Should I give dating my opposite a chance?

I'm super inexperienced with dating and sexual stuff but the guy has had multiple exes before and definitely isn't a virgin. He also make a lot of sexual jokes with everyone since he's super open but I'm more of the innocent type so I don't do that either. Also he used to do drugs and drink. He stopped doing drugs but he still drinks. I've never done either...
He's super nice though and I don't think he would do anything without asking me if I'm ok with it. Should I give him a chance or are we too different?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You say this guy you like has had multiple exes before and you’ve had none; he makes lots of sexual jokes with everyone while you sit and listen because you’re more the innocent type; he drinks and has been into drugs and you’ve never done either; etc. To me this would mean you need to give the idea of a relationship with him a lot of thought before you go on your first date. The idea that opposites attract is not always true. True, it takes an opposite magnet to attract the other one but you’re not talking about magnets. Think about this: You won’t have much in common with him so one of you will always have to be compromising. Also, if he’s had multiple exes you could become the next one. There’s a reason none of his relationships have worked out. It might be a good idea of you to check with a couple of his exes and see if you can find out what happened before you go diving in head first into either having sex with him or a relationship. You could very quickly end up pregnant with a responsibility for life with a guy you end up disliking very much. He could ruin your reputation. Don’t look at this super nice thing as meaning too much because he’s probably been the very same way with the other girls that became exes. He would be at his best right now with you. Once he has sex with you a time or two, that “super nice stuff” could change very quickly. Bur of course, this could work with him could work much nicer that it did with the other girls, but the odds are that it won’t! I’d give much consideration and deliberation to giving your “opposite” a chance. This is something that “YOU” need to think about and do listen to other that have already been with him. I don’t think it’d be a good idea to put yourself in a situation to where you’d almost have to change overnight. If you definitely feel you want to give him a chance, then give it slowlyyyyyyyy... veryyyy slowlyyyyy.. The slower the better. Good luck!

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    • Thanks so much for writing all of this! It's really helpful. As for why things didn't work out with his exes, I'm not 100% sure but he has told me he's remained friends with some of them. Also, when he was telling me about his drug past and drinking habits, I told him that I've never tried either. He told me that I don't have to. I guess what I'm trying to say is, so far it seems like he does respect the boundaries I set.
      I think maturity and life experiences wise, yes we're opposites. But personality wise we're both easy to talk to and driven individuals. We've had a few deep conversations but we also joke around a lot. And we bond because we both love to learn and find common ground in being engineering majors.
      I can definitely see where you're coming from though and I appreciate the premonitions. c:

    • YW, thanks so much for the comment back. When it comes to why some of his exes didn't work out try to find out 100% not almost 100%. His remaining friends means nothing because that could mean only that they're not mad at each other or that one of them didn't get the shitty end of the deal. True, you'll never have to drink or do drugs like he did or he does. The main this here is that you don't want a boyfriend that's high on drugs or alcohol when you're out with him. You can control your own behavior but how about his? I'm not trying to be negative here but only giving you more food for thought because a guy like that can set a girl down a slippery slope in a hurry. One that she'll never be able to recover from. I guess I just can't imagine a guy changing his whole idea of having fun this quickly unless you're really special as I think you are. To leave you on a good note, just use your own good common sense, gut feeling and do your best trying to keep him in line and keeping his promises.

    • Yeah I totally understand where you're coming from. I don't think I'm at a place in my life where I want to rush into anything I'm not ready for. I probably won't date him. Thanks so much for all the help!

Most Helpful Girl

  • No, I don't think you should. That sounds like a recipe for drama.

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    • Thanks! I might just remain friends. I thought about it for a while.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Yea try it out. Or not. You might enjoy is more with a guy who is more on your level

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    • I like him but I'm definitely not his level. Like would you date a girl who's never experienced a lot of what you have? Wouldn't it be annoying having to deal with her inexperience?

    • Nah it ain't annoying. Guys like Virgins actually. They like. Wing the girls first and showing her how it's done cause it make them feel more like men.

  • do what u want, just hope no means no

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    • Well yeah when I say no I mean it

  • They say opposites attract so give it a shot

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    • I'm more worried that he drinks and that he's very ready for sex while I probably won't be for a while

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    • I'm worried he's not going to want to deal with my inexperience. Don't most guys find that annoying?

    • Frustrated maybe but if he has a good heart he will be patient

What Girls Said 1

  • I think the first time should be with somebody that will give you chills down your spine, and won't even make you question the situation like you are doing it now.
    If you came here to ask US about this, then it shows me that you are not ready and that you need somebody to sort of give you the right PUSH.
    Do it with somebody that CARES for you for real... not a one time thing because it will leave a lot of emotional damage...
    Good luck

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    • Thanks! I think the only reason I considered him is cause I was recently rejected and maybe he's a rebound.

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