How to get over my irrational fear of dating? Lol?

So to make a long story short, I have only been on a handful of dates and I'm 21 years old. Each time it was difficult for me to make conversation because I was super nervous & I tend to get quieter when I'm in new situations. Kind of like when people ramble out of nerves but for me it's the opposite. I hate that I get this way but I don't know how to deal with it properly. I have social anxiety and have improved a lot in the last year but at the back of my mind I'm worried that my date & I will just stare at each other awkwardly in silence lol. It really sucks because I'm a hopeless romantic and have always wanted to get married (someday) and I'm worried that I'm completely ruining my chances of finding that person. Every time someone asks me out in a date I feel this urge to cancel or run away from the situation even when I really want to go. Any advice will be helpful & thanks!! :) Tips for good conversation skills?


Most Helpful Guy

  • u need to ask urserlf what makes u so anxious when dealing with the opposite gender?

    also, u need to remember youserlf of your good aspects, your qualities, your strengths. that will help u to create a positive self-image of yourself. u will start feeling more comfortable when interacting with people after that, and things will go smooth.

    also there is no such a thing like "conversation skills". just be knowledgeable in several topics, be updated with world and national news and learn to have a critical thought of all that. then conversation will just go smooth and fluid

    • Thank you so much! You helped put things in perspective :) I guess there really isn't a reason to feel anxious and I just need to get out of my head. I jist overanalyze a lot of my social interactions and beat myself up over every little thing. Your answer really took off the pressure :)

    • haha you are welcome :) start writing a list of your qualities down in a paper and put it in the wall of your bedroom to remind you every day after u wake up what you are good at. unconsciously, with time, u will realize that u will be more confident talking to a dude

    • thanks for MHO

Most Helpful Girl

  • trouble with hanging out with people in general or just guys? if it's in general, start by hanging out with your girl friends, then, you'll slowly adapt with being with other people... if it's with guys only, then... just try to chat with your guy friends when you meet them, by which I mean initiate the conversations... eventually, you can overcome the fear? hope this helps...'coz these are what I did

    • I think I have trouble hanging out with people in general, but mainly it's guys because I obviously want to make a good impression and to get a second date lol :P Like I'm usually okay one on one because I don't have to compete for the person's attention, but then again if it's just the two of us I have to carry my side of the conversation pretty well (and I doubt my abilities because I'm out of practice) :(

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    • I don't mind lengthy answers lol and you really helped me feel better :) I think I'm just putting too much pressure on myself. I'll just try to be my true self & see where it takes me! I hope you're right

    • I'm glad that it helped 😊

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What Guys Said 2

  • hey I'm dealing with the same thing. just do it. you kind of have to force your self to go out and have fun. maybe don't go on a date right away. invite with with your friends or something

    • Thank you :) Yeah, I think I'm just going to go through with it but I'm so nervous it's not even funny. I keep trying to rehearse what I'm going to say when certain topics come up but I want to be spontaneous lol :) Ugh. I just want this to feel natural some time soon :(

    • don't worry the topics will. come at the moment. just live in the moment

  • alright its not exactly you that's the problem. the right guy can bring a girl out of her shell and make her have a great time no matter what so dont be to harsh on yourself about. it it will happen for you. as for. me. it shall not lol

    • Aww, thank you so much for saying that & it will happen for you too :) you're still a young lad ahah :)

    • yeah my problem isent being shy its not finding a worth while girl to take on a date

    • You will though :) Probably in strangest way since that's usually how it happens lol :)

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