I am 19 years old and its 2017, Can my mother forbid me from dating?

Okay so...
> I am 19 years old, i live alone with my mom so she counts on me to always be truthful since we only have each other but she is a hard ass and strict, and has high hopes for me.
> I have a boyfriend who i have been seeing since the end of January, he is nerdy, a gamer, he works, caring, and isn't a criminal, my mom knows he is my best friend from middle school and i want to tell her but i didn't want to because i was scared of her response, and cause i wanted to make sure it lasted longer then 2 weeks so i wouldn't be embarrassed if it ended shortly.
> The last time i asked if i could date was when i was 16 and she said no because i have school and my future to worry about.
>I want to tell her when she comes home that i been dating this guy for over a month but i am scared of her response because she has never been a easy , friendly mom. She has always been a hard ass and kept me away from parties, kept me away from drinking, i can't be out later then 10, text her when i get home ( when she is out), she has always been over protective. So i am basically asking for advice when it comes to telling your parents (hard-asses) you been dating a guy.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No way can she forbid dating. You are over 18, are classed as an adult, and you can do as you please, as long as it's legal.

    Having said that, it is presumably her house you are living in. That changes things slightly. If she sets some rules, you should abide by them. If they are unreasonable rules, tell her they are. Which leads to the big question! Could you support yourself if you moved out? If the rules remained unfair? If she tried to forbid you dating?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I didn't tell my mom, until she thought I was a lesbian, because she's similarly over-protective and a single mom. If your mom is like mine, she probably won't be okay with you dating until after college and you have a job, since the general roadmap they have for us is, school, college, job, and THEN family (so dating then marriage).

    If you want to tell her, then I think you should come from a place of, 'Hey mom, I am seeing this guy but I'm being responsible about it. I won't get pregnant, he's a good guy, my grades aren't slipping, etc.' It's likely her main concerns are your grades at college will slip or you'll have to drop out if you get pregnant. So you want to address those concerns and show that you are responsible about it, it will likely calm her fears.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It sounds like she isn't keeping you from dating as much as just trying to keep you from being hurt. If she's known this guy, or at least known about him, and has been ok with him in your life, he'll probably have her approval to date you. But it's impossible for me to say as a stranger.

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  • No. You are an adult. Your parents have ZERO legal authority over you. Your life is YOURS to live and do as you please now.

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  • If you are still dependent on her (ie housing, insurance, phone, etc) then yes she can.

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  • You are adult enough to make your decision, but for your mother you will always be her baby.

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  • Once you are 18, you are an adult. She can't stop you from doing anything. You need to stand up for your rights as an ADULT.

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