Did I overreact with this guy or have I been wronged?


I've been seeing this guy for almost two months and things have been good. I can tell his feelings have grown for me and I like him a lot too.
Yesterday he came over and hung out and then he said he would see me tomorrow. Even said he wanted to sleep over. I believed him. He even texted me saying he couldn't wait to have me in his arms the next day.
Then today right when I was getting off work, he texted saying he wanted to hang out tomorrow instead because his best friend was coming over tonight.
I asked why he couldn't invite me. Obviously they're going to be drinking and celebrating the holiday. He gave some bs excuse that he couldn't because his friend had to tell him some personal stuff.

Now I dont even want to talk to him again. He texted me asking how my day went but I didn't reply. I am incredibly hurt. And I know I wouldn't be this affected by it but my ex would do this crap all the time and I got hurt pretty bad before finally deciding i needed to end that relationship.

So am I blowing this out of proportion? I just can't help but be incredibly hurt by this.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a normal response to feel hurt and wonder about the situation. Things seem to be going good for you guys for the last 2 months

    --> however I would think 2 months might be a little too soon to be injected yourself into his personal life. At this point you still want to keep it a little bit more general and light hearted. Sometimes we get caught in a bubble and don't see past that

    --> at two months. No matter how amazing it was for the last 2 months. Let him be with his friend without asking to tag a long. Just give him space otherwise you put yourself i situations where the other needs to make up a fabricated story just to tell you no. It puts him in a odd situation too cause Im sure he rather not lie. But the truth is it's just too soon for that

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    • For me, its more about him saying "i want to stay the night with you tomorrow night/i can't wait to se you tomorrow night/i can't wait to hold you in my arms/etc. And then cancelling like that. My ex did that kind of thing CONSTANTLY.

    • Yea I do understand. I don't think it's ok for him to do that either. But what I mean is it doesn't mean what he said isn't true, sometimes early on if a friend needs to hang out, one that you've known longer maybe than her, you tend to give then priority

      It's defiantly a little disappointing and I do understand that. If it becomes a habit then it's time to reevaluate the situation. But if it's sort of just this one time. Let it go if you can and be positive again --> it will do wonders for your connection going forward

    • In other words. Pick your battles. I agee with you and on your side. Yea it sucks. But bite the bullet this time for the greater good of you two

      If it becomes a pattern then think about it more

What Guys Said 3

  • I think you are definitely blowing it WAY out of proportion - though I also get that your ex has made you very sensitive to this behavior. I know it's disappointing, but stuff happens in life, and plans get changed. Even if you're his top priority, you can't be his ONLY priority. He at least let you know as soon as he could, so he's respectful of you and your time.

    He really hasn't done anything wrong, and you've got to understand that he has a life beyond you, and will sometimes need to share his time with other people (and this sometimes means without you). That's normal and to be expected.

    It's also not like he canceled some major plans - some event you'd planned on for weeks in advance. So keep that context in mind.

    I really think you are over-sensitive about this because of your ex - who I'm sure was a jerk and deserves to be an ex - but you can't punish new guys just because your ex was a jerk.

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  • He may just be worried about his friends approval which still isn't a good excuse. That doesn't mean he doesn't like you enough though. I know I'm always weary about introducing girls I like because I don't want to hear them saying stuff like "dang, you should hit that" just other junk that I don't want people saying about the girl I like. It could also be that he didn't want his friends hitting on you. Who knows! Call him out on it.

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    • I'm pretty sure he knows I'm upset about it to some degree. I didn't reply to his text for hours. And the last thing I said before that was "K"

    • He blew me off. My ex did this to me constantly. That's why I'm so pissed off and hurt that I hope I never see him again

  • IMHO you're making a mountain out of a molehill

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What Girls Said 2

  • you're overreacting.. it happens all the time.. and please if you really wanna move on with your life stop comparing.. trust me it's the worst feeling ever.. and you'll never ever have a healthy relationship this way.,

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    • I think I'm having a hard time trusting anyone after my last relationship. I didn't think I'd be this affected by it.

    • Show All
    • it's okay.. I used to be like that.. I didn't wanna see him or even reply to him but after a day or two I cry my eyes out I want him back lol it was hard.. give it few days and you'll be okay don't worry.. and if things didn't work out.. don't rush being in another relationship.. just try to take time figuring what you really like and don't like.. and when you're ready you can discuss these things with him..

    • Alright, I'll wait a few days

  • he just wanted a night out with the bro. you are way overreacting unless he repeats often. cool your heels over this one time instance. he probably bragged about you with his best friend

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