Anxiety over if he'll want to have sex? How to calm down?

I have contact based anxiety so sex is a no go for me. I don't know what to tell myself so I don't freak out?

Basically, my boyfriend and I used to kiss a lot, and he accidentally triggered my anxiety one night touching my sides. It shook me up and made me scared because the touch made me flashback to something that happened where I had no control over the situation. After that I have been too scared to make out with him because I don't want it to lead to sex or make me feel anything sexual.

I go to therapy but I want to be able to be with him if we get back together (he said I should focus on getting better and that he still loves me) so what should I do so I don't have anxiety over this?


0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • I used to get panic attacks at work because during busy times I felt like I was not performing well. They ONLY GOT WORSE no matter what I did. So I took a vacation. When I came back, they stopped for a while, but eventually came back, so I quit.

    Keep trying if it's something you want to be able to do someday, but don't rush it. Let your head take time to heal.

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you need to discuss your issue with him and tell him that you would rather go a little slower. If he is a decent person, he will wait till you feel more comfortable.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 3

  • Let him know. If he cares, then he'll restrain himself. Work through it in the right time. Don't try to rush. If you push to hard in glass, no matter how thick, it'll crack. Push even further, and eventually you'll break. A crack (What you experienced) can be fixed with time and proper attention. A break is a much harder thing to solve.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Too fast anyways
    That's what kissing leads to, sex.
    And since you obviously aren't ready then may even it's best you're single right now

    0|0
    0|0
  • That is a tough one. So he knows?

    0|0
    0|0
    • He knows about the trigger but not about the sex thing because he wasn't trying to he's just a really physical person

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

Loading...