He wants a separate life from me?

My boyfriend and i are having an extremely hard time after dating for almost 4 years. When we first started dating we brought both our lives together, he met my friends, i met his and we were both included. Lately though, he doesn't want me to come along. He will go out with friends on our only days off together, and if i ask to come along he complains and says he needs "guy time". Im all for guy time, but he never wants me to come along when other friends are invited. I've tried telling him that i want to be included but that doesn't make a difference to him. Now we are consistently fighting because he says that the world doesn't revolve around me when i haven't even met the people he wants to hang out with. In my eyes we are practically married, we live together, so i think we should be past that point of hanging out without eachother. I think we should be to the point where we both want to have eachother around in our "separate lives". I always have him around with me, but he never wants me around with him. What do i do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • yeah he could he could be hiding something from you. i do understand that you met most of his friends and he yours. and where ever you goes he does to and vicr versa. but there are going to be times where he wants to do thibgs with just his friends not saying hr doesn't love you or want to be with you but probably the constant being around you all the time he might just want to be out with his buds.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • ‪Let's take a moment for some biology. Women hit menopause and stop having periods, which usually means you won't be having kids anymore. Our bodies are designed to urge us to settle and find a mate; so we can procreate and be provided for while we raise kids. You want to settle down mostly due to this natural instinct even if you don't want any yet or at all. Men produce viable sperm until death. He mostly doesn't feel this way because his body doesn't have a deadline to procreate. I say to have a talk with him about why he doesn't want you there. Even in a healthy relationship, a partner may want to participate in an activity where the group addresses the partner as a separate being from you. Your boyfriend will get to self-address as me, mine, I'm; not Us, Our, We're. But if he finds himself envious of other couples, or of his single friends, he may not have the same feelings for you he had in the past. Sit down, explain how you feel, and don't take "I don't know" for an answer.‬

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well all I can say is it won't change so you have a decision

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What Girls Said 1

  • hmmm... well, it sounds like he doesn't want you around coz he is seeing other girls..

    Your age listed is 20-24 and guys in that range usually aren't ready to settle down... you have been together 4yrs and it sounds like he is ready for a change.

    You feel you are basically married after 4 years together, and he may be feeling he is not ready for that kind of commitment...

    Have you talked to him and point out asked him if he is tired of you and is dating other girls behind your back?

    I don't know what else I can suggest?

    Just my 2 cents worth...

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    • I've asked if he's tired of me and he says no, but he did lie to me about a girl he was talking to. Even after i confronted him 3 times he still lied to my face.

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