He doesn't put a lot of effort into dating?

So I've been on three dates with this guy from school. He continues to asking me out on coffee dates. The first date we split the bill, the second date he paid and the third i paid.

Anyways, he asked me to a movie this weekend. However, a few minutes after he asked me he switched his mind and asked: would you rather stay home and watch netflix instead of me spending 50$ on a movie.

This bothered me. He is quite cheap and honestly, that does not bother me. It the fact that i feel he puts no effort into planning dates. When he said this I felt as if he was saying that I was not worth the money to spend on for a date.

He also does not take an initiative to get to know me. He is really shy, insecure. We haven't kissed or anything. He has told me himself that he is not good at dating.

During valentines week he avoided talking to me or asking me out. However afterwards he started asking me out again.

He does not any initiative on talking online but talks a lot in person.

My question is: what are your thoughts? does he not care about me?


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • He seems like a normal guy. He could legitimately be low on money and phrased his reasoning in a way that seemed like you're not worth the money. He should have said "I'm broke ATM but I want to see you" or something along those lines rather than "Instead of having to spend $50". I might be being pedantic though.

    If he's bad at dating, that would certainly explain why it seems like he's not putting any efforts into the dates. The Valentine's day thing was likely because you two had only started dating and he was afraid of the pressure of holiday at this point in your "relationship".

    In my opinion, just keep dating him, if you like him enough and maybe drop hints or just flat out say "When are you going to kiss me?" or "When are you going to ask me to be your girlfriend?" in a light-hearted way. Shy, insecure guys are terrified to make these kinds of moves without a CLEAR sign that you want it.

  • Looks like he is putting effort but I'm not sure if you are putting in the effort. Yes, he may not be confident but you should bring his confidence up by being more interested in him, instead you seem like you don't value his time. If you don't like him you should just break it off.


What Girls Said 1

  • He's probably poor. Be more understanding or find someone's richer


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