Who should make a first move here?

Work relationships are ALLOWED here, there are plenty already actually.

  • A boss
    Vote A
  • An employee
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should never date anyone you are employed with. EVER.. I don't care if others do it or its okay or the rules allow it... find another job then ask him out.. if it's that important.. 99% of the time no one is willing to do that.

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    • Not true, but in the case she is talking about where one employee is in charge of another, then you may be right.

      But in the case of people at relatively equal levels, or not directly in one anothers chain of command, nothing wrong with it. Where I used to work several couples got married from meeting at work. The highest on-site manager had met his wife there (before he was a manager, and she was no longer working there by the time I started) so it was not discouraged.

      Work is a huge part of life, and it is difficult meeting people, so it is foolish not to take advantage of opportunities.

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    • I didn't mean legally, I meant it obviously worked out for some people.

    • @zagor I am sure it does work out for some... but others it can be disastrous. I have seen it first hand. So agree to disagree.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're ok leaving your job if it doesn't work out then make a move. It's a bad idea for him to as he is in a position of power and sexual harassment can ruin his career.
    Seems like a stupid idea though. The phrase "don't shit where you eat" is so relevant, but as I said if your job isn't that important to you that you'd be fine to quit if it blew up in your face go for it

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • It doesn't matter but I think an employee should because if the boss does it, he/she is using his/her power or status and might not be coming from a genuine place. I think it's easier for a boss to make the first move but the intentions may not be genuine due to trying to get in a relationship with someone under them. It's harder for an employee to make the first move but the intentions may be genuine due to trying to get in a relationship with a higher up. But that's not always the case. It's a case by case and maybe the intentions are genuine. Of course what do we, as outsiders, know? I don't date coworkers.

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  • Allowed or not it's really dumb. Consider that when it blows up, and it will, one of you will likely have to find another job. That's just the way it is.

    DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT.

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  • Even though they are allowed, and I don't judge anyone, I don't think a boss/employee relationship is a good idea. It's ill-advised. It might work, or it might turn into a sexual harassment lawsuit.

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  • It doesn't matter

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  • Boss = everything works out better
    EE = boss thinks everyone out to get freebie/promotions so might just use you to get even

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  • The employee should go for it if the boss is game, shag your way to the top!

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  • Old and golden rule: "Don't dip your pen in company ink."

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  • The employee should because if the boss does, it may seem like they have to in order to keep favor in their job. I would say go for it i have dated 2 of my employees

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  • In a working environment where I'm the boss, I'd wait for pretty heavy flirting to make a move... and also make sure she ain't crazy.

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  • Date the boss have a chance of getting a raise.

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  • This is a common subject. People always ask questions about getting together with co-workers.

    This is a terrible idea.

    Why?

    Because, everyone will talk about this. No, you cannot keep it a secret. Everyone knows "who's doing who". People can see the subtle looks, body language, etc. People will talk about you, in some cases, negatively, because they know it isn't cool.

    If the 2 parties are overt in their relationship, it creates a nonprofessional environment, which can lead to difficulties with the bosses.

    THEN, if the relationship fails. What then? Well, the talk gets worse. The two parties themselves may talk poorly about the other person. Rumors are started. True or false, a bad environment ensues.

    Nothing good becomes of this.

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    • You must really lack self-respect. Who gives a damn what others think? It's pathetic letting it get to you, and not mention pointless. If they do trash talk about you or even try to kick you out then that means you've given them a reason and that tells more about you then about them.

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    • Well if they make scenes at work because of their relationship then they should be laughed at. Those kind of people would destroy any relationship, not only with a co-worker. I don't care who's doing who at my job and I also don't care what would people talk about me. I think the main problem why people are so against work relationships is because majority is immature and can't separate their love life and work. Seriously, why is it so hard to do your freaking job at work as you always do and deal with your love life when you get home? If I was in a relationship with my boss I wouldn't keep it professional at work. Which means no special treatment and keep it the way we always were. We don't even work together, I rarely even see him at the office. Basically, people can't spread rumors if there's nothing to be spread. That's the point.

    • I would* keep it professional.

  • Employee. It's less appropriate for the boss to make a move because of the perceived power.

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  • Boss employee relationships are not allowed.
    It is considered an abuse of power by law.
    Careful. Sorta like teacher student relationships I think.

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  • The employee should because if the boss does, it may seem like they have to in order to keep favor in their job.

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    • But it'so hard. :( I'm pretty sure he has feelings for me, and I also have feelings for him, but I think we're both in a very difficult situation here. Even though it seems obvious (not only to me but to others as well) we're still JUST flirting! I respect and admire him so much, not only as a boss but also as a person. He went out of his way so many times for me, too. But I know he cares about his position more then anything and that's why I think he hasn't any clear moves yet. I don't want to put him on a spot because I know he will feel like crap if he rejects me.

    • You should also not let other employees know if you do start dating because they may start thinking of many normal business decisions as you being favored.

What Girls Said 7

  • Maybe So Here, dear, but the Relationship between Boss and Employee, Still... Sticks in Mind with Keep it Business as Usual all of the Time.
    Good Luck. xx

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  • If my boss was trying, I might feel creeped out... b/c I dunno if he's trying to use me b/c he's in a position of power. Or if he's low key asking sex for rewards type thing. So, I'd want to drop hints b'c then he can just say no.

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  • well... office relationship is not good. It will makes work place into soap opera theater (and hell yes, there's some happened here, it sucks and disturbing the calm and professional workplace)

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  • Each should stick to their own level, or at least close to their level.

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  • where do you work?

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  • Even if they are allowed you aren't very smart if you'd actually go for it...

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  • boss!

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