I've been seeing this guy on and off for two months, he keeps saying 'you're too good for me / you're perfect / you have all the qualities a guy wants' Even when we kissed for the first time, his response was 'sorry, if I did something stupid, don't expect anymore from me, it won't happen' - I like this guy, and even though he 'breaks it off ' with me, he always wants to be around me and hang out every weekend - he technically ended it twice with me, but always comes back. He has low self esteem and always feels guilty about things - I don't know what to do/sustain a relationship with him.
Or does he just not like me that much? And keeping me around? He always texts me to hang out. FYI we haven't had sex either.
Most Helpful Guy
That is a hard one. If he isn't willing to get therapy, then you need to ask yourself if you can handle this kind of guy. But know that a good woman can seriously help a guy like this if your truly in love or care for him. having a woman in your life is a huge boost to a guys self esteem. Sex will jack that up 100x also. If your age range is right, then you should be past this nonsense of "has to be with the right guy" crap young women keep thinking. But you didn't say why there hasn't been any sex yet. It take a lot a reassurance from you. Telling him how good he is, propping him up a lot. Sometimes that is enough. But if he is really bad, then only therapy and maybe medication is going to work. So urge him to find a good therapist.0
Most Helpful Girl
He definitely likes you a ton, I think. He thinks you're too good for him.
There's only so much you can do, because he seems to be (mildly) mentally ill. If you still like the relationship, there's no reason to leave just because of that, though.
First, think about why you like him, and shower him with those reasons. Second, find ways he can be better than you in some way-- turn to him for help you know he can give, even if you could do whatever it is yourself.
Even feign a bit of insecurity about not being good enough for him, which might help turn his self-esteem around. Make him feel like he has the power in the relationship.
As long as it's working for you, those are some things you can do.
My only worry is that if his self-esteem is to low, you may find it exhausting to keep pulling him up, and then you'll have to leave him to p[reserve your own mental health and he'll feel even worse.
But, you might be able to pull him up if you do that, especially letting him feel like he has the power and you're as, or more, afraid of losing him as the reverse.
If you start feeling drained and think you might end up breaking it off as a result, then as a last resort suggest he get therapy, and give him a chance to turn it around if he agrees. Hopefully that won't be necessary, but it depends on how insecure he is and how well you take working at boosting him up.0