I suffer from mental illness, should I refrain from attempting to date 'normal' women?

I suffer from Clinical Depression and Borderline personality disorder (BPD). This does make my life much tougher, but my illness is well under control and I function normally for the most part.

I don't prefer to keep this a secret for too long with the women I date, because I believe that they have a right to know about my condition (since I can still face issues occasionally). But things fall apart after that because they think I am a fundamentally flawed man. I don't even blame them for it, because no one would willingly want to be with a mentally ill person.

Should I only seek to date women having similar issues, because they would know that people like us aren't that different from the others and we are capable of love too? I did find a few online dating sites that cater to people suffering from mental health issues.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • you know I think the girl that will truly lovr you, she'll understand and I guess when you love someone you accept them for their good and bad.. if you could find someone with the same condition, it will be easier for both of you.. but you will have to understand that both of you need to be there for each other..

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    • That's exactly how I feel about it at this point. I don't think any 'normal' woman would give me s chance.

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    • Thanks for your kind words!

      By the way, I meant to say '4 to 5 dates'. Sorry!

    • no problem whatsoever.. if you need anything let me know..

Most Helpful Guy

  • Definitely not! You shouldn't date someone based on their health, it's just immoral. If you like someone, why not?

    If people are too scared to commit to you and support you with your mental illness, that's lucky you for losing them sooner. If people think you're flawed because of it, they're ignorant.

    Don't put yourself down for it at all. If you can find someone who can accept you for you and support you too, that's a beautiful relationship worth waiting for. Anyone who can't do that simply isn't worth it.

    As for dating someone else suffering from mental illness, it can have its pros and cons. On one hand, they're more likely to understand and be able to support you. On the other, you might not be able to support each other or make each other happy and just make everything worse for one another.

    Pros and cons on both sides. At the end of the day, just date who you want. Don't feel like you have to limit yourself because a few people can't handle it. I get that it can be difficult to live with, but it doesn't mean it's impossible to live with.

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    • I get what you mean. Unfortunately, it's not just about dating who I want because the other person should also 'want' to be with me.

      I have fought against all odds to be where I am today. I have a decent job, and I can manage my illness well enough to function normally for the most part. But women wanting to stop going out with me the moment I reveal my condition, has dealt a severe blow to my self confidence. I feel that only women who suffer from similar issues will be fine with giving me a chance to prove what I am capable of.

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    • It's not necessarily a negative thing though if someone does walk away. If they walk away, it just shows that they wouldn't have helped your situation or they didn't care enough to try to understand. I've known couples where one member suffered from mental illness and the other didn't, but the key part was that the support and understanding was there. Or at least they tried to. That can mean more than anything.

      I definitely understand what you mean about women who are in your shoes being able to prove what you're capable of and I do agree. But what if that person can't help you the way they should? Or what if you can't help them? Not saying it is likely to happen, but it's the same thought process just from both sides.

      I still retain that you don't have to restrict yourself. Anyone who you date will have to be able to accept you for you and be able to support you, as is the basis for any relationship.

    • Personally, I think it comes from a lack of understanding on the topic that people just flee. Maybe if you talk to them about it and educate them a little before you let them know you suffer from mental illness could help out a little?

      And I know it can be daunting to feel rejected, but that's really the dating process as a whole, right? Don't limit yourself because of a few people!

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • I've got clinical depression, anxiety disorder, anger issues, my self esteem is at rock bottom and I have a body dysmorphic disorder.
    Was too anxious to ask a question, but this helps a lot. Thanks!

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    • I hope both of us get our answers!

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