Can I ask her out again?

Three months ago I started spending a lot of time with a girl. We'd get dinner 4-5 nights a week or just hang out together for hours. About a month in, I asked if she'd like to go on a "date." She said she wasn't sure and would think about it. I thought I wouldn't see her for a while, but she called the next day to get dinner. So I thought she was interested in dating. We never kissed, I'm a little shy, but we did couples activities and were mistaken as a couple a few times. Last week I brought up dating again, she said she liked me but just came out of a four year relationship that was pretty bad. She had ended it about five moths ago. Right now we're keeping our space a little because I really like her and she's not ready for a relationship. Is it alright for me to ask her out again in some time or do I let her come to me when she's ready? I'm a little afraid she might not tell me she's ready for a relationship because she has a history of bad boys and I'm no bad boy.

Updates:
3 days after having the what is our relationship talk and deciding to have a little space for a week or 2, she called me with a work question. That took all of 3 minutes to answer. Then we ended up talking for 2 hours, until 11:30. Is she confused about what she wants? I feel like she wants to focus on her and her job but at the same time she doesn't want to lose me either. How do I know when she's ready for a relationship if it seems she's unsure? I think we're better together than apart.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is tricky in its own way because to be frank, she might have hung out with you on a "date" as a rebound. Now, there could be chemistry between you too, but I would not try to force it or push it upon her. Instead, give her a call/text/however you message her, and ask her how she's doing. See what she's up to, let her know that her happiness is your concern, and be a support. You may get friend zoned, you may not. Time will tell.

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    • When we talked last week, after she said she needed some time, I told her I wanted nothing but the best for her and I was hoping that involved me right now, but I get that you need to get over your ex and have some time to yourself.

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    • So when we start hanging out again should I act just as a friend would or flirty as someone who is interested?
      Well I know it's probably some middle of those two, but should I mention every now and again that I like her or do I not say it until she's ready because she already knows how I feel? I don't want to seem pushy.

    • Be a good friend, don't go all touchy. However, do remind her that you care about her. Be a gentleman: open the doors, offer to pay, have her walk on the outer part and while you walk the closer part to the street, etc. If you feel there is a moment, potentially, brush her out of the way and tell her how special she is.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • You have been friend zoned. Its time to move on she's never going to date you. You are a comfortable non responsibility.

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    • Because you have been friend zoned. Yea she is comfortable knowing you will ALWAYS be at her beck and call but SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. Omg you are going to waste your life and other opportunities thinking that someday she might maybe, MAYBE, want more. If she ever does try to date you it won't last because there's something about you that SHE'S JUST NOT INTO. Stop being so available to her. You could've been living your life instead of wasting it on the phone.

      There is nothing wrong with you except that you want what you can't have and are waiting around for it. There is someone out there for you. Better for you. Do you really want a relationship with someone that doesn't feel as strongly for you as you do for them? Go find someone that reciprocates your feelings.

What Guys Said 1

  • She didn't actually reject you. Just keep talking to her. You're gonna make her think you're not interested. Or better yet ask her if you made it weird by asking her out. Just keep at her if you really like her.

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    • We're taking a little space for a week or two. I plan on keeping in touch and hanging out, I just wanted some time for my feelings to calm down a little, instead of being gaga for a girl who wasn't ready.

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