How do I become attracted to this guy?

I have a guy friend. He's great. He's funny, he's interesting, he's kind. I know he's into me. We're the same faith, both single, and roughly the same age. The thing is I'm just not attracted to him. He'd be the absolute perfect boyfriend and even husband material but for that. Truth to be told I haven't found myself attracted to anyone since high school a decade ago - so it's not just him. I want to be with him but I worry that not being physically attracted would be too much of an issue.

What can I do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • How long u 2 been dating?

    Did u have sex with him?

    Coz things change if u do. Also it's different story if u 2 didn't date=.=! Then obviously u won't be attracted to him physically.

    Also I thought psyical attraction is more with men towards women.

    Women in general emotional connection and after sometime they develop psyical attraction to their partner maybe due to sex or long attachment time

    • We haven't really dated. Sex is absolutely 100% off the table if we're not married, for both of us. I just... I don't really want to start dating and find out it's not going to work because I'm not attracted to him and can't be attracted to him.

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    • I've honestly never dated before. I had like 1 crush in high school a decade ago - it was some guy I barely knew. He asked me out about 2 years ago and I said I didn't want to be in a relationship and he said ok, he was ok with just being friends with me.

    • U didn't date the guy at all.
      Ofc u so t have physical attraction to him.
      So it's ur choice either risk going out or not.

      Can do it in 3 ways
      1- stay friends
      2- go out for very few dates

      3- go out I. Lots of dates try to get the maximum out of it anyway u guys can't go back being. Friends after 2-3 dates might as well try to go on high number and become gf/bf and give it ur best

  • Do you find women attractive? Just curious.. I don't think there is anything you can really do. You can't force attraction and it won't work unless it develops naturally.

    If you really do care for him, then perhaps you will let him go so he can find someone who finds all of his sides equally attractive.

    • I don't really find women attractive, no. I just... I like him and I'd absolutely love to spend the rest of my life with him, I'm just not physically attracted to him. At the same time, the thought of losing him to another woman absolutely burns me up - I want him so much, I just don't want him physically.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you're insecurity is pushing you away from him. If it doesn't work out with him there is plenty more out there 😉

    • It's not really insecurity - I'm just not really the kind of person who gets physically attracted to people just by hanging out with them. I mean, if it was going to happen, I would think I'd have felt at least a little physical attraction to someone in the last 10 years. But I'm worried that I'd be making a mistake and destroying what we could have by trying to push a relationship without that physical spark.

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    • Think about it 😉

    • Actions have consequences either way, but I have no idea what the consequences of my actions here are going to be or even what actions I should take. If I did I wouldn't be asking the question!

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