Wtf are you serious?

i just found out the man iv been with since i was 12 has been dressing in lingerie and using dildos on himself he's also talking with trans people i think he said he was just curious and it was a 1 time thing wtf do i do im super turned off by all of it!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok, don't freak out. He isn't gay. I also love lingerie. It is fetish and kink. He likes to crossdress. I have had a fascination with women's lingerie since I first saw them in "Penthouse" magazine when I was kid. I just love how they feel and fit. Very different from what our underwear is like. Since they are meant for women, there is also a taboo element to it that is also extremely exciting. Pretty much all men that are into women's lingerie are straight and still make great lovers and partners. Nothing about it makes them gay. They are still interested in women's stuff, not men's, so not gay at all. Crossdressing is among the least accepted and least understood and therefore least mutually enjoyed fetishes there are. Many women jump to negative conclusions, like you, before trying to understand and even embrace it. This is why he keeps it secretive. We know it is not well received, plus, it is a very shameful and embarrassing fetish too. No body brags about it. This is why he talks to other people with similar interests, because he knows you will freak and not accept it. At the end of the day, this is simply a "role playing" thing that is just as innocent as any other adult enjoyed fetish or kink.
    I do totally understand why this turns you off. You want your man to be a man, not look and feel like a woman. I totally get that. My wife totally hates it, never accepted it and actually thought I was turning gay too when she first found out. For me, it was the sexy fabrics and materials and how they fit me that made it sexy and such a turn on. She gets nothing out of it. She lets me do it once in a while, but I don't over do it because I know she doesn't like it. But this does cause a bit of conflict between us because it is something I like and she doesn't. Not something worth breaking up over, but not something I can live without either. Compromise is the key. I hope you are able to have an open mind. It goes both ways, he needs to be respectable about it with you too. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more about it.

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    • i do understand where u r co. ing from totally if it was just the lingerie i could prob get past it honestly but its not just that he's buying dildos and strap ons online never bringing up to me who is he using the strap on with he has addmitted he wants to be pegged... he is also into sissy stuff and humiliation i think its called im not familliar so sorry if im coming off offensive its not intended he also isn't that interested in sex with me and if he is he would rather do anal any day and all of the porn on his phone is transvestite or transgender no vaginas at all y is that sry but i have no one to ask

    • No problem, I'll do my best. I would also love to be pegged, but I am deathly afraid of asking because of how she already feels about the lingerie. So I don't even go there. I think he may be turning to transvestite because his fetish is more accepted with them. Since most women do not like pegging or crossdressing he feels he can't enjoy his fetish with a normal woman and therefore turns to trannys for attention. He is taking things a step further with the sissification. He is only becoming more in touch with a feminine connection. Again, this doesn't mean he is attracted to men. Part of crossdressing is feeling feminine, or womanly, or pretty. This can include desires to be penetrated, but not necessarily by another man. This is why you do not see any regular gay porn in his collection. That is also why he likes trannys because they can penetrate him, but still be a woman at the same time.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay? No one forces you to keep seeing him.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • wow never thought a guy would be like that.

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    • ya me neither especially my 6ft 3 boyfriend that iv been with 4 ever

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    • everything will be okay. don't blame yourself for his actions. you need to think about your baby now and his upbringing.

    • i kno thats all im trying to focus on at the moment

  • I don't believe you

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    • i dont care if u do or not its my life not yours i have to wake up and deal with it

  • if your relationship isn't good with him. leave him

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    • its just been so long only one iv ever been with i have a 5 month old also it just all came out so quick im still processing it

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    • no u are fine nothing i havnt thought of anyway i just appreciate u listening it helps to just talk about it so thank u

    • you're welcome!! 😊❤
      if you want to talk about anything. I'll be here :)

  • im with you, once seems very oddd

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    • ya and iv never been the snooping type ever i beleive in trusting who your with but i looked at his amazon account and he just ordered a dildo and underwear!! like wtf wow

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    • keep me updated if u do something

    • ok i will thanks again

  • Catfished

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    • what do you mean the fact that he never told me anything

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    • You don't live together?

    • we did all his stuff is here but when he wrecked our car it was totaled so now he has to have them take him to work threw the week so he stays there and comes home on weekends

What Girls Said 3

  • I'm finding it extremely hard indeed that it's taken you all this time (15 yrs!) to realise/find out this out.

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    • im with her! ^ wth have you been doing to not notice

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    • There's absolutely no need for your filthy and foul language, thank you.

    • then dont comment

  • that's weird

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  • Well... why does it matter?

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    • it matters because he's talking to other people and dressing in lengerie and shoving dildos up his ass when im not home and he's allways been homophobic

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