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I had a pretty terrible first relationship that left me feeling similar to you. Even some family issues which made me hold nothing but regret and coldness towards emotional bonds and connections because of being let down by people who I believed cared about me.
Honestly, talking about it and working on myself helped me. I still have doubts now and then, but allowing yourself to push forward and try to build a connection with someone is a start. Once you begin to like someone, and get to know them better, you can always talk with them about this. I made the error of keeping it to myself for years, which was hard during dating and even making friends.
You have to know that you can succeed and build a healthy, happy relationship with someone. If you start feeling like you want to push that person away, or distance yourself, remind yourself how special you are to THEM and what they mean to YOU.
Have them tell you the good things they see in you, and why they feel the ways they do. Give them a chance to share a bond with you. Psycholigically and emotionally it's difficult to open up, it takes time.
The first step I would recommend is opening up to your friends, or family more and allowing them to help you with this problem. Discussing this openly will help build relationships, show you there's nothing to fear, become more comfortable and show you that bonds are there to improve. Remind yourself how these people take time to give you their company, advice, support, etc. because they care about you, want the best for you, and want to help you.
Step two: Working on yourself and doing new things.
This step helped me out a lot. I felt pretty low and was depressed for a long while, I figured I wasn't ready for a relationship at the time, so I turned my attention to focus on making myself feel good about doing soemthing that meant a lot to me.
I found putting effort into new activities helped, I chose to do volunteer work. It pushed me outside my comfort levels, and helped me interact with people better. It also helped me build up some needed self esteem and make it easier to accept letting people into my life, no matter how I feel about it because they appreciate me and the effort I do. It made me happy to commit my time there.
I hope you find something that helps you. If talking with people, and improving your connections doesn't help, maybe seeing a therapist or psychiatrist will be your best bet.
Good luck to you!1
You're 16. If you're not ready for commitment it's completely okay. Don't push yourself. Just make sure the guys you go on dates with know you aren't looking for a relationship or anything serious.1
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