Should I pursue a serious relationship while I'm young or is casually dating okay for now?

My love life isn't that great. I've just been living and going with the flow. I had a high school relationship but since then I've only been involved in flings. The guys I meet and spend time with aren't interested in relationships. It doesn't bother me because I have school and starting a career to focus on. I've been having fun anyway and have some great memories. And they aren't bad guys they just prefer easy causal dating/flings.

People are getting to me and telling me if I don't start dating seriously now it'll be harder to when I'm older. Is this true?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think they are wrong. One way to think of dating is that there are a finite number of guys you will have the opportunity to meet, and you can only marry one. The optimal strategy is to just sample the first 37% of those guys without choosing any of them. Then marry the next one you meet who is better than any of the guys you have previously met.

    So I think you are doing the right thing -- meet a bunch of guys to get an idea who is out there and what works for you. Then when you do get serious, you will make an informed decision. This is much much better than just getting serious with the first guy who will have you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The reason why I think people say it'll be harder is, if there are a certain number of males available in your area that you would be able to date due to age, then reduce the number to straight guys (or straight/bi guys depending on what you're okay with), then reduce the number to eliminate the 'douches' in that group, then reduce the number depending on how picky you are, that is the overall pool of guys you have to pick from. As time goes on, that pool in general will probably diminish as the good guys get picked up by other girls and enter serious relationships/marriage. What this doesn't account for are individuals moving into/out of your area. But you can see why in general, people will tell you to start dating seriously now. I think this is also the reason why people tell older singles that you can't be picky, since they believe older singles have less to choose from.

    However, I think it depends.

    If it's common for many people in your chosen field to be married/in a serious relationship early (in their 20's) then you may have difficulty. Since most of the people you will meet will be related to work, and single coworkers are usually more likely to have single friends (and married people tend to have married friends, especially if they have children).

    It also depends on your location. Generally people tend to stay single longer in large cities versus a small town. Also in cities you are more likely to have other singles who will put off a serious relationship due to career ambitions.

    It can be difficult to meet people, usually it's through friends or coworkers. The next most common ways people meet are through being part of a common group (church/soccer team/volunteer group/etc), a bar, or online.

    If you want to have casual relationships, now is the time to do it though, since you can't exactly have a casual relationship later (unless you get married and then divorced). Personally, I wouldn't worry about it until late 20's early 30's. That is probably the time to start seriously dating if you desire a serious relationship/marriage at some point in your future. I think it is becomes significantly more difficult past mid 30's early 40's.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • No right or wrong answer. Who's to say you don't meet the man of your dreams at age 16? But, it is also wise to date a variety of people while you are younger for life learning experience to figure out what you like and don't and what you are looking for in a life partner. I also think it is ok to date just for the fun of it.

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  • Take it as it comes. If stuff gets serious, it gets serious. I would advise against stuff getting *too* serious. Most people I know (myself included) who got into long term relationships early in their 20s - or even married - ended up breaking up in or around 30.

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  • It will take more effort when your 50 but I'd say think of what your doing as testing the water before diving in guys are doing the same.

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  • Dating does get progressively harder for women as they get older but that's not something that will be a major obstacle until you're in your 30's.

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  • Dear one go with the flow and don't worry about it too much.
    These boys aren't going anywhere so relax. Enjoy your life but when you find someone who is worth everything then please don't lose him will yaa.

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  • There's nothing wrong with starting early, but be careful. Not everyone has your best interests in mind. Its your life so ultimately you should do what you want.

    It doesn't get harder, whoever said that must be trying to scare you. If they mean age 50+ then yeah lol

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  • spread the love

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  • Don't get tied down till after you've lived a little longer... When you are 28 or so, then be receptive to a more settled down lifestyle... If you marry and have kids at 20, you'll never know what could have been...

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    • I don't want r to get married or anything serious like that now. I want to be with someone who cares about me and we can live life together and settle down later

    • Good call. Walk slowly through the quagmire of relationships between male and female

  • It could be true, but not necessarily, you're still young, live your life, experience different types of men, that way whenever you decide to start a serious relationship you'll know what to look for or avoid.

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  • Date casually but be open to a relationship if it can manifest into that with a particular guy.

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  • Enjoy life while you are young.

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  • It depends how old you are exactly.18-24 could mean you just got out of high school or you're nearing your mid twenties, or anywhere in between. If you're in your teens still, You still have some time to date casually if that's what you want to do, but if you meet a great guy who you see as boyfriend material, then consider getting into a relationship with him if he wants the same. don't just continue dating him casually just because you're young.

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    • I'm 22

    • I think you can still date casually for a year or two. Keep in mind though that finding the right partner could take a while, so you don't want to put it off too long. One thing I noticed though - why is that every guy you meet only wants casual sex? That could mean nothing, but it could also be a sign of some problem. Like maybe something about you is attracting the wrong type of guys.

    • I don't know what I'm doing tbh. I don't talk to every guy that approaches me but when I do most of them just want sex.

What Girls Said 8

  • Do not let others opinions get in your head and cause you to doubt what you have been doing. Your main focus is on school and getting ahead in life. Thats your number 1 focus, now if you would like to date or have a serious relationship then thats fine also. Not everyone can juggle going to school, work, and a relationship all at once especially fresh out of high school.

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  • Casual relationships are fine for now, if they are what is comfortable for you. They don't ruin you for future, more serious relationships. What's casual today could end up becoming more.

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  • I don't believe that's true. While you're young, it's the time to have casual relationships. They're great experience too before you actually get into a serious relationship.

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  • You do what works for you! Focus on YOU and when the timing is right a relationship will happen. Good luck :)

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  • It's totally upto you and what you feel is best for yourself! You are young and maybe should focus on other things first but also having someone to be there for you and spend time with you is a bonus. Just carry on going with the flow, what will happen will happen!

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  • There's nothing wrong with it. Go with the flow. A lot of girls should learn to do this instead of trying to force things.

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  • But you can't even find someone serious to date. You said it yourself. Take what you can get

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  • I wouldn't go relationship hunting but I wouldn't date someone who I couldn't see myself with for a while

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