What should I do about new neighbor I fancy?

Basically there's a woman in her early-mid 30s who's moved into a new apartment across from me. I've had my eye on her since she moved in which would probably be around 2-3 weeks now. She lives on her own & I am 95% sure she is single, although I=another woman goes there sometimes (could be her sister.) I saw her today (27/5/10)

I haven't spoken to her yet as I am very shy, but we have made eye contact and smiled at each other once or twice. There was an occasion last week when she and her friend were leaving in their car and they glanced (almost stared at me) whilst leaving!

I would really like to introduce myself to her, but would it creep her out if I just popped a polite note through her door with my number saying welcome etc (just being neighborly?)

The thing is I am a 23yrd old 6ft tall guy who is extremely mature for my age - and I hope she wouldn't let that put her off.

Any advice folks? Thanks


Most Helpful Guy

  • Women are experts at flirting and dating, so making a run at this woman is like going to play tennis with Venus Williams. She will know way more about you in seconds than you will know about her in days. There are 2 strategies that you can use to deal with this.

    The first is to acknowledge her greater skill and ability and try to tap into it. Throw a very small dinner party, like just 4 or 6 of your friends (couples) and invite her over. For this occasion a note will be fine, even recommended. Make it a pot luck party so you will have to communicate with her several times before the event. Maybe everyone else will leave early leaving you 2 alone at the end. If this happens then absolutely do not try to come onto her. Just admit that you're inexperienced in the dating game and could she be your confidant? Ask her how she thinks you can improve yourself.

    The second strategy is to not play tennis with her. By that I mean don't step into the arena where she's much better than you. Present yourself as someone who is super passionate about something other than dating and relationships, like cooking, or frisbee. Women really like men who are passionate about something because it gives them a chance to steer that passion over towards them. Then you can invite her to events that are connected to your passion, but never let on that you're interested in her. She will see through your ruse and play along with you and let you know how she feels.

    Remember, trying to outsmart a woman in relationships is like thinking you will beat Tiger Woods at golf.


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What Girls Said 1

  • As a girl I say go for it. If nothing else she would take it as a compliment.

    Go over to her house and knock and just welcome her to the neighborhood and offer to help if she needs anything. Being new to a place you're bound to need directions, etc. If she's vaguely interested she'd come up with an excuse to talk to you.

    Good luck!


What Guys Said 1

  • Definitely start off with small talk, things like "how are you" and "how do you like the neighbourhood so far", etc. Dropping notes is a little creepy and even your description of how you've been watching her is bordering on stalkerish. After the small talk offer to take her out/show her around any cool restaurants/pubs (ie ask her out on a date), but if she declines don't press the issue. The last thing you want is a creeped out neighbour.