm actually happy to date someone who isn't rushing things. But, I'm also confused. Our communication now indicates he may have lost interest... but yet he keeps asking me out. He doesn't SEEM like the just-looking-for-a-hookup type, & I don't get that vibe from him. (Though I'm aware I could be naive to this.) Why would a guy keep asking you out on dates, yet give LESS indication that he likes you than he did prior to meeting? He refers to them as dates, by the way. Not "hanging out" or meeting as friends. I date a lot, so I typically feel confident reading men, but this one is throwing me for a loop.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I could be way off base, but this is what I get from it. You spent a month texting before meeting. Many times when we finally meet the person, the magic you felt texting isn't there in person. He sounds like a nice guy and it's really hard to say he doesn't want to be involved because he doesn't want to hurt you. A lot of guys that are like that just let things slow down until the girl cuts it off. Talk to him. Because you have a nice time with him and can talk for hours, it doesn't have to mean he is interested in more. I hope you get it cleared up and get what you are looking for. Good luck!


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