Most Helpful Guy
If I was in your mom's situation, I would be the same kind of parent, just on the father side of things. I've got nothing but respect for her devotion to you and your siblings, if you have any.
However—and this is a big however—if a marriage is successful, then the marriage comes before the children. Taking nothing away from the job your mother has done, a two parent household is the ideal. When the couple is there for each other first, there is more than enough love from either parent for all their children, but there are two parents, and all of it is happening under one roof.
I disagree when you say your husband can leave at any second. (I mean, I know that happens, but hear me out…) The point of marriage is to be all in on each other, not just in the meantime until the inevitable divorce, but with both spouses taking the 'til death do we part thing seriously. I'm not blind to the fact that marriage is difficult as well as less and less successful all the time. But perhaps the my-spouse-could-ditch-me-any-second attitude is a self-fulfilling prophecy which is actually the root of the problem. If that's how you see your husband and it's how he sees you, your marriage will have failed before it's begun. And, in that case, you're right, there isn't anything left to put ahead of your children. Not if you want to remain a good parent, anyway.
I won't deny that marriage is hard work. I've been doing it for a while now. But I also can't imagine anything being more rewarding. Raising children together is one really awesome part of that.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
One of my sisters is like that. These are usually the kind of women who have no business having kids and are genuinely not cut out to be mothers. My sister has low self-esteem, has always been desperate for acceptance, doesn't want to grow up/age and is self-centered except for when it comes to a man. She has always been a man chaser, has just always been desperate to have a man--that is really all she has ever wanted in life.
The kids are a mistake; they're not planned (with one exception, see below). A lot of these women don't actually want kids, and it's never something they sat down and thought they wanted someday... so they could care less about doing right by their kids. In my sister's case, she's honestly a big wh0re. If you're a woman who loves sex and sleeps around, especially if you hate condoms, then, obviously, you will get pregnant at some point. Women like this will have abortions at times (which she did at least twice) and just go ahead and have the kids other times (like if they have a man in their life) and just keep going the same way they always have with their life despite having kids. My sister has had 4 kids with 3 different men and has passed one of the kids off as the child of the 3rd man (who she married), so she's saying three of the kids are his when really just two of them are.
How I said the kids are not really wanted... that's true, but sometimes women USE kids to get to or keep a man. My sister's first child is one she had on purpose to try to make the child's father commit to her, and it didn't work. Because of this, she hates her daughter and has always treated her like garbage and worse than the two kids that she "had" with her husband (the 4th child died). The funny thing is that same daughter has now turned around and had a child just to "trap" a particular man, and she is also a horrible mother and the man also still does not want her.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE