I feel like I have to chase guys in order to get a boyfriend. Guys never ask me out. I feel undesirable, not pretty enough not sweet kind fun. The only thing men want from me is sex. And I don't even give that out until i get married. I have nothing to offer.
Most Helpful Guy
>> I feel like I have to chase guys in order to get a boyfriend.
>> The only thing men want from me is sex.
I think these two are correlated. If you pursue guys in ways where you're the primary aggressor, then typically you'll run into many cases where guys are only interested in you for sex.
That said, girls often get a misconception about this. Chasing after males aggressively doesn't make them want to just have sex with you. It's not the pursuit that does this. It's that they only wanted to have sex with you all along.
Most guys have a range of girls they're willing to accept as mates. At the very top of that range are ones they can potentially have as a serious girlfriend or even a wife, and they will pursue such girls very aggressively. As we get towards the middle of the range, this is like nice hook-up material for casual sex and they might still pursue such girls. At the bottom of the range are girls they'll just have sex with but probably won't pursue unless they're feeling desperate.
What happens when suddenly the girls at the bottom and middle of this guy's range start pursuing him? It's like now they're handing their pussies to him on a silver platter. He'll take the offer, but she was never marriage/girlfriend material to him to begin with. If he was only going for marriage/girlfriend material, he'd reject her.
It's why I don't recommend girls to become too aggressive. I recommend they take initiative and say "hi", flirt with guys, but never to the point of chasing after them unless you're okay with casual sex. Otherwise, too often if you pursue and chase a guy aggressively, he might start thinking, "I don't really like this girl. I don't want her as a girlfriend, but she's chasing after me. Maybe I can just sleep with her, I'd enjoy that." Then the girl ends up with this jaded view that every guy only wants her for sex.
For your case, instead of channeling this aggression towards chasing down guys, I recommend channeling it towards self-improvement and making friends. Do this well and the guys will start pursuing you, and when guys are pursuing you, you'll find a higher ratio of those who are interested in you for something more than hook-ups.0
Most Helpful Girl
26? Shit girl, you're still wet behind the ears. You have plenty of time. Maybe a site like Christian Mingle would be good to find guys who feel the same way you do about waiting for marriage.
Concentrate on creating a great life for yourself though. Take up some fun hobbies, save your money and travel, collect experiences. When your life is full and you're enjoying it, you'll be incredibly attractive - it's like magic.2