(Sorry kind of long post) My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. It hasn't been the easiest relationship, i have a lot of issues with depression and anxiety and he can be rude and has some issues with drinking too much. I've made a lot of mistakes but he always forgives me because he says he loves me and wants us to work. Lately things have been really good for us but the other night we were drinking and got into a fight (I don't even remember what about, something stupid) but he started being so rude and like mocking me. He was making me so mad and I just lost it. I (barely) punched him in the face, he blocked it for the most part. And I said some pretty horrible things. He's said horrible things to me too but still seems to think all our problems are my fault. Anyway, I know what I did was really fucked up. I've tried apologizing but he's been completely ignoring me and won't look at me. I just wish I knew what he was feeling. I completely understand if he wants to break up with me. Part of me feels like I should break up with him so He doesn't have to deal with me anymore but I don't want to lose him. He's a good guy and I try to be a good person, we both just have our issues. Should I just give him space or is there something I can say to convince him how sorry I am and I still want us to work?