I confessed my feeling to a girl I have known for years who I think likes me. Says she needs time to think, what does this mean and what should I do?

I have known this girl for five years. I chased her back in the day, and ultimately failed due to over eagerness, and I cut of all contact with her.
Last year we met by chance, and we got in touch again. After that, we got a lot closer than usual. We went out together many times, and she even attended a party together with me, held by my friends where she knows none of them (I was really surprised she agreed to come along with me).

3 weeks ago I confessed my feeling to her over the phone (it was right after we met for dinner earlier that night, because I was too ball-less to ask her face to face). She struggled to give me an answer, and I told she can give me her answer some other time when she's ready.

Time passed and we are still talking like normal, like how we usually do, but still no answer yet. Recently four days ago on Wednesday, I asked her out again. On the way home after I have dropped her off in front of her place, I brought up the matter again, this time face to face inside the car. After some awkward pauses, she requested for more time for her to think about it, and after that we part ways. And then we still continued talking like normal.

What does this mean? And what are my chances? (Pretty low i guess, at this point)
I'm thinking of asking her out again one last time next week, and this time I will ask for an answer, is this a good move? I am prepared for any answer, even if it's a negative answer. I just need a form of closure, in order for me to get this matter out of my mind.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I say that you need to give her the option of being friends first, get to know her on a deeper level and see where it goes from there. That is what I would have liked, but a lot of guys that approached me didn't want that. I don't agree with dating total strangers. And I don't agree with just dating any friend when I don't know what they are about romance wise, relationship wise and sexual wise. I would rather know that he interested in things I don't morally agree with than wait to dating or a serious relationship just to find out we were never compatible from the beginning. Don't be surprised if she says no. But if you're serious about her, don't hesitate to tell her and what your willing to do because you ARE serious. But don't sell her a lie either or make promises you can't keep. It's free will. If you two can't be in agreement, then it's over. Find somebody else who is compatible with you and is willing to date you right now or wants to sometime in the future if not right away.

    The thing is she may have been interested in you before, but things change as we grow up and have more responsibilities and priorities. If a relationship is not her focus, she will less likely to agree unless she does say no. Hope this answer your question. Don't ask her out again. We really do need time to think about things and sort out our feelings, whether or not we can make that serious commitment and whether or not you're worth the risk. If you pressure her, you will give her a bad impression of you. Be patient or forget about ever seeing a future with her. It's possible from your description alone she is deflecting, meaning she's avoiding the topic. And I've done this before. It usually means stop pressuring her. She may not feel comfortable in dating you when she may not know you well. Women are not one track thinkers like men are. We have to juggle emotions and everything else in life.

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    • I agree with her here

      Since you know each other from a long time, she needs time to think if she can see you in any other way besides a friend.

      She needs her time. Give it to her. Try to wait for her to come to you with her answer.

    • Show All
    • You tell her how long you expect to wait for an answer. If she neglects to tell you anything then it's not only disrespectful on her part, but a waste of your time. At that point, you're free to make whatever decision you want to make because you gave her chance.

    • And her silence is her answer then, because she has more then enough time to speak or else she is stringing you along when all she really had to say was that she doesn't want to date you.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well i would assume it's tricky because she's having a good time but doesn't seem to want to put a title on it yet, dont make my mistakes and keep asking her because it comes off as being pushy and so she'll get overwhelmed and back asking snd way. I would try making some moves to asking to at least avoid the friend zone, but love isn't planned, itll fall into place naturally. Don't make my mistake and be pushy.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I pushed him right outta my fuckin life
    I'm sorry David😔

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What Guys Said 1

  • ''... failed due to over eagerness...''
    ''3 weeks ago I confessed my feeling to her over the phone''
    ''She struggled to give me an answer''
    ''still no answer yet''
    ''I asked her out again. ''
    ''I brought up the matter again''
    ''she requested for more time for her to think about it''
    ''I'm thinking of asking her out again one last time next week..'''

    See the pattern?

    You have not learned from your previous mistakes and are repeating the same ones again. Too eager.

    Repeatedly asking a girl out won't change anything.

    Your main mistake is that you did not build sexual tension, you did not build attraction and you did a TELL instead of a SHOW.

    SHOW do not TELL. If you built up attraction, created sexual tension, took stuff between you less seriously, more playfully and less eagerly, everything would have been different.

    The girl is avoiding giving you an answer but you already know what it is. It's NO.

    Learn from your mistakes...

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