I fucked up bad. I need advice on how to fix this. If it's fixable?

Me and a guy I used to work with have been going out for the past 3 weeks. The first week was great. We were having fun. I trusted him. One of my friends at work freaked out and told me he was a big player. I started not trusting him at that point. He kept trying to get in my pants on the 2nd week. So that made it worse. But I feel partially to blame because all we really did was hang out and watch movies. I felt bad to ask him to go anywhere because he always insisted on paying. Last time I saw him he stripped me and he tried to have sex with me. I stopped it because it was too soon. I wrote him and tried texting him. I could tell he was upset. I got tired of begging. Left him alone for a day. Then the next day was his birthday. I didn't know. He said hed told me but I didn't remember. I offered to take him out he said no he was tired. I got upset, didn't say so... I asked him out on an official context and all he said was he liked me and completely ignored me asking. I felt like I was being played. I didn't think how he was feeling at all. I went to Tennessee by myself. We were planning on going together buttttt... after that fight and him not talking to me, I just flipped at work and went by myself. After cooling down and my dad's counsel I realized I was the one who fucked up in the first place by letting him in my house. I did tell him before time I didn't want to go that far. But nonetheless I feel it was my fault. I texted him how I felt and he didn't text back. I was thinking about driving by and seeing about him. But I don't know if that would just make shit worse or not.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Cut your losses and move on. He doesn't seem to have respect for your boundaries. You are already questioning if he is trustworthy. The two of you can't seem so agree on who will pay for a date. And both of you have been sending mixed signals to the other.

    The train that you are on has already derailed. Maybe you made some mistakes. Its ok. People make mistakes. But don't put all the blame on yourself. Sounds like he hasn't been helping the situation at all. Why not just stop torturing yourself and start over with a clean slate.

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  • The guy will still want sex while you don't regardless if you make up or not. The only reason you should pursue this guy is if you have changed your mind and now want sex.

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    • I want sex. Just not 'just sex'. I get that people don't just get attached right off the bat, but I don't like all this I'll fuck you and run stuff. So I guess I shouldn't pursue.

What Girls Said 1

  • Well now days it's so easy to just hangout and watch movies because it makes things more relaxed and not too stressful. I'm the type I would rather hangout than go out to a restaurant where you feel more self conscious (those are my thoughts). I think the way this generation handles dating has made it so much easier for guys to be players and girls to just go along with it. I think you just need to give him some space and see what his actions say. If he does actually like you he will want to prove it to you and not just act like everything was your fault. He should feel bad for being pushy when it comes to sex. If he wants to truly get to know you and not just your body he will pursue YOU and not just your body unless you're ready for that.

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