Invited him out with a group, he said he couldn't go. Is there hope?

This guy and I have been casually dating for a month. We met in class, so we have a lot of mutual friends/acquaintances. We recently went two weeks without texting/seeing each other after I cut a date short - honestly, the no contact was sort of my fault because I never texted him after that night like I normally did. He's been very open about liking me, but he's insecure about me. He thinks I'm out of his league, and sometimes when we're out he'll joke about me seeing other guys or being too good for him.

Yesterday, I reached out over text acknowledging how I'd been acting towards him (rather cold) and inviting him to a comedy club with mutual friends as a peace offering. ("Hey, it's your favorite ice queen. We're going to a comedy show tonight, you're invited!"). He replied RIGHT away - like he started typing after I sent the first sentence. He said: "I don't think you're an ice queen. That sounds fun, I'm out of town though."

I never replied because I was out with friends the whole day/night. Neither of us are phone people. Is there hope for us to go back to hanging out? Our text conversations are always like this (short/to the point) and it seems like he's down to act like nothing happened. What do you make of his reply?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd think how you've acted might have made him insecure about how you feel. He might have thought your invitation was out of guilt. He thought going in you were out of his league, and then you seemed not to be interested.

    I generally never will "chase" a guy, but I'd make a temporary exception if I found myself in your shoes, and I've had some sort of similar situations and had to make sure I showed my interest.

    If you want to revive what you had, you're going to have to revive it by making it clear you're very interested. That means kinda chasing for a bit, making sure he knows that you're interested in whatever you're interested in-- not 100% clear exactly what it is; I think it's casual dating, but not completely sure.

    Whatever it is, though, make sure he knows you WANT it. Then if he's still interested, chances are he'll accept.

    • Even when we were talking regularly I often invited him out with friends. He always declines when it's a group setting, though, which is sort of weird to me because we're all mutual friends, so it isn't like I'm being too forward by introducing him to all of my friends he's never met before. Definitely get what you mean about chasing him for a bit - I need to cut the poor guy some slack! I've been too cold towards him without meaning to, mainly because I didn't realize how insecure he was until recently. Should I invite him out one-on-one?

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    • Thank you so much! You've been so helpful, I really appreciate it. He replied, and when he got my text he replied just a few minutes later. I got back to him the next day (didn't read the text til I woke up) but he hasn't replied yet - probably busy or laying low. I'll ask him to hang out one-on-one this Friday and see what happens :)

    • I'm very happy to hear that! :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • yes, but you should try your absolute hardest to show that he needs/wants you

    • What do you mean? Like be more expressive towards him/affectionate so he knows I like him, or give him more incentive to like me back?

    • yes guys have a space for that special someone and you need to show him that it's you no matter what

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