Why he only cuddles and caresses but does not have sex with me?

So I met this guy online 4 months ago, although it's been 4 months, we've only seen each other 8 times, we still haven’t done it!

Our 1st date, I moved his coffee date from 2pm to 6pm drinks. We kept talking had dinner and hanged out for 6 hours till midnight with lots of kissing.

2nd date, he asked me to hang out at his place, I declined. We didn’t see each other 2 weeks after, only texts initiated from both sides. Then I went on holidays for a month.
After I'm back we saw each other couple of times, on 4th date, I went to his place one afternoon, we made out, he wanted to take it further, I didn’t feel comfortable, not sure if he really likes me (his lack of date planning) I said no, later he tried again, I declined again... later he offered me to stay over, I declined and went home.

We saw each other a few more times, dinners, movies, festivals.. I started liking him more think he's a nice guy, I want to be with him now. He didn’t invite me to his place anymore, I live with family it's too early for him to meet my family. I invited myself over when he wanted to catch up again, he cuddled me all night, touched me allover, we even got naked but he didn’t want sex because he's worried his flatmate would hear us!
We hangout again after, he didn’t plan ahead, he asked me one night if I wanted to hangout, I was tired so didn’t, he suggested to hangout the next day, so I went over and stayed the night, he was cuddling me a bit, got naked, we were both sleepy, fell asleep soon after. I was hoping he would initiate sex, but he didn’t. We could hear his flatmate having fun throughout the night lol, he seemed embarrassed

The next morning he went for a run while I slept in, after returning he made me really nice breakfast, when I offered to help cleaning up, he insisted cleaning up with a big smile.

Is this guy are attracted to me or not, he is always so nice and sweet, why wouldn't he have sex with me, he did try before, why not anymore? Is flatmate really an issue?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well you could always try the option of planned sex instead of spontaneous one. Flatmates could be an issue of he wants to keep his reputation. good thing about planning is that you can rent a hotel! :D


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok you declined to have sex like two times. Being nice a considered he wanted you to feel comfortable first and then do it. Guys can't read your mind you have to tell him you want to because in his mind if you feel uncomfortable and tries to do it, your going to mad. He doesn't want that so he is waiting. Maybe you should also invite him to your place because I can clearly see that his housemate is in there and he would be embarrassed also. He also attracted because he made you breakfast, he doing things for you, he invited you over to do things and even when you decline he is still asking, and your still in touch after 4 months. So get a hotel or go some where private but you can't just expect him to just do it because he wants to make sure your safe and comfortable. And if I didn't clarify already he clearly likes you.

    • Thank you, this makes me happy, guess I really like him too :-)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • may be he wants u to move in for sex first

  • Maybe he has gone without doing it for so long that he is very nervous.


What Girls Said 2

  • Maby you should tell him you want the d

    • Just like that? lol
      I did ask him why we didn't have sex the morning after the , he said the walls are too thin, he had stage fright and he is a bit shy... so should I just say but I want the d? haha

    • No don't do that because that is WAY to vulgar just say you want sex and let's go to a hotel

  • he loves you and he respects you


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