Is it ok to date someone for 6 months to a year to properly get to know them to see if you want a relationship with them or not?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Imagine being the other person! Being strung along for a year by someone who can't make their mind up. You'd eventually figure they were keeping you around until something better came along.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY. Studies have shown that when you date someone, dating can be broken up into stages before you can really know if you love them.
    1-3 mo (Honeymoon): Rose colored goggles, partner can do nothing wrong, you blindly accept all flaws
    4-6 mo: people start showing true colors, jealous occurs most here, red flags start to come up, and fights are most prevelant. This is when most couples break up
    6-9 mo: if you can make it to this stage, you more than likely really DO love your partner, you were able to accept those flaws from the previous stage and know that you guys can really get through anything, true colors and all.
    9-12 mo: probably the best time to decide on marriage or not

    I am not saying love is down to an exact science and some people find their partners right away or some people need even longer than that to adjust to their partners lifestyle and habits. But, what I am saying, is that the longer you take to date, the better it is. Long dating, short engagement, long marriage. This is why the first year of marriage, so many short term dating couples divorce. They don't know each other well enough yet, fights occur, they blame it on not loving each other ("falling out of love") and don't hold out long enough to see that that's the person they want to be with. Or if the red flag was so big in their marriage, if they would've waited longer they may have been able to save themselves from divorce by just breaking up. It's all about pushing past that first and second stage and deciding whether you can accept this person's flaws that are now showing. Every person has flaws, it's up to you to decide if they're worth loving them for their flaws or if the flaw is too much and will be toxic to your relationship in the end.
    Also, on a completely different note, it's also not good to live with someone before marriage. Divorce rates are much higher for those who live together before rather than waiting. I think it's because when you live together it gives you this idea of, "I can leave whenever I don't like this person's flaws". The whole point of marriage is to move in together, start a family and NOT LEAVE. Otherwise, it's just a piece of paper. It keeps you out of that mindset.
    Just date, have fun and when the time comes, get married to the one you know you love and then live together. You will have a much higher chance of success :)

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What Guys Said 12

  • It's good idea but the time frame is too long and bad. That is like playing with their feelings.

    Should be way less

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    • I have it done to me and it was very bad :( not even over it after 4 years

  • I don't know if its taken me 6 month but yeah it could take me anywhere from a month to prolly 3 at most. Usually by that time i can figure out whether i would want to be around this girl everyday of my life.

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  • It's neither good nor bad, subjectively. But it is quite a long time. Unless they themselves don't mind it, it can be a problem as they may want to find out sooner (as most people often do).

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  • A year is a long time. You are young, so you should date a lot of guys without getting serious with any of them. It's important to go on dates with a lot of different guys because that's how you will know when you meet someone special. They will be better than all the guys you previously met.

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  • By relationship I take it you mean mutually-exclusive? At 2 dates a week, if you are not sure in a month, move on.

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  • How about spend a lot of time with them in one month so you can save yourself some time (and save his time as well) ? If you were to date me and you told me about this from the beginning i would just refuse to date you.

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  • What does 'relationship' mean to you? I think you imagine it being more than it is.

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  • I wouldn't waste my time with that crap.

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  • If this is serious hardcore constant dating absolutely not ok. If it's just sort of like you two hanging out occasionally then sure. If it feels like a relationship and ten you say hey by the way the trial run is over you flunked bye bye I could easily see someone being exceptionally pissed off.

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  • No..

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  • "Is it ok?" It's required in my book! :)

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  • Yeah sure.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I think so. People are always so ready to rush into relationships. It takes time to get to know someone and to be honest, 6 months isn't that long of a time even if it seems like it is. So, to wait 6 months to make a relationship official I don't think is too much to ask for.

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  • I wouldn't date someone that long without commitment or an exclusive relationship

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  • yes and no... some might appreciate it and others might feel lead on

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  • That's what I'm currently going through at the minute! I completely agree with this as it gives you plenty of time to really get to know the person. I don't think you should ever rush into a relationship with someone. I've done this in the past and it ended pretty quickly as we didn't really know each other as well as we thought we did.

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  • That's the smart thing to do and it will help you build a lasting relationship in the long run

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  • it is okay

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