How do I overcome rejection?

I feel like I should have this question nailed down, answered, and overcome by now, but truth is: I don't. Lately, I feel like the the few guys that I have liked have turned me down, rejected me, ghosted me, and flaked on me. Yet, the guys I have not been into still try to talk to me. I am not one of those girls that will shut down a nice guy, but I just felt like values and personalities didn't clique with those guys. I am the kind of person who is always focusing on self-growth and improvement and I have grown abundantly over the past few years, so I just don't understand why I am still experiencing this. I feel like I am unworthy of love. Rejection can at times take a toll on my self-esteem as it starts to make me question what I am doing wrong. I feel like dating is a game and it sucks because I hate games... My greatest weakness might be that I am a little shy and reserved at times but I don't believe that I have let that define me in my the dating realm.. I am also a very interesting, deep, passionate, driven, kind, caring, empathetic, selfless, and smart person. I enjoy being silly as well.. So I could definitely use some advice right about now?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel the exact same way. It's painful and I'm still feeling this pain since I have never found a girlfriend. I still haven't figured it out. But one thing I have noticed is when you are active and following your hobbies or going out with friends you don't think about it so much and therefore you don't feel depressed. The days when you are just laying in bed or on the sofa browsing the web you will feel depressed about it and you won't be able to forget about it, at least for me. The last few months I haven't been that active I have stopped some good habits and haven't been to the gym for a while (because of money) and have been lazier since the holidays and I have been depressed and lonely. Also working out makes you happier so do that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I just wrote a MyTake that discusses rejection because I have been seeing a lot of this sentiment. I am 35. Back when I was dating, online dating and apps weren't a thing. If you were going to meet someone, you had to go out. Inherently, you were going to be rejected a lot... maybe the guy has a girlfriend, maybe they are taking a break from dating, maybe they don't like red hair, etc... but you used the opportunity to meet interesting people, network, and make new friends. Rejection is a part of life. If you are ambitious, it is a big part of life. Every path to success usually has multiple rejection points. The key is to look at rejection as an opportunity - an opportunity to refine yourself, or to learn what you want or don't want, or to prepare you for something great in the future.

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What Guys Said 19

  • ". I feel like dating is a game and it sucks because I hate games... "
    - Lets look at it like a dance.

    "" Rejection can at times take a toll on my self-esteem"
    - Yes it can and what you're feeling is universal at all levels of rejection.

    Advice: Dating can be fun and exciting and it can also be very disappointing and frustrating. However, my rule of thumb is that when you meet the right person, things will just hum along smoothly. I've never gotten into a relationship where i 2nd guess my words and actions. So i would continue to focus on yourself in terms of self growth and putting yourself in opportunistic environments not only for dating, but net working and new experiences.

    I did all the tinder, bumble and other online stuff along side of friend of friend referrals and honestly never had a bad date, only.. just not the right one.

    My girlfriend now i met at a crossfit competition, our first week we saw each other 4/7 days that week. Typically... i would set a date once per week if that.

    Keep on grindinnggggggggg...

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  • There's 7 billion people on our planet. Follow your goals and be patient within your progress and you'll come to find that rejection doesn't define who we are because it happens to everyone. Someone is interested in the qualities that you find empowering so just keep your head heald high and be your best self and you'll see that you won't have any regrets. The best gains come to those that persevere. Don't let anyone's perception dictate weather or not you should smile, find it within yourself to laugh and enjoy the moment and your character will become much more reinforced

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  • For standards, I'm not saying lower them, but if you're catholic and someone else is protestant, or you're white and the other person is a minority it's time to stop leting those little differences get in the way. It really is a lateral move not a step down, I know families who want their kids to be with certain people and they will tolerate them if they suck. But their kids decide to not listen to them and that person could blow a stop sign and they'll try to shoot them.

    For nice goes though I don't blame you, many nice guys think by being nice their shitty qualities will be outshined. For the guys that did turn you down sadly dating has become a game of two people scared to catch feeling and the biggest Dbag wins and controls everything. It blows my mind how people go on these lavish trips, adventures with someone, sleep with them but they are only a "friend". Dating today is like trying to get someone to spend a night at your house,, they don't have to pay bills or anything like that then asking them to move in a year after this has happened. I totally feel you, dating today sucks, you're 22 in time aka my age people start to wise up and see how dumb they are so they'll make better choices

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  • Hang in there kid.
    The fact that you're growing and maturing is the most important thing.
    You'll change a lot in your early twenties.
    I grew up a lot at 22. Having the right values is really important.
    As far as guys are concerned.
    All it takes is one, if he's the right one.

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  • Lots of men and women are very stupid. Most of the time the nastiest people who deserve to be rejected don't get rejected. And the genuine ones, good people often get rejected.
    You will meet the right person one day.

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  • Don't make other people's problems yours. Everybody does this and it's a huge mistake. Whatever their 'issue' is is not your problem.

    "Not my monkeys, not my circus"

    :)

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  • Find something to distract you from your rejection. Also find a formula for yourself to deal with it. Rejection is something we have to face often during life.

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  • The only problem here is you. Reading this I'm sure you have tons of losers in your message that you tell things like "I wish I could find a guy as nice as you".

    The problem is you go for the very best guys you can find that already have a bunch of girls after them, like the athletes of your college, etc. But those guys go for girls hotter than you. Am I right?

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  • It's tough, I don't usually put myself out there, but when it happens I tend to dwell on it, then start wondering what's wrong with me probably way past the time the girl even remembers it

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  • If you are talking of the guys you texted here... lol honestly you would be exaggerating. At the end of the day, people must be known in real, face to face, not here or any other awkward so called "date site".

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  • I don't find any reason someone rejects you... You might have to look at your post and provide the missing information of why someone actually rejects you?

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    • It is pretty hard to figure out when guys are not clear about why they reject you.

    • May be they expect something... What boys expect.. I would say.. Spend time with me... Share moments.. I would prefer girl childish behavior rather than trying to be too matured.. Share your happier moment but don't forget to share your sad moments.. It makes me more feel like you really love me

  • By rejecting someone else.

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  • My best advice is to stay positive. Everyone experiences patches of difficultly. Just keep moving forward

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  • You can add me, I'll never reject you~ :)

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  • simply you stop rejecting other.. people will stop rejecting you

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  • take your time, then just get back out there, plenty of fish, right?

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  • Rejection sucks, it's a reminder that somehow who you are isn't good enough, I hate that.

    You are stronger than you think, even if you aren't into certain guys, at least they see something in you worth pursuing. So don't let a few rejections define you.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Just forget about them move on. They aren't the right ones for you. Rejection happens us all and the best thing to do is just to move on and not let it get to you.

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  • His loss baby

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  • just think that it happens to everybody

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