How long is too long to want to see me?

When is it the right time to figure if a guy has given up on wanting to see you? We were seeing each other first every 2 days then, every other day. Then it got to be back to back days. For about 3 weeks. This week he told me in advance (Friday) his new job schedule working in the kitchen changed. So his days off have changed. He also has another job working on weekends. And usually until early in the am like 3-4 am (bar). So now he doesn't have a day off from both jobs he mentioned it early, now I haven't seen him since last Friday. He's texted me to say hi and how was I. I didn't respond so fast, and he responded at his breaks or when off. I miss him, he said he missed me too. How long should I wait? I'm getting a little off feeling. And I never use to trust my instincts, now I am learning to. So I'm thinking I should step back. Is this the early signs of him stepping back? Or signaling to me to step back? Should I text him? I never initiate texts, but I don't think this is the time to start, don't want to seem clingy. But I still worry. I also saw him online on the dating app (Pof) that we met, but then again so was I. It was harmless. I know we aren't for sure and I am dating someone else. But it's all about him in my mind. I'm just going with the flow and see where it takes us. So I haven't seen him since Friday. It's now Wednesday. How should I test him? Find out if he's still interested? Or is it really the work schedule?


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  • If it were me I would just wait through the weekend and see. I tend to pull away if I think someone else is doing the same. Maybe he is very busy at work so give it the benefit of the doubt but always trust your instincts. Good luck!

  • I'm going through the same kinda thing at the minute. He kept saying he was busy and was too broke to come down to visit. I just asked him outright if he ever intended on coming back down again and he replied saying yes but it just wouldn't be this week. Maybe you should just ask him outright? Or send a message asking how he is and how the job is going? See where the conversation takes you?

    • I'm an advocate of the rubberband effect with men. They pull back, so do I. And plus it's his work. I don't want to put pressure or emotional neediness out there. Maybe if the weekend comes and goes and no real wanting to see me, then I'll tell him to lose my number. I feel like to go from where we were, to that long. Something changed for the negative.

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    • I'm so sorry to hear this 😔 You deserve so much more than this! What do you mean because the way you both started?

    • I initiated a friends with benefits relationship only. But he put out a very emotional connection, it was confusing. Usually those relationships are emotionless to me. But it got intimate and then of course liked it. So from experience I know sleeping with someone early will ruin everything. I was in a weird place when I initiated. Then find out he's hot and sweet. Fml. Lol. Not doing that again.

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